Britishperson wrote:Thanks, your srory sounds similar to mine it being long distance, thinking moving closer will help...I wish you had more good news lol
You're welcome. Yes our stories are often related. You have studied your exes behavior, came here for a reason, and I'm confident you will continue to study.
Do not let your ex or anyone invalidate your experiences. No matter who they are or seem to be.
Britishperson wrote:Aren't there any stories of people with histrionic disorder getting better?
Sure, there are stories of people being cured of cancer too. The adverse odds and statistics weren't written by any of us here; however, research them yourself and see what the odds are. By all means do not take the forums word for it.
Big C wrote:Yes. There are a couple here. You could also win the lottery. the odds are about the same.
In my opinon British, I have never seen or witnessed a cured Hpd, but I have seen them adapt. I say this to you for
your sake, if she is Hpd. Here on the forums, or on youtube (anywhere where you cannot meet the Hpd or know people who know them in real life), in my opinion is not a reliable standard to change my opinion.
If they are cured, good!
As nons, it isn't our job to cure them, and I feel that the exausted state of mind you mentioned earlier will enhace ten fold if you get sucked into the process of trying to understand or help her.
It was Millon who wrote that of all axis two pd's, it was the Hpd who is most likely to still prefer herself an Hpd due to their use of illnesses to manufacture supply, and that it makes therapy even more difficult to treat someone who refuses to acknoweledge a cure.
In contrast some Bpd's, however, have gotten cured and openly have no problem admitting it. So maybe you could urge her to see a therapist? If she is certain she isn't Hpd, then what does she have to lose in getting a test? Especially since you said she is willing to work with you?
There must be some happy stories of things working out out there?
Things working out?
First let's assume you think there is a problem. That is the first stepping stone required for anyone to experience its solution. However in this case, some will invalidate your ability to determine if there is a problem (even her my minimizing it. like she admits she is selfish but not willing to admit she fits the criteria of "x") because you don't have two Doctorate Degrees in the field you are trying to determine the problem in, and because you don't have 25 years of experience (yes I'm exaggerating a little. It does get tedious though
). So let's address this first:
Layman's terms are one thing (what we say here a lot or what you see in the symptoms and traits of hpd thread), but the shrinks use advaced scoring systems and methods of therapy. The thing is both roads usually lead to the same conclusion as far as the identification process of a pd entails and if they get better through treatment (Whether you're a Dr. Million or a Joe Blow).
For example you know you have a sinus infection (layman's terms of common sense). It is the Doctor's job, however, who runs a culture to decide what type of bacteria is causing the infection, what type of anti-biotics are best to treat it, what the bacteria is resistant to, and what allergies the patient has (the professional way of doing it). Yet the process of the Doctor and the layman
to identify the sinus infection is quite basic (yellow drainage dripping from nose. headache, earache, can't breathe through nose. really isn't too hard to indentify any illness, because that is what illnesses do: Manifest themselves through traits and symptoms. Even the Doctor will ask you what symptoms have you been having
) and isn't as sophisticated as some would mislead you to believe through invalidation tactics.
As far as things getting better. A quick run down of the basic forms of therapy they may use (I am assuming you did do your homework, came here for a reason, and that her behavior was a match with what you've read about Hpd. I'm also taking her own admission of being selfish and overreacting at face value. Just like a Doctor would take at face value ones own admission for saying they had pain in a certain area) is CBT/DBT (do some research if you like on it).
Everyone here knows this, for the most part. However, my take is those forms of therapy are outdated as more modern forms of therapy are becoming popular in treating axis 1, and 2 pd's. Surprisingly, I have not seen them mentioned here, even by the pd's in treatment
.
For instance The Structural Analysis of Social Behavior (SASB), I have not seen mentioned here, nor the integration of SASB Internal Modifiers into the pd's introject (self-systems), and this is to only touch the surface of the more cutting edge systems being used to deal with pd's within a professional context (not the cookie cutter CBT/DBT models of therapy).
If you do go through therapy, make sure the person is well acquianted with pd's before you go. I'd recommend researching the SASB more if the relationship or the potential pd goes into therapy because it provides:
Clear guidlines that can be used by the practicioner
Causal determinants
Driving Axis 1 or Axis 2 pd's
Intrapersonal or Interpersonal dynamics
A Powerful Impact On Psychiatric Diagnosis
Now, Bristish, hopefully you won't need to get that far and get into a win/win relationship with someone else.
PS. You already know I am not giving you medical advice. My advice is, especially if you do go to theapy and she really is a pd, is to get out ASAP. If she isn't pd, but is selfish, emotionally draining, and overreacting. Plus telling you how to express your feelings (be gentle when you tell her she's being emotionally rough
), my advice is to run,
run, run!
You seem to want to help her, though, and to try to save the relationship, so I went into some extra facts you may wish to research that tie into some treatment options along with a very predictable Prognosis.
One thing for certain, if you take emotional abuse lightly and undermine your own concerns, there
will be hysteria. Gobs and gobs of it!
All the best.