Hi I am new here. I have been living with this for almost 6 years. My husband has progressed to the point now that we can no longer have a conversation with him, he has quit his job (that one hurts, we have 2 kids in college right now) and we can't associate with anyone or bring anyone to the house. Our daughters don't bring their bf's or any friends to the house because they are afraid of what he will say or do. He has written letters to the white house, the newspapers, etc. he believes that he has a bug his tooth th at is connected to a camera in his eye so he walks around sometimes with tape over his eye, he also believes there is something in his ear, his knee and at various times in other body parts. He believes that everyone in the country is involved, including me, will wake me up at night screaming about my involvement, asking who I am giving the information to, do I know when it will end, etc. He is making me nuts!. The problem is that when you have loved someone for 27 years and know that they are sick, it is very hard to turn your back on them, especially when you are afraid of what will happen to them if they are alone. I am so afraid that if he loses me that he will hurt himself because he constantly says that the only thing keeping him together is me. This is of course when he is not accusing me. The other thing is that when he has these screaming episodes, I swear that he does not remember what he says and does. It is very hard and very frustrating. He refuses the look for another job because he says that the voices in his head told him that the spies will not allow him to get another one.
It is helpful sometimes to know that you are not alone, even though it is horrible to think that another person is living the same thing. But when you are living with this, you just feel so alone and isolated it is a very miserable life.
Sorry to vent, had to get it out, You just can't really talk about it a lot you know what I mean. The other frustrating thing is that they can appear perfectly normal to other people so you seem like the crazy person.