masquerade wrote:It is all part of a spectrum, with ASPD being at the extreme end, followed by NPD, BPD and HPD in that order. They key to beating all of these disorders is EMPATHY and taking RESPONSIBILITY for one's actions. When one does this with sincerity, remorse follows.
The person may cry tears of apparent remorse, and feel as if they emotionally mean it, but these will only be tears of guilt (which is different to remorse, and very damaging) unless they genuinely put themselves in the shoes of the people they have hurt, without dramatic sentimentality, they cannot and will not change.
Wow, what an awesome post. I wish Hs could realize <i>empathy</i> is the key. Treating others like we want to be treated is the basis for everything. For an H, it's the way to get real attention, not extorted attention (which leads to the non feeling hurt, and the H not understanding, and the cycle continuing).
I can especially relate to the bolded part. I've talked to my friend about her apparent lack of empathy a few years ago. Since then, she goes more out of her way to try and prove she feels things for others. But, it's not the same. It's like she knows she should feel something, and can make herself feel something. But, it's more of an emotion, not a genuine feeling of what that person feels.
Her examples tend to be about people she's not involved with. Like, a story about a woman losing her house. My friend will say "I can understand what that must feel like, losing her home and her pets, and living on the street with no posessions... it makes me cry." But, all that is about material
things. And, it's just an emotion she can conjure up about an event she's not an actor in. It's like she's trying, but doesn't understand what empathy is. Truly feeling how your actions affect another person
. True, unashamed, deep remorse for causing a person to feel something you wouldn't want to feel. To be the sole reason for that. Not that the other person lost material things -- but that they felt
hurt, betrayed, disappointed, etc.