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HPD men

Histrionic Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

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Forum rules
Attention Please. You are entering the Histrionic Personality Disorder forum. Please read this carefully.

Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of HPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non HP readers. Discussions related to HPD behavior are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging or encouraging these urges is not what this forum is intended for.

Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse from HPDs. .
Non HPD users are welcome to post here, But their questions Must have a respectful tone.
If you are a NON and have issues with an past relationship with an HPD person, it is suggested that you Post in a Relationship forum. Here is a link to that forum: relationship/

For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.

Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.

Best Regards,
The Team

Re: HPD men

Postby A little Wisernow » Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:29 pm

the temper tantrums would come out AFTER he has the supply secure, but wants to make her do something....


Both female and male HPD's use temper tantrums on their main victim, uh I mean "soulmate".........haha
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Re: HPD men

Postby Balderdash » Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:34 pm

A little Wisernow wrote:the temper tantrums would come out AFTER he has the supply secure, but wants to make her do something....


Both female and male HPD's use temper tantrums on their main victim, uh I mean "soulmate".........haha

Actually, HPDs use temper tantrums whenever they're upset that they can't get their way. NPDs wait until their supply is secure. With a HPD it might also be an indication that she feels that she has more status then you, so why aren't you listening.

Either way, if it's a HPD doing it, then she's actually upset with the situation. If it's a NPD then it's probably meant as a tool to control you.
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Re: HPD men

Postby ROFLcopter » Wed Aug 26, 2009 1:16 pm

Well i have a good friend who may or may not be hpd, but he certainly has alot of the traits. the way he does it is humor. he is extremely funny and great at making people laugh. he starts out by teasing a girl and mocking her. He isn't gentle about it either, but he stays just shy of offending them. what keeps the girl from writing him off immeadiately, is that he is funny enough to make her laugh as well, so he is laughing with her not at her. this sets up a dynamic where she has to try to keep up with him rhetorically and is basically looking for his approval in the form of his laughter. he will then move on to more sexually explicit jokes etc. always keeping her laughing so that it doesnt seem creepy. the final stage, believe it or not is internet porn. he whips out his laptop or iphone and "hahah look at this porn. can you believe it? this is so funny" I don't know how he seals the deal after this because they will usually end up leaving the room.

I was his roomate for a while and we are pretty good friends, so ive seen bits and pieces of this process a million times. at first it puzzled me but grudually i added it up and it makes sense in a way.
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Re: HPD men

Postby Chinatown Charlie » Sat Aug 29, 2009 5:50 am

Woah,

You're sounding like you think the behaviours are diagnosable H or N as a reslut (oops, Freudian typo) result of trial and error by the individual as a teen or adolescent or adult. Is that possible even though the causes are from early childhood? Can diagnosis not be reached by examination of early childhood alone? I didn't know that later development was a factor in diagnosis.

Sure, we all learn how to pick people up. Does our relative success or potential in a dramatic-erratic type pd person determine whether it's N or H? I became really successful at 21, before that i was hopeless, due to ten years of male boarding school. I was H, B, P in school, but though my N symptoms only showed from 21 on, does it mean I wasn't N back in school, just a very frustrated one? Thinking about it, I was such a rebel loser in school, I could hardly have been described as N, but I certainly am now, so maybe that's worth looking at.

As an H/B/A/N I'll attract and go for anything (man, woman, child (not for sex, for approval) or animal (ditto)) that'll have me, and the better they are, the longer it'll be before I flip. That's not deliberate, you know none of it is, it's all impulse, it's just what I've observed in my first bout of reflection/inspection/introspection.

You guys talk as if you're in the school staffroom and there are no pupils around. You know of any place called 'Dramatics - behind the Bikeshed' where I can go where there a no teachers? And one where we can mix? Is here okay for that? or should I bugger off?

Love,

Charlie
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Re: HPD men

Postby Balderdash » Sat Aug 29, 2009 9:36 pm

Chinatown Charlie wrote:You guys talk as if you're in the school staffroom and there are no pupils around. You know of any place called 'Dramatics - behind the Bikeshed' where I can go where there a no teachers? And one where we can mix? Is here okay for that? or should I bugger off?

People talk like that here because, for the most part, that's what it is. Obviously, this board is for everyone, but if you want to make a place here for someone with your viewpoint, you'll need to make it. The simple face is, people with HPD tend not to post here. A lot of people are going to be uneasy dealing with the people that claim the problem that they've been bitching about, but you have just as much right to be here as anyone else.

I wish you and any others that recognize the HPD description in themselves the best of luck here, but the simple fact is, I can't make that place for you. I think this would be a healthier board to have people posting here from both sides, but whether you're willing to put the effort into becoming an interactive part of this community has to be up to you.
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Re: HPD men

Postby Chinatown Charlie » Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:23 am

Cool, thanks Balderdash.

I'm in dialogue on 'EVERYONE, lets be a team' in this forum, bringing out cases from my past and trying to explain what triggered dumping.

the 'victim, I mean 'soulmate' joke is the key to dealing with this subject.

Emotional Vampire. Do you make yourself believe that the vampire knows that it is a vampire?

Does the use of a supernatural simile assist in rationalising? The irony is succulent.

Does knowing that someone has a disorder sanction vengeful behind back belittling?

You guys should take a lot of pride in the fact that you loved and inspired the love of an H. it comes with a price, as the H's love life does, but please don't think that it wasn't love on the H's part. I can see how it can salve your pain, but I'd like to help if possible, if it's useful, to heal deeper.

If any of you don't want to be healed, as I don't want to be cured (only the panic dumping side do i want to fix, the rest I'm really happy with) but want to feed your pain with more pain, I'm here. I can be your dominatrix, I know exactly what it is you love, and can wipe my shoes on your hearts and bodies if you like. You pathetic little boys :twisted:

With love and understanding,

Charlie
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Re: HPD men

Postby Chinatown Charlie » Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:44 am

Tools:

Mechanisms, tactics, tantrums, gestures on page one; you're using these words in a context that makes them sound as if they might be deliberate, calculated acts. That's what normal people do. Poeple with dramatic type PDs have a compulsion to do these things, that overrides their moral understanding, and it feels justified and normal to do it. You all KNOW this.

You use the word WILL do this WILL do that. A person diagnosed this WILL do this, that one WILL do that. I understand that this is for the purposes of discussion of distinguishing diagnostics, I just want to stand on the corner with a warning flag, advising you not to grease the funnel and slide yourselves and victims of H/N behaviour into the pit of THEY WILL DO MOCK-WORTHY EVIL.

I want to get into the nitty gritty with you, so I want to know why you're doing the above, surely you aren't competitively denegrating people with disorders? I'd understand if you did, because anyone normal doing these things, would of course have to be an asshole. I'm taking it personally and want it out of the way before we can discuss stuff, which I need to do with you. Please.

Yours,

Charlie
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Re: HPD men

Postby Chinatown Charlie » Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:52 am

The WILL word feels a bit too strong to me because I don't always end up doing these things. There's a compulsion, but sometimes I can control it. Not if I'm drunk or high or tired or stressed or my partner is being particularly tempting, but sometimes I can. So when you type WILL, please consider adding the suffix '-be compelled to'

Yours, oversensitively perhaps,

Charlie
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Re: HPD men

Postby TatteredKnight » Mon Aug 31, 2009 5:16 am

Chinatown Charlie wrote:The WILL word feels a bit too strong to me because I don't always end up doing these things. There's a compulsion, but sometimes I can control it.

It's probably most helpful for you to read 'will' as 'will most likely' or (as you said) 'will feel compelled to'. Or, for the more cynical among us, 'will eventually'. As you say, sometimes you can master the compulsion, but only when you're in top condition and your partner is not doing whatever they do to trigger it. So eventually, you'll end up slipping.

I just want to stand on the corner with a warning flag, advising you not to grease the funnel and slide yourselves and victims of H/N behaviour into the pit of THEY WILL DO MOCK-WORTHY EVIL.

I can't speak for everyone here but for myself, I've never seen HPD behaviour as evil. At worst, it's like a cat playing with a mouse (emotionally, I mean - the seduce/conquer/devalue/discard cycle, which many will repeat with the same partner, coming back to seduce again when they run out of other 'leads'). It's cruel, but it's simply them following their nature. Evil would be them deliberately causing pain for its own sake, rather than because they are emotionally damaged and can't understand or control the process.
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Re: HPD men

Postby StarFace » Wed Sep 23, 2009 10:46 am

HPD man? I see No difference in me, i act like a HPD woman would. I think its because i am really in touch with my feminine side lol and just so emotional. (i aint bi or gay though,ugh ###$) Yea i get called creepy often over the internet when i am chattin with a girl and it makes me so mad, like wtf are you talking about woman? How dare you say this to me? To Treat me like a creep and weirdo. I mean come on, dont you see how sweet and innocent i look. I could never hurt a fly lol

Image
Am i right? Ahaha

well anyway girls dont get me online so i dont talk to girls online anymore. In real life i never get called a creep, online dating is not for me.
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