confused44 wrote:.....yet how to break up so he won't come back with this emotional manipulation?
confused44 wrote:I feel like I'm hurting an innocent human being, and it makes me feel bad
teche25 wrote:confused44 wrote:.....yet how to break up so he won't come back with this emotional manipulation?
There is no form of breakup that will end the emotional manipulation. Manipulating their "prey" is their entire goal. The best advice any of us can give you is NO COMMUNICATION AT ALL- WHATSOEVER. If he calls, answer, sound very preoccupied and swiftly end the call. If he shows up in person, don't allow him through the door, pretend you're on your way out (even if you have to get into your car and drive away). If you think about it long enough, you can up with all sorts of different ways to avoid him. However, you must remain on guard. Many of us have experienced the HPD's quick and sudden mood change from repentant, adorer to batsh!t crazy anger. You may have to endure the angry viper for awhile, but only until he finds his next prey.confused44 wrote:I feel like I'm hurting an innocent human being, and it makes me feel bad
That is exactly how he wants you to feel - BAD! It's the infantile trait of the HPD. Deep down he wants you to "Mother" him as if he were an innocent wittle baby boy [sarcasm intended]. It's all part of their manipulation. Once he starts to sense your indifference, you'll hear from him less and less.
A thought just occurred to me: A healthy, normal and responsible adult wouldn't have a clue as to how to manipulate someone, least of all someone they claim to love.
confused44 wrote: how long do i have to do this for? So far the more I pull away the harder he tries...
confused44 wrote:will he break in and get crazy? Do Histrionics get like that? Not that he ever got violent with me he is a police officer, so things could get 'difficult' if he was ever going to do that....
confused44 wrote:what if he is sincere, doesn't know he made mistakes, and really suffers????" awww
Thank you for your reply...i do have one more question: how long do i have to do this for? So far the more I pull away the harder he tries...i was able to avoid contact (not picking up the phone) for 2 days, and it got worse....nonstop calls, texts, i wouldn't respond, when he saw that this doesn't work he would drive to my place (1 hour away) and sit in front of my house crying...I couldn't leave him like this....I would start feeling very guilty for making him act like this, thinking he must be suffering terribly...
MyWave wrote:Seriously, the best way to break up with them is to hold them accountable. Call them on everytime they mess up. Be critical of the irresponsibility to the relationship. Set boundaries....In other words show yourself and him you are no longer accepting his BS and your now committed to valuing and taking proper care of yourself...
This will sadden and then infuriate the HPD. They want you around as long as your not too much of a 'Problem' for them. Once you begin to become a 'problem' (call them on their stuff, demand accountability, question their obvious lies ect) they will then begin the process of finding new supply, then devalue you, and eventually blameshift and leave.
As Dr. Carver so brilliantly put it. We are like 300.00 dollar cars to them. If we are running good and present no problems, they will keep using us. If the car begins to have problems and the repairs begin to pile up, they will get rid of us in a flash...just as soon as they find the next 300 dollar car...
Be easy with yourself and calm your worries...your HPD simply isn't worth ruining your well being over
all the best
I just can't deal with this, I can't watch him suffer like that in front of my eyes (even though i know its an act....), and reject him
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