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Cybersex addiction and HPD

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Re: Cybersex addiction and HPD

Postby xdude » Fri Feb 24, 2012 4:25 pm

makinglemonade -

I found the book enlightening. A summary can be found here :

http://www.cassiopaea.com/cassiopaea/ps ... othing.htm
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Re: Cybersex addiction and HPD

Postby thisislabor » Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:37 pm

Two Basic Types of Aggression
There are two basic types of aggression: overt-aggression and covert-aggression. When you're determined to have something and you're open, direct and obvious in your manner of fighting, your behavior is best labeled overtly aggressive. When you're out to "win," dominate or control, but are subtle, underhanded or deceptive enough to hide your true intentions, your behavior is most appropriately labeled covertly aggressive. Now, avoiding any overt display of aggression while simultaneously intimidating others into giving you what you want is a powerfully manipulative maneuver. That's why covert-aggression is most often the vehicle for interpersonal manipulation.



This is too abstract to be labeled or used within any reasonable manner - your going to have to give examplification of how this is "negative" aggressive behavior. This article more leads to saying that "there is aggression" there and we are looking for it - and here is the proof. This is not useful. This is akin to saying, guilty tell proven innocent.

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Re: Cybersex addiction and HPD

Postby xdude » Sat Feb 25, 2012 1:21 pm

labor -

The book is full of examples, from sessions with real-life couples (names changed of course). That was just a link to an article that covers some key points.

One thing he doesn't mention in his book, but from my observations in my own life, a common thinking pattern among aggressive types is that they feel it's their right to decide for others what is/isn't okay. They don't ask, and don't really want to know what others think is hurtful/aggressive, since that would mean maybe actually needing to feel guilty. Instead they simply decide what others should feel and then act on it or manipulate them into what they want. It's aggression because what they want comes at another person's painful expense.

So when you read the stories, it's the one in the relationship who is hurt that defines the interaction as 'aggressive' - if it was up to the aggressor to decide what is/isn't okay for others there would be no book.
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Re: Cybersex addiction and HPD

Postby thisislabor » Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:19 pm

xdude wrote:So when you read the stories, it's the one in the relationship who is hurt that defines the interaction as 'aggressive' - if it was up to the aggressor to decide what is/isn't okay for others there would be no book.


well at least now we are back to making sense again.

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