treetop wrote: I don't think her mom is a narcissist, but I do think her mom is extremely co-dependent
It would be interesting to hear the views of others about what the specific differences are between a co-dependent person and a narcissist. Look at the control patterns for the co-dependent:
* I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
* I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
* I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
* I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
* I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
* I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
* I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.
* I demand that my needs be met by others.
* I use charm and charisma to convince others of my capacity to be caring and compassionate.
* I use blame and shame to emotionally exploit others.
* I refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.
* I adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes.
* I use terms of recovery in an attempt to control the behavior of others.
* I pretend to agree with others to get what I want.
Do those above traits sound like someone whom you'd want to be in a relationship with?
Of course, they have a lot of other awful behavior patterns to go with the above bit. Dr. Sam...as a somewhat watered down thread in the NPD forum touched upon, is a big believer in Reverse Narcissism (according to him, though, it is Inverted Narcissism
). Anyway, in a nutshell the definition of an Inverted Narcissist could be a co-dependent...as you can briefly see here:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency
The doctrine is always clear that a co-dependent need not be a narcissist (or reverse narcissist).
Anyway, the downside to the term co-dependency is that most are of the belief it comes from AA (and some may not think Alcoholics are qualified to coin psychological conditions and sub-types of personality disorders).
I bring this up, Treetop, as I felt your post indirectly makes the connection of co-dependency of narcissism.
Some time ago I was engaged in a chat about this with a psychologist of somewhat high status, and he said something like:
"If you believe in the characteristics of co-dependency and how a co-dependent functions in a relationship, what difference does it make if they are cluster b or not? RUN-"
orion8591 wrote:"Princess" is a role and identity manuever created by a narcissisitic parent who doesn't respect the personal boundaries of their child, a parent who often wants to use the child to live through, or to project aggression at another through.
That is a very interesting way to look at it. I guess I never really thought of the role (to the extent disordered behavior may be a factor with the parents) the parent played in the whole ordeal.
I mainly focused on the woman in front of me with the irritating princess complex. I always want to ask them what country they have their royal heritage in