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Disassociation and Mental Illness

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Disassociation and Mental Illness

Postby TheBuddha » Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:27 pm

I recently had what I would call a transformative moment. Read below and give me your opinions. These are writings I did as the thoughts came to me so it may not flow as well as it could. Thanks!

I've have a theory on where consciousness lies physically in the brain. Firstly I'm not crazy or delusional. I believe that there is some observable evidence to support my theories.
I've unknowingly suffered from tourettes for the last 20 years of my life and recently found 75mg of DXM twice daily to completely resolve my symptoms. Since I was 10 I've had ticks and what I know understand was a fog wrapped around my mind. I always felt I was stupid and that I lacked any creative ability. For the last 2 weeks while taking the aforementioned dosage I have had a clarity of mind and creative energy that I never experienced before. I'm assuming that since I felt the necessity to overcompensate for my assumed lack of intelligence, I ended up learning quite a bit of information. I also overcompensated for my assumed lack of creativity.

As a result of my tourettes I suffered from social anxiety, general anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation, which up to this point I thought were related to OCD, depression anxiety and fear. Now I am free from ticks, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and BDD. The past two weeks have been pretty incredible as I have found that I possess the ability to play any instrument I pick up without thinking. I write extremely poetic and nice sounding songs in one go, off the top of my head. I can sing in any vocal style I choose. I can remember every single memory I've ever had and I can make abstract connections using that information. This is why I'm writing this right now. 

As a result of my depression I experienced a need to find purpose and meaning. This caused me to study subjects as varied as neuroscience, physics, psychology, spirituality, philosophy, religion, and music. I feel that the ability for me to make abstract connections as well as the information I learned during the past twenty years have given me a potential insight into consciousness.

I believe it is possible for the limbic system to be the seat of consciousness. For a bit of metaphysic/philosophical speculation, I will say I think we are all connected to a mass universal consciousness and are only physical manifestations of that consciousness. The limbic system is where the "Soul" lives and is also the seat of creativity and passion. The frontal lobe on the other hand, with its higher executive functions, impedes the realization of creativity and passion and also houses every mental illness known. This has been theorized all the way back to Lao tzu, with his insightful and very practical method of action with inaction, or the way of water. When disassociating the frontal lobe from the limbic system, which happens with the use of DXM, as it is a dissociative hallucinogen, one can fully realize the truest form of truth, the soul. The great Saddartha also theorized this same concept, as did jesus, and Mohammed , praise be his name. Love has always been intrinsic in us as is shown with extremely creative types, such as artists. Their empathy is direct evidence of a more heavy dependence on the limbic system rather than the frontal lobes. The current state of our world is the direct result of an overuse of the frontal lobes by the masses. This is a result of the aggressive tactics of the advertising industry, consumerism, and globalization. As the world has become more dependent and influenced by the need for monetary growth the limbic system has taken a back seat to the retched effects of the high executive function of the FLs. This is why there is murder, stealing, jealousy, and overall suffering in the world. A return to the limbic system might be the only path of survival for our species. I know that sounds a bit alarmist, but whatever...

Also some extra correlation's between the limbic system and collective consciousness... Anecdotal cases have shown that twins can sense when something happens to their sibling. Of course they do. This is because we are all connected via the limbic system. Right now I am connected to every positive  and beautiful emotion in the universe. Thats pretty amazing! This is why I can write entire songs without thinking about it and it comes out perfect. It's because my limbic system wrote the song and was not influenced by the frontal lobe.
Also, another hypothesis:

The frontal lobe is a separate consciousness from the limbic system. The limbic system is good and the frontal lobe is evil. The frontal lobe keeps us here trapped in this hellscape and the limbic system wants to free us. There's always been a battle between good and evil from the very beginning. This is represented in all religions. Right now the collective consciousness that is the frontal lobe is winning against the limbic system but we can try to change the final outcome.

So I was thinking maybe the frontal lobe/evilness isn't necessarily a conscious entity but it might just be a very strong emotional type force that impedes the limbic system from fully realizing itself. I postulate that the frontal lobe acts in conjunction with the amygdala complex to then coordinate the actions of the parietal temporal and occipital lobes. This is why when people think to hard about an activity that requires fine motor movements or abstract thought flows, they screw it all up. An example would be using your frontal lobe to play the piano vs. your limbic system. I also postulate, as mentioned earlier, that all mental illness is in fact the actions of an overstimulated frontal lobe. For example schizophrenia is the frontal lobe in conjunction with the amygdala complex directing inappropriate information to the occipital; pyramidal complex and the temporal regions resulting in auditor and visual hallucinations. Also I would posit that alztheimers parkinsons and tourettes could very well in fact be the direction of motor movements through these terrible pathways. This is why music helps patients with alztheimers and tourettes, It's because the patient is using the limbic system to control the motor/sensory cortex lying within the parietal region!!!

‪Obviously all this leads to a postulation that dissociative hallucinations would in fact help everybody, not just patients suffering from mental illness, fully realize there true self!‬

Also consider how SSRIs act upon the brain. I'm just speculating here, but maybe the action of SSRIs in the controlling of depression and other disorders is the result of more serotonin receptor sites being located in the limbic region of the brain vs. the frontal lobes. This would cause the serotonin accumulation to act faster upon the frontal lobes which would cause initial anxiety and further the depressive state of the patient. But, when the accumulation in the receptor rich limbic region finally reaches an equilibrium it creates an anti-anxiety/depression effect.


‪So I'm also thinking that the frontal lobe was really created just for the purposes of fine tuning the thought patterns being generated by the limbic system. I think we can speculate that the evolutionary advantage of such an instrument could be beneficial the the passing of genes into the gene pool. Unfortunately we have taken what was supposed to be an instrument for fine tuning, and exploited its purposes in order to gain materialistic wealth. This has created an overall downward trend in the altruistic behaviorisms of the human species. ‬

If you look at nature, you find that man is the only mammalian species to kill there own kind. This is obvious and glaring evidence that there is something uniques about the brain makeup of the human species. This uniqueness can easily be deduced by figuring out the one difference that humans have from other species. That one difference is a matured and more developed frontal lobe!!!

‪Ok so here's some more thought. I'm thinking that every prophet from all the major religions was in fact tapped into the purest form of self. They all had an awakening and were prophesizing from there limbic system. When you think about it, Saddartha said that we all hold the true knowledge of reality and the universe in our minds. He knew exactly what was up. Lao Tzsu was saying exactly the same thing as was Jesus and Mohammed, praise be his name. I have a feeling that none of these prophets ever wanted to be worshipped in the way the currently are. They were basically messengers of the limbic system, or God, which is in all of us. We are all God. The frontal lobes of man are the ones that took their messages and tainted it with materialism.‬

Here's some interesting stuff. All religions are looking at the exact same God. When Moses was saying not to worship false idols he wasn't talking about other religions Gods, he was talking about not to worship wealth, and by association, the frontal lobe, which know I'm understanding as something that has become overstimulated. With its evolutionary advantage came a need to ensure that it wasn't overused. This also explains the Bibles description of original sin. When Jesus overthrew the bankers tables he was taking a visible stand against wealth. 

Also the Gnostics were the true followers of Jesus. They were the ones that were following his word right after his death. Interestingly, they didn't believe he was divine. Also, interestingly to note is their belief that we were trapped in these physical forms and our goal was a release from this and an escape back to the "godhead". This is the massive collective consciousness I was explaining earlier. The catholic church is the entity that decided to designate Jesus as divine. They were also using their frontal lobes in an effort to add a control mechanism to the people they ruled over. Jung understood all of this as he had also become fully aware the power of his limbic system. He said a lot of the stuff the gnostics spoke of. 

Man has taken a pure message from these prophets and turned it into something evil that has caused a lot of suffering in the world. All the prophets were buddhas, or awakened ones.

‪Theres a lot of experiment/investigations that can be run to potentially help add evidence to these theories.‬

‪Here's some potential evidence. I read once that doctors will sometimes give high dosages of cough syrup to sociopathic children. Think about that. If one were to become completely reliant on the frontal lobe and have absolutely no use of their limbic system they would display signs of what we call sociopathic. The DXM in cough syrup causes the limbic system to activate thus providing a better balance between the FL and LS.‬

Also if someone spoke from only their limbic system without impedance from the FL then prophetic words would just flow out of them as their connection to the universe is larger. 

Also I think that the amount of transmission received from the universe could have to do with how old that "soul" is. When we die, if we haven't achieved enlightenment, then we are "reincarnated" People who have more fulfilling lives, knowledge-wise, have a deeper and more clear transmission available to them from the universe. This is exactly what saddartha was saying.

Now obviously Im just drawing correlation's, and maybe there can be correlations for any theory and I'm just seeing these because its what I know. But who knows, maybe its not just that. I really have no idea. Just thought it was interesting food for thought.

While ascending to higher plateaus while on DXM (there are 4 plateaus and each one has a different effect. These plateaus are based on dosage), disassociation of the limbic system from the frontal lobe becomes more and more pronounced, eventually lending to the feeling that one has no body. This raises a logical line of thinking that the awareness of our body lies within the frontal lobe. A condition such as body dimorphic disorder is obviously a result of this aspect of the FL being over active. I suffered from this and now with my regular administration of DXM I am symptomless. This also can explain the reason for the evolution of the FL. It helped us with an awareness of our body so we could better navigate the world. Animals without such a developed FL mainly navigate the world based on instinct. This is their limbic system being fully activated. One can see the evolutionary advantage to the FL, but unfortunately it came at a cost.

Also sexual arousal is lessened as higher plateaus are reached, this also creates a line of thought that shows sexual arousal to lie within the FL. This is why humans along with dolphins are the only animals to have sexual intercourse for the purposes of pleasure. This also explains why some historical figures, who I have previously theorized had found the way to disassociate their FLs form their LS, were observed as being celibate. With a lack of stimulation to the FL there is no sexual drive. Animals only procreate based on their instinctual drive, This is do to an underdeveloped FL.

Basically, I'm hypothesizing here that DXM is a chemical way to create the same disassociation, and therefore the same awareness, that some of the previously mentioned historical figures seemingly may have accomplished.

I may be way off base here but I think its interesting food for thought nonetheless.
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Re: Disassociation and Mental Illness

Postby TheBuddha » Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:15 pm

Check out this thread:

Edited. Links to other sites are not allowed on the public forum. PM the member for the link
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Re: Disassociation and Mental Illness

Postby diemm » Sat Apr 20, 2013 8:40 am

Hello, "TheBuddha"
First, let me state that I hope my comment will be shorter than yours... but we'll see.
You have some interesting thoughts here... and so I venture to respond.
Once I looked at your 'article' and saw there weren't any comments on it, I wasn't really surprised.
You use terms that the "average Joe" doesn't, and the length of the comment is actually counter-productive as it seems most people on this site tend to prefer shorter, more understandable posts.
I venture to state that this one might be better served in a medical journal.

I wish to comment on just a few thoughts that I in particular found to be of interest.
I've unknowingly suffered from tourettes for the last 20 years of my life and recently found 75mg of DXM twice daily to completely resolve my symptoms. Since I was 10 I've had ticks (tics) and what I know understand was a fog wrapped around my mind. I always felt I was stupid and that I lacked any creative ability. For the last 2 weeks while taking the aforementioned dosage I have had a clarity of mind and creative energy that I never experienced before.

Now, this is an amazing situation if its true. I always say thank goodness for the miracles of modern science. I often wonder how scientists/doctors think to use different medications with such different, unassociated disorders and so often find success.
However, as this is so unique I want to ask... How could you have suffered from tourettes and NOT known? Further... how could those around you not have been aware of the disorder since its presents with such noticeable audio dysfunctions as well as movements? The fact that you are taking DXM and have presented with such remarkable results is astonishing... especially now since you are capable of accomplishing such extraordinary feats within only two short weeks.
You also mentioned that you were 'in a fog". This is incredible since you clearly have your faculties as you've explored and presented these various topics.

Here's another statement that you made that I wish to pursue...
If you look at nature, you find that man is the only mammalian species to kill there own kind. This is obvious and glaring evidence that there is something unique about the brain makeup of the human species.

Are you referring to murder here? As in premeditated? Or are you referring to angry killings without premeditation, such as in the heat of passion? I would like some clarification so as to have exact understanding of the intentions of your statement.

However, I beg to differ with your assertion. Here's why...

I own a magnificent DVD collection entitled "Planet Earth", produced by the BBC. There are multiple topics about nature and animals from all over the world... and if you haven't seen it, I recommend it. What I am getting at is this... one of the topics was filmed in the jungle.
There was a group of gorillas that resided in the area they were filming in, and they are well known by the locals to be highly territorial. That group of gorillas went to feed in another part of the jungle, still within the bounds of their territory.
While they were away, another group of the same kind of gorillas happened to be passing through.The invaders were in the canopy of the jungle feeding and vocalizing to each other. As they vocalized, they drew the attention of the group that resided there and they approached quietly to investigate. You could see the realization on their collective faces that they knew the intruders were there. All at once they congregated and organized an attack.
It was an extremely violent altercation... the entire group participated. They swiftly and quietly sneaked up on their prey. They suddenly and viciously climbed into the canopy screaming out as they climbed to confuse them, and they boldly attacked the invaders to force them away and to kill them in order to evict from the area. You could see their intent was to kill or maim every one. They overcame many, but the majority were able to escape with their lives.
However, one of the young ones wasn't quite so fortunate. They overcame and captured it. Then they killed it in a brutal fashion and they proceeded to rip it from limb to limb. The part that was disturbing to me was as they were ripping it apart they cannibalized it. The entire group was partaking in the eating this gorilla, some were presenting it to their partners, and the older ones were feeding it to the young.... All this despite the fact that they normally ate fruit, berries and vegetation. They consumed the young gorilla in its entirety, organs and all.
I theorize that that, In their way, they plotted the attack and capture... they planned the 'murder'.
I saw it happen.

The producers of this documentary consulted with the animal researchers in the area, and they were informed that it was unheard of that these gorillas would do such a thing, especially since they have strong social ties and an ability to think as evidenced in the planning.
This dramatic event replayed in my head as I read your post.
Of course,the killing wasn't to the degree that humans are capable of, but I feel that these things could also occur in other mammals as evidenced, due to starvation.
I don't think it would at all be unusual in view of "survival of the fittest."

Here's another excerpt I was also interested in...
When Jesus overthrew the bankers tables he was taking a visible stand against wealth.

When you continue to read that account it states that the aforementioned vendors were selling small animals intended for sacrifice to the poor, and they were taking advantage of and profiting from these transactions. Jesus took such a strong stand because there were so many poor that needed to purchase these animals due to necessity. Those animals weren't intended for consumption... they were needed to make sacrifices in the temple.
I agree in part with your assertion that he was taking a stand against wealth, but there was much more to the situation. Cheating and taking advantage of the less privileged was the real issue, and that's what he was trying to teach his disciples, the amorality of what they were perpetrating. They were corrupt, and that is why he made such a strong affront.

On a side note, there was another notable event that happened while they were there and it became another important teaching point that Jesus made.
He noticed a poor widow who dropped "a coin of very little value" into the contribution box.
He taught his disciples that her sacrifice was the greater one since she gave all she had, and would likely suffer due to her contribution.
He asserted that although the rich that day gave much more, it really didn't mean all that much because it came from their abundance... whereas he taught that she would be favorably looked on by their Heavenly Father because she gave it willingly and from her heart.

So... although there are many strong and interesting points that you made, these were the main ones that interested me, and I am glad for the opportunity to expound on your theories.
I hope you also find my points to be as interesting as I found yours to be.
Oh... I guess my comment is almost as long as yours is... :oops:
Good Luck and Good Mental Health to YOU
When we forgive, we free ourselves from the bitter ties that bind us to the ones that hurt us. - Claire Frazier-Yzaguirre

check out this inspirational link.. http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/about-nick/
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Re: Disassociation and Mental Illness

Postby masquerade » Sat Apr 20, 2013 12:09 pm

It was a very interesting article from a metaphysical viewpoint. Please remember, though, that the Board can't advocate self medication of this kind and that DXM and other cough medicines can be highly addictive and sometimes toxic.
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Re: Disassociation and Mental Illness

Postby TheBuddha » Sat Apr 20, 2013 3:17 pm

To Diemm, Thank you so much for your replay. I was also curious why no one had responded. I also posted this at religionforums and have gotten quiete a bit of feedback there. I'm glad you decided to discuss some of your thoughts on the post.

You are absolutely correct in pointing out my error and propagation of misinformation. That was not my intent as these writings were pretty much off the top of my head and most likely could have used a bit of editing. There are certain primates within the simian family that show territorial aggression but I think it is safe to assert, within the parameters of my theory of course, that the more developed frontal lobe of the se sub-species would give a due inference as to the role the frontal lobe happens to be playing in such emotive actions. While not as developed as homosapians FL it is nonetheless evolved quite a bit of function.

Regarding my Tourettes, I will briefly discuss how the symptoms played out and how I ultimately understood what was going on...
Firstly these realizations came to me a few weeks ago in the shower when I was thinking back on how I used to be, before my "clarity". Now that I'm clear headed I can recall things very easy and make abstract connections. This is not something I could do before.

All the way up until fifth grade I made straight A's and then suddenly I began getting C's and D'd. Also around this time I befriended a child who had recently been diagnosed with tourettes. They even did a segment on him on our local news channel, which all the students had to watch. Around this same time I came down with a case of chicken pox. I remembered a dateline investigation that documented some high school girls that suddenly began getting tourettes like tics, and also remember that they felt it might have been induced by a virus. I then remembered reading about a correlation between tourettes and the chicken pox virus. Interestingly at this same time I began getting tics. Of course at this age I didn't know what it was but did know it was abnormal and therefore felt ashamed and tried to suppress it. They came out as me having to turn my head over and over, touching the ground, moving objects and other things. I could control it in front of people and never told anyone about it. As I got older I thought it was OCD, but still didn't say anything, especially after I joined the Air Force since OCD is reason for an automatic medical discharge. Eventually I began getting severe social anxiety, general anxiety, clinical depression, suicidal ideation ,and bdd. If you navigate to the Mayoclinic or Johns Hopkins website on Tourettes you'll see that everything I just mentioned is indicative of tourettes. That's how I now know I had tourettes all these years.

As for the Jesus in the temple thing, I think that his overall reason still very well could have been taking a stand agains the evils of wealth in general. The reason he felt so good about the poor woman giving what she didnt have could have possibly been because she was using the most purest form of self, her limbic system and suppressing the desires of the frontal lobe. Obviously the anatomy, physiology, and terms were not know then, but since Jesus had tapped into that most pure essence of himself, he could prophesize from it, Same as the Buddha, Lao Tzu, Moses, and Mohammed, praise be his name. When moses was saying don't worship false idols he was speaking about the golden calf which I would assume represented wealth. He wasn't saying other peoples gods as he already know that everything pointed to the same thing.

Also one last thing, On the other Forum a poster mentioned a TED Talk from a neuroanatomist who had a stroke and felt a connection to a mass consciousness. This could very well be the same type of thin that DXM is doing; deactivating a portion of the frontal lobe that keeps us bound to the material world. Just like Buddha said we may have the true knowledge of the universe inside us. He was able to dissassociate his frontal lobe from his limbic system and look at what he preached afterwards!

-- Sat Apr 20, 2013 3:22 pm --

masquerade wrote:It was a very interesting article from a metaphysical viewpoint. Please remember, though, that the Board can't advocate self medication of this kind and that DXM and other cough medicines can be highly addictive and sometimes toxic.


I understand entirely I am not advocating anyone do what I did. I was at the lowest of lows and conducted a risk to benefit analysis and had absolutely no other option. Lucky for me it turned out positive. Also there is absolutely no known correlation, that I'm aware of, between physical dependence and cough syrup. Interestingly enough the psycho pharmaceutical industry is currently researching ketamine as the next anti-depressent. Now Ketamine and DXM are very similar molecularly and have very similar metabolites. I find this interesting because I can see how the pill pushers wouldn't be able to make a return on their investment with DXM since it's already mass produced. Whats even more interesting is that Ketamine DOES have addictive properties and DXM DOES NOT! Hmmm...
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Re: Disassociation and Mental Illness

Postby TheBuddha » Sat Apr 20, 2013 3:29 pm

Okay I'm going to try to make this my LAST LONG POST :D . I just wanted to give everyone an insight to my Plateau 4 experience. This is very important!!! I do not suggest anyone ever try this. As mentioned previously I did this after conducting my own risk benefit analysis and am pretty sure that most of you would not tally the same numbers that I did. Also note that I'm not going to be doing this again as it was a one time thing. Right now I've found dosages the resolve all my symptoms and dont induce any kind of "Trip". Nonetheless this is interesting food for thought, especially if you go back and read some of the theories I have postulated.


As for my plateau 4 experience, let me start by saying the amount I took was an accident and while I have heard of people taking this amount and even more I would not recommend it. I was kind of rushing when I was calculating the dosage and unknowingly took double the amount I meant to. Up to this point the most I had taken was 450mg and had some interesting plateau 2 and 3 experiences. With a desire to finally reach plateau 4 I meant to ingest 600mg but actually ended up taking 1200mg!

The trip started off pretty fast and I began feeling extremely hot. I went into the bathroom and upon looking in the mirror observed my face to be beet red as well as what looked like hives around my hair line. Confident that I was having an allergic reaction I made a mental plan to call 911 and ask to be rushed to a hospital. Of course at this point I'm thinking my throat is going to close up and I'm going to die of asphyxiation. Well, I calmed down a bit a grabbed my phone and even pre-dialed 911. I returned to my room and sat down on my bed. At this point my stomach began feeling extremely upset. I felt like I was going to vomit, but tried to suppress the feeling. By this time I was thoroughly regretting my ambitious decision to reach the highest levels of DXM tripping. I will be completely honest and admit that I did end up releasing some previously masticated and partially digested food stuffs.

After this time I began feeling a blanket of calmness cover me. I ventured up the stairs a couple of times and witnessed myself from an outside perspective. I eventually returned to my room and laid down on my bed. I had finally reached plateau 4! I closed my eyes and allowed the journey to commence unimpeded.

I recollect uttering the words, "I'm dead" over and over, and then began chanting "Thats okay, thats okay". As I laid in my bed with my eyes closed I remember that I suddenly did not have any recollection of who I was. At this point I had no body that I was aware of. Looking back on it now I know that at that moment I didn't even know what a body was. I had no memories at all but was still aware of self if that makes any sense. Self being my consciousness, a consciousness without form. I traveled to the mass consciousness that connects us all. A pure energy that radiated with beautiful lights. I felt the most profound sense of pleasure I have ever felt. There were no anxieties that normally plagued my mind. Just a feeling of complete contentedness and oneness with the universe. I felt that I was connect to every soul in the universe. Also let me note that up until this point I was an agnostic with leanings toward atheism. I was completely skeptical of anything spiritual.

For the next ten hours (I'm aware of the timeline due to documenting the time I took the dose, and also later documenting the time I was actually aware enough to look at the clock) I was "reborn". I use this term in as literal a sense that I can given the situation. I slowly had memories of my past inserted into my mind. I can recall my experiencing past events of my life. Vivid encounters with my mother when I was an infant. I could here her voice and feel her embrace. I felt the emotions that I had felt at that moment. This continued through my childhood, to my teenage years and into adult hood all the way up to the present.

Up to this point there was nothing but complete bliss and feelings of profound understanding. At one point I actually had to relearn whether I was a male or female. Then once I realized that I had male genitalia, I had to try to comprehend the act of copulation, as this seemed completely foreign to me. Eventually I felt a feeling that contrasted with the beautiful pure feeling I had, by this time, become so intimately familiar with. This was a feeling of anxiety. I felt it inserted into my mind as if it was a card being inserted into a rolodex.

So as time past I began coming back around and "normalizing". I stepped down from plateau 4 to plateau 3 and stayed there for about 12 hours! then I stepped down to plateau 2 and chilled there for another 5 hours. Then I parlayed on plateau 1 for a bit.

Thats my experience. It was pretty amazing and I will never ever ever forget it!
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Re: Disassociation and Mental Illness

Postby masquerade » Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:16 pm

TheBuddha, perhaps your experience with your accidental overdose of cough medicine would only confirm the dangers of self medicating in this way. This is a mental health support forum, with a large world wide readership. Some of our members and others who read the forum are vulnerable and impressionable people. Some of them may be tempted to imitate your actions, which could potentially be dangerous for them. Psychforums will not endorse the potential abuse of medication or self medication.

Please be aware of this when making your posts.

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Re: Disassociation and Mental Illness

Postby TheBuddha » Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:23 pm

I tried to make abundantly clear the dangers of doing what I did and attempted to relay the reasons for my actions. The "accident" could have ended very very badly, but I was lucky it didnt. Honestly I was at the point of having to choose between life and death anyway so for me I had no other option. This hopefully is not the case for anyone else and if it is then by no means do I suggest you use my line of analysis as that is only pertinent to myself based on the last thirty years of trying to come to terms with my mind. Everyone else has a different perspective and to think otherwise could lead to a terrible irreversible mistake.

I share this information as it provides some evidence to the theories I have previously postulated. Theories that I wold hope someone with a more fundamental understanding of the subject matter would be abel to weed through an dissect, hopefully adding extra knowledge into the pool of progress. That's my only intention and I apologize if it comes off differently. I mean no harm.
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Re: Disassociation and Mental Illness

Postby diemm » Sat Apr 20, 2013 8:09 pm

Hi again "TheBuddha"

I was happy to hear from you again as I find your experiences as well as your assertions and summaries most fascinating... it's what makes you unique... it 'makes you tick'.
I have a few more excerpts about your line of reasoning that have compelled me again to touch base with you. I assert that I am not a ''know it all"... nor am I implying that you are either.
We are simply having a lively and healthy interchange of thoughts... which I find stimulating.
AND, of course... that's why we're all here, isn't it?
You are absolutely correct in pointing out my error and propagation of misinformation. That was not my intent as these writings were pretty much off the top of my head and most likely could have used a bit of editing.

This isn't what I thought nor how I felt at all...
And I don't want you to feel that I thought you were propagating misinformation.
We all have our own views and beliefs of the world, and we are certainly free to our opinions and are free to openly discuss these things without fear of judgement.
As far as judgement goes, there may be some that would regard your comments that way, but I am not one that is judgmental, so you don' have to feel that way as far as I am concerned.
I am entirely open minded in every way.

Here is another point that I have somewhat differing views about:
When Moses was saying don't worship false idols he was speaking about the He wasn't saying other peoples gods as he already know that everything pointed to the same thing.

Yes indeed, I agree that the golden calf represented wealth.
As someone who grew up reading the bible, I also know the reasoning which led to Moses instructing the Israelites (as they were called in the Bible) to abstain from "worshipping" idols... the truth being they were actually prostrating on their hands and knees to perpetrate acts of worship to it. They were expecting and praying for divine truths from it... as well as seeking divine interceptions with God on their behalf. Of course, the idol was unable to think or act in their behalf because it was a manufactured item... and it had no ability to reason or intercede with God.

Moses had been away on the mountain praying to God and that's when he encountered the "burning bush" that was used by God as an attention getting vessel, and he remained there for quite a period of time... not just a day or two... He spoke to Moses at length. When Moses was finished and all things were finally resolved in his mind, he continued back down the mountain, and he flew into a rage as he confronted these absolutely unrepentant people. Moses had realized that "God's people" had regressed and their intentions were abhorrent... and Moses was so righteously indignant that he, and God, caused an earthquake to occur, essentially swallowing up these unrepentant people, so that they were no longer able to exert an influence on others of a purer heart and mind. Prior to this, they had perpetrated this behavior before coming to an accurate knowledge of who God was and Moses had likely taken quite a bit of time broadening their knowledge and understanding of what He expected from them.

During the extended time Moses was away, the Israelites must have felt they were abandoned to their own devices and so gathered all their gold to create the false god. He possibly could have felt that, as there was only one True God, the creator of the universe, that it was possible the people felt, as creators of the idol, that they were Godlike creators as well. (just an assumption)

The thing that most surely enraged him was the fact that he knew they knew better than to do these reprehensible acts from God's perspective, explaining why this was abhorrent to Him.
God had the right to expect exclusive devotion and that's what made Moses go off.
However, because of his extended trip onto the top of the mountain, they surely might have felt that Moses and God abandoned them, and so they reverted back to their previous behaviors... and surely he felt that their acts would in all probability continue, thereby sullying God's holy people... they were absolutely unrepentant, and would likely continue their unseemly behaviors. and this is what ultimately caused their swift and untimely destruction.


Here's another one of your points that left me fascinated...
They came out as me having to turn my head over and over, touching the ground, moving objects and other things. I could control it in front of people and never told anyone about it. As I got older I thought it was OCD

From what I understand, when you have OCD... I may be wrong, so I should do some research (I think now) so as to acquire a proper understanding... but I thought that with OCD, you were unable to control these behaviors... therefore using the terminology Obsessive Compulsive.
It is possible you didn't have OCD to the extent that many others do... I know in Mental Illnesses that there are varying degrees to which people suffer with these disorders.. so perhaps I suppose it was probable that you were able to supress your compulsions around other people.


As to the trip that you mentioned when you overdosed on DXM... I am not going to quote your words because it was such a lengthy explanation... however, I found your experiences fascinating because I had heard that people use DXM to get high... but i never really understood what it did to people that compulsed people to try it... as well as use and abuse it.
I had always assumed that it was the alcohol in it that compelled the kids to try it as they were underage and unable to acquire alcohol... and that they were using to get drunk.
I had absolutely no idea that you you could actually trip on it.
The out of body experience that you seemed to have, your explanation of it, as well as the length of time that you were high surprised me to a great degree.
You must have been very fearful until you realized it wasn't going to kill you... and only at that point you were able to tap into your head and come to many realizations and conclusions.

Anyway, once again, I am submitting another lengthy comment, but your comment was so noteworthy that I was compelled to express my thoughts as well.
Once again, it was good exchanging thoughts, and I will look forward to it again.

So once again I say... in conclusion...
GOOD LUCK AND GOOD MENTAL HEALTH.
When we forgive, we free ourselves from the bitter ties that bind us to the ones that hurt us. - Claire Frazier-Yzaguirre

check out this inspirational link.. http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/about-nick/
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diemm
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