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Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

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Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby Tekhed » Sat Jan 15, 2011 2:20 pm

I have two friends who I’ve always suspected have a PD. One of them has been diagnosed and the other has been suspect for years. Anyway, one thing I’ve noticed is that both seem to talk excessively, often changing topics before I even get a chance to comment.

There have been too many times (almost every conversation) where the other will talk for 25 minutes straight without allowing me to say one word…literally they will run sentences into one another.

Normal conversations include rest periods where one party will wait for the other comment, but not with these folks. I’ve dated girls that talk a lot, but what I’m describing is far beyond that.

Has anyone ever noticed this with any PD? In all of my reading, this has never been mentioned.
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Re: Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby okherewego212 » Sat Jan 15, 2011 2:47 pm

Yes...it is a common trait of disorders, and my understanding more related to NPD traits, than any other. NPD's and disorders are based on being very self centred or selffish. It is common with those that suffer from low self esteem, as well. It would be common in some HPD's types, due to thier attention seeking, "centre of attention" and self centreness. Thus the need to dominate conversations.

Again, self centredness is a common theme/symptom among many with disorders.

It is my understanding from what I read anyway and have even witnessed here on the forum. I believe I read it in a few spots and on the shrink4men site.

My ex, though didn't display the conversation part of the self centredness, but was self centered/selffish, never the less. I assume it has to do with the person's underlying personality, and how extreme they do it. Not all are the same, but understand,this is common.

Just my opinion.
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Re: Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby Tekhed » Sat Jan 15, 2011 3:10 pm

Okay...that's funny that you mention NPD related to it. One of my friends is excessively NPD (it's really bad). I'm starting to notice this only with specific people...the talking is ridiculous. I'm always amazed how they mix one topic into the next without ever wondering what the other party's thoughts are. LOL...cool. Thanx.
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Re: Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby okherewego212 » Sat Jan 15, 2011 3:16 pm

Hey Tekhed,

Just keep inviting a person to dinner, with your other friends. If they are disordered, than see what happens over time. You will probably not ever invite them back, because no one else, would get a word in edge wise!

Yes, dominating conversations is definately a tell tale sign somethings up.Too me, a biggest red flag, when first getting to know someone! lol
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Re: Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby tenderisthenight » Sat Jan 15, 2011 9:53 pm

I've noticed this with people I know, and who I suspect, are Bi-polar. Though it may be hard to decipher mania from a grandiose display in a single conversation; however, once you get to know the person, for me at least, I find it easy to decide if they're a self-centered narcissist or manic. Anyways, the bi-polar girl who is a friend on mine will constantly talk and have an opinion on anything that's being said and she'll just go on and on about any given topic.
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Re: Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby StrugglingHPD » Sun Jan 16, 2011 1:52 am

I always think of a friend from high school who could talk CONSTANTLY for quite a while without regard to anyone else's thoughts. She had bipolar disorder, along with a family history of it. She actually had serious mental issues that became evident by the time we were in maybe 10th grade. Nutcase by senior year.
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Re: Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby Scarlett1939 » Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:54 am

I might be able to shed a little light on this, although I don' feel this is isolated to PDs only.

I read two books years ago.

Adult Children of Alcoholics and Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families. Now back then I don't remember it discussing that this would cause PDs in people but its been about 15 years since I read them when I was in college.

In this it discribes the four outcomes (personalities) as an end result of having an alcoholic or dysfunctional parents as your parent.

The children will often turn out as the following:

The REBEL
THE HERO
THE FORGOTTEN CHILD
THE CLOWN

WHAT is ironic about this, is that my siblings and I ended up with these same personality traits and IN THAT EXACT ORDER. I am the 2nd child and I was THE HERO in anything and everything I could be in for the first reason was to get out of the house and school and activities were my only option, and the other reason is for praise. I played ball, cheerleader, plays, singing etc. I excelled at everything.

Each of these traits of the children develope as to take the attention off of the actual dysfunctional person/people. We became the scapegoats. It made so much sense to me that we ended up the way we did as a result of alcohol and dysfunction.

BUT... one thing I will never forget is when one talks excessively coming from dysfunction/alcoholic is that they talk excessively because WE CAN'T HANDLE THE SILENCE. In a dysfunctional household when things were good they turned bad in the drop of a hat. The books tell it as we consider the silence the CALM BEFORE THE STORM so we fear that if we don't FILL IN THE GAPS of silence that the storm is going to blow up soon. Even if it has been years for me, occasionally I do this. BUT, I have learned to control that. Now when I tell a story, I am lengthy and very detailed, but talking out of turn is not something that I do or being rude to dominate the other one.

I thought this helpful for anyone who hasn't read these books, it helps to know why some won't stop talking.

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Re: Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby Tekhed » Mon Jan 17, 2011 3:14 am

Hi Scarlett,

Every day I’m on this board I feel like I’m learning something new. I’ve never heard of the archetypes you mentioned (Rebel, Hero, Forgotten Child, and Clown), but it makes sense after you explained it. Naturally children tend to take on a slightly different status within the relationship between the siblings, but within a dysfunctional family unit I can see how this would be more enhanced or sensitive.

I’ll have to go check out these books.

I imagine that PDs are not necessarily the only ones susceptible to this model, but I can see where any dysfunctional family runs an increased risk of the children developing some really bad problems.
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Re: Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby Scarlett1939 » Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:24 am

Hi Tekhed,

Oh these two books helped me a lot. My manager of the pizza place I worked with let me borrow them as we had similar upbringings. They helped me to really know WHY I was the way I was, and to learn about my behaviors. Like I've said to others on here I knew something was wrong WAY back when, but just didn't have a name for it.

I am a fixer, and like to fix myself, and perfect myself. Not to be PERFECT, but just to always better myself. This is with most anything. I don't like to just take it lying down when an illness or problem comes up. I will research for hours and hours until I get my answer. This can be with medical or personal, or just life expectations. I love to learn.

But these books go into detail about the four personalities. You really should get them or see if they are available for download. I think I might try to find them myself and re-read them and perhaps it will refresh my memory and help me with other things that I think about now and also now that I'm living in that type of mindset anymore.

I think you will find those interesting, and very enlightening.
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Re: Excessive Talking...Manic Phase?

Postby thisislabor » Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:06 am

I am going to just quickly address scarletts comment and I'll be back later. I think you are right about the order of the children developing under alcoholics. that actually sounds like us kids (if I didn't know anything about personality disorders) and my parents who have always been drinking as long as I have known them....
When the time comes there will not be enough people to bury the dead.
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