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Histrionic claims to be animal lover

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Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby tenderheart » Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:34 am

My HPD sister claims to love animals. Is this just attention seeking or could she have real empathy for animals?

On one hand, she cries and makes a fuss when she sees an abandoned animal. I've often thought these outbursts seemed overdone. She has two dogs that she has abandoned to my parents several times and most recently for 9 months to chase various men across the country and world. She seemed more interested in them as puppies but lost interest as time went on.

She became a vegetarian a few years ago after claiming to be very upset by a video of factory farms (and her boyfriend at the time was a vegetarian). Mirroring? She goes hysterical if somebody orders veal and writes long rambling posts about foie gras.

Is it possible she does have empathy for animals but fails to be able to commit to her own pets? She did seem to care for animals even at a younger age. Is this all attention seeking?

Anyone have similar experiences?
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Re: Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby Cpt » Tue Jul 26, 2011 2:19 pm

I know that ESFP personality types correlate with HPD, and that ESFP people identify with children and animals. I know that mine does. This could be part of the REAL personality coming out. I know a lot of HPDs feel like they dont even have a personality, but I think its because ESFP's have a weak sense of self to begin with and a PD just compounds that. ESFP itself can be a robust personality type. Think of a typical extroverted HPD minus the chronic, indiscriminate attention seeking/flirting, emotional imbalances, and lack of empathy. The rest of the HPD traits overlap with ESFP traits.
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Re: Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby TatteredKnight » Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:08 pm

She probably does honestly love animals (just like she honestly loves the current man in her life), they just don't remain real to her once out of sight. A common cluster-B trait is "lack of object constancy", which means that to some degree, things are literally 'out of sight, out of mind' for her. When she's patting a stray cat, she truly does care for it. Then again, when she's off with her boyfriend, her pet puppy only exists to her in the most abstract way.

I think a lot of people confuse HPD's emotional lability with the faked feelings and lack of empathy that can come with NPD. In my experience, people with HPD feel things as strongly as anyone, it's just that the feelings don't necessarily last as long.
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Re: Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby expressivecreative » Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:47 pm

+1 to literally everything tattered knight just said (and especially the last part - THANK YOU for that). I love animals and am also a vegetarian, but I'm not very good at caring for my animals (I have cats). I won't spend a lot of money on them at the vet, for example, and I don't spend a lot of time petting them, although they don't seem to mind. I had a dog once and I rather coldly gave her to a no-kill animal shelter because she caused trouble with my neighbors, chewed things, and lied on the couch and beds (leaving messes of hair). I have children and have a lot of other responsibilities, and the dog was just too much to care for.

I always wondered about my ex NPD's affection for his cat. He really seemed to like animals, but was otherwise so devoid of emotion that I remember asking him, 3 months into the "honeymoon period" of our relationship, "Do you have ANY feelings at all?" He was one of the coldest people I've ever met, but he would stop, every time he entered his apartment, and pet the cat for an extensive period of time to greet her. I remember him once not traveling because he couldn't find an appropriate pet-sitter and refused a kennel because it wasn't good enough for his cat. Maybe he loved the cat because it couldn't talk? :lol: I know that sounds funny, but I'm totally serious. Constant supply that can't disagree with you?
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Re: Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby tenderheart » Tue Jul 26, 2011 4:19 pm

I agree with you about that last part expressivecreative about animals not talking and being good supply. I've thought before that people who avoid intimacy with other people can attain it more easily with pets. Pets don't say "why did you leave me?" Pets don't make demands and dogs have instincts to treat their owner as the pack leader, no conflict there with the HPD. I've noticed with myself too that I can really relate to my dog and lean on him especially when my relationships with people get tough.

My dog definitely seems to have more empathy than my HPD sister. When I am down, he seems to sense it and comes over to me to cuddle and licks my face. Not so much with my sister who minimizes my problems and then makes me feel guilty for wasting her time!
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Re: Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby Wonderer7 » Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:39 pm

My sister loves her cat as she says, but only to mistreat it, because she finds it cute when the cat gets angry, it is the only way she shows her sadic love for that cat. On the other hand, she will never mistreat the dog, because she does not want to hurt the dog, while she claims to like the cat more. I think her love for the dog is more sincere., while she likes the cat as an object, some cute thing.
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Re: Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby orion13213 » Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:16 am

Explained by HPD 'shallow think,' as vocalized in the vague speach, demonstrating the lack of Intellect? (i.e., lesser capacity for details and less critical thinking)

For example, one probable HPD's affection seems to involve doey-eyed baby animals. Ergo the rxn to deer hunting "how can you kill and eat those animals? (but I explain it's the wise old bucks that we try to hunt and they are older, crusty, and nasty to their own kind). While she protests all the while with knife and fork in hand, the chicken nuggets are carved up and eaten. I''m not a vegetarian, but obviously it takes discipline - I have never met a vegan HPD, but there might be some out there. When asked where the chicken nuggets came from ("do they have chicken nugget bushes?") she turned away, not wanting to hear the details of poultry raising in chicken pens and lots.

This was a real conversation I had...it seemed like it's not the act of hunting, rather it was the REAL DETAILS of commercial animal husbandry behind the mass consumption of animal flesh and the COMPLEX moral questions involved in animal rights that turned her off.

Still, I, the over rational male Non, have to say admired her emotional passion: she genuinely identified with the animal victims.
Models and arguments based on emotional thought seem very important to HPD's, since they seem to have little or no capacity for rational thought and logic- interestingly enough this is typically more of the stronghold of the co-dependent male Non.

It seems like the perfect yin/yang kind of symbiotic relationship, no? :lol:
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Re: Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby ksm » Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:54 am

My HPD x-dil "loved" animals. Seems like she would rescue animals... but then not have the follow thru to actually feed them, walk them, and never clean up after them. She would move and then have to find "homes" for the pets "just until she could find a place to live" that allowed pets. Hmmm... She farmed out 4 children and even more pets, and alienated all that tried to help her. KSM
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Re: Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby TadLock » Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:15 am

tenderheart wrote:My HPD sister claims to love animals. Is this just attention seeking or could she have real empathy for animals?

On one hand, she cries and makes a fuss when she sees an abandoned animal. I've often thought these outbursts seemed overdone. She has two dogs that she has abandoned to my parents several times and most recently for 9 months to chase various men across the country and world. She seemed more interested in them as puppies but lost interest as time went on.

She became a vegetarian a few years ago after claiming to be very upset by a video of factory farms (and her boyfriend at the time was a vegetarian). Mirroring? She goes hysterical if somebody orders veal and writes long rambling posts about foie gras.

Is it possible she does have empathy for animals but fails to be able to commit to her own pets? She did seem to care for animals even at a younger age. Is this all attention seeking?

Anyone have similar experiences?


I believe it is highly possible she has empathy for animals. My ex had greater empathy for animals than she did the people who loved her :( . Dr. Shari Schreiber also speaks about how they treat animals better than people. Look her up and read her articles.
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Re: Histrionic claims to be animal lover

Postby goodbyenormajean » Sat Jul 30, 2011 12:28 am

Orion wrote "demonstrating lack of intellect". I say BOO! Party foul! That is unnecessary roughness!! Also, I am a cat lover, as are many other women I know!
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