I don't like saying that I have a mental disorder when I don't. You know, when people will say things like, "Omg, she's so bipolar" when really they have no idea what bipolar disorder really is? But last summer, I WAS a hypochondriac. It appeared out of NOWHERE, set up camp for a few months, and then slowly disappeared completely (well, almost completely). There I was, minding my own business, when BAM.... I had lyme disease. I was watching House and noticed that the patient had a similar rash to the one on my leg. He ended up being diagnosed with lyme disease.... so I researched it. Within a few weeks, my whole family was convinced I had it. I started to experience the symptoms more intensely. And while I was waiting for the test results to come back, I developed more diseases. First it was ovarion cancer... so I got an ultrasound. No cancer. Then it was lymphoma. I had a bump on the back of my neck which was a swollem lymph node. I was POSITIVE I was dying, I practically started saying goodbye to my friends. I had to leave school in the middle of the day (bawling my eyes out) and go to the doctor. My mom and I were in the waiting room, me crying and hyperventilating, her reading a magazine. I started to feel guilty for being sick because my mom didn't believe it and I knew she would completely break down when she found out what I KNEW. The doctor felt the bump and told me that it was a swollen lymph node, but it was nothing to worry about. A week later, it was gone. Then I had heart disease. I would concentrate on my breathing to the point where I was breathing consciously 24 hours a day. I would take my pulse every 10 minutes. I tried to make my mom take me to the hospital because I thought I was taking a heart attack. I got an EKG, my heart was fine. Then came lung cancer. I started coughing constantly (which I later found out was due to post nasal drip) and I had dark spots on my chest (which were do to a hormonal imbalance, because I DO have a lot of real issues that aren't life-threatening). I went to the doctor crying again, so she reluctantly sent me for a chest xray just to calm me down. No lung cancer. While all of this was going on, I lost 50lbs (I am overweight to begin with, so losing that much was a good thing LOL). I didn't want to eat. I stayed by my mom's side CONSTANTLY. If I was alone, I'd freak out. I would constantly need my mom's reassurance that I wasn't dying. I couldn't enjoy anything because was preoccupied with dying. I tried to prepare myself for the bad news. And maybe you're thinking I did this for attention. But I didn't. At least not consciously. It was a HORRIBLE experience and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The anxiety was taking over my life. I tried sooo hard to think rationally, but nothing worked. I was so scared of dying, that I started wanting to die. Then the anxiety slowly started to disappear. I still get anxiety when I watch shows like The Doctors, so my family knows to change the channel when I walk in the room. I also hate it when people talk about cancer and stuff. So I avoid all of the things that trigger my hypochondria, and I'm doing fine now. But, could it really be hypochondria? I mean, can hypochondria just appear like that and then go away? I worry every day that it is going to creep up on me and make me as miserable as I was before.
P.S. I wouldn't say I have an anxiety disorder. I mean, I am prone to anxiety... I always have been. When I was a child I had separation anxiety. And even now, I will sometimes have my weeks where I am VERY anxious for some reason. But I don't need to be on medication and it doesn't take over my life.
P.P.S. I never had lyme disease.
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