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Histrionic Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

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Attention Please. You are entering the Histrionic Personality Disorder forum. Please read this carefully.

Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of HPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non HP readers. Discussions related to HPD behavior are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging or encouraging these urges is not what this forum is intended for.

Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse from HPDs. .
Non HPD users are welcome to post here, But their questions Must have a respectful tone.
If you are a NON and have issues with an past relationship with an HPD person, it is suggested that you Post in a Relationship forum. Here is a link to that forum: relationship/

For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.

Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
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Crazy Crazy woman

Postby Jalysmith » Wed Dec 17, 2008 12:46 am

HI I am new to this forum, i have a few questions as i believe my girlfriend of nearly a year may be HPD and i want to know whether to confront her and try to get help for her or if i should walk away from her destructive behaviours.

So here goes:

Katherine was a girl who hung out within the same college social group and i met her through mutual friends. We hit off and started IM ing each other. Within a week we had met up. She slept with me on the first date and woke me up with breakfast in bed the following morning naked. All her efforts continued for the first week and she used to show up at my house naked or give me oral sex in a moving car or pass her worn knickers to me under the table when we were out at a restaurant. Really sexy stuff like that...i was completely hooked on her and we saw each other every minute of everyday for the first few months.

Early on i noticed how unstable she was, she had a bad coke habit and a bit of an alcohol problem. She had already been in rehab but was still snorting every other day. I told her to quit or lose me, she completely flipped out saying she wanted to kill herself and crying her outs. Nonetheless she gave up the coke, and i am certain she did as we spend so much time together. She told me her nan died in the month befor I met her but that she didnt care as her nan her emotionally abused her but i found out through her sister that that was a lie. Im unsre why she lied about that!!! I never confronted her as i didnt want to embarass her.

So 2 months in Katherine gets a breast enlargement, she threw coffee over the nurse when she came round as she thought they werent big enough (she is a european 32DD!) she sometimes still stuffs her bra and she wears 2 padded bras at times. She is a beautiful girl. Slim petite with a nice smile. I tell her this often so i can not understand why she stuffs her bra still? She looks plain silly with this massive mishapen shelf in front of her, and i tell her this but she gets upset.

I suspected HPD when i saw a group about it on a social networking site. Katherine imho shows all the signs. She flirts with guys in front of me . Messages back random men who are chatting her up on social networking sites, has NO female friends except her sister and her sisters friends. Hangs out with a lot of boys and im pretty sure she ahs tried her hand at stripping from how good she is at it! Despite all of this she has hacked into my emails and my msn on several occasions and goes through my phone all the time and accuses me of cheating. She also has a major issue with my exes and im pretty sure she checks up their myspace,bebo and facebook everyday because she always seems to know what theyre up to and uses that to argue with me,
i.e "Did you know sarahs blonde now? i bet thats because you told her she looks better blonde!! you think she is better looking and better in bed, you would die to sleep with her. I saw your message to her asking how she is. You only care because you want to get into her knickers etc."

Before we met she slept with her boss for a promotion. I pretty sure she has slept with someone or other at every job she has ever had!!! Speaking of jobs i believe she has been sacked from every job as well owing to 'jealous women'.

Currently she sponges off her parents. She is disrespectful and cold towards them and only speaks nicely to them when she wants money, a lift, new shoes, dinner etc.

She also tried to turn me agains my entire family and almost succeeded. She told me they think im a loser and have told her she can do better and then in the next breath that my mother told her she was not good enough and would never be accpeted into the family. None of which were true! She makes silly comments like that she would sleep with my little brother and has made racist comments against some of my female friends. She has dyslexia and can be impulsive she never ever thinks before she speaks and often makes inappropriate remarks because of this. I also found out she has been arreseted for using a stolen credit card when she was 16

The last straw was when she emailed oneof my best female friends and accused her of sleeping with me because i let her stay at my house after a night out.

I really love this girl but im sure she is crazy and needs help. Normally she is charming fun exciting and sey but she is so volatile. She cna be so cold and cruel and look through me and speak to me with no love or warmth and come across quite harsh. er moods are very unpredictable! Im addicted to her and i am not sure whether to stay or leave? Does this sound like HPD?
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Postby A little Wisernow » Wed Dec 17, 2008 1:10 am

She sounds a lot like my EX..............


Crazy is right!!!!
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Postby cmj85 » Wed Dec 17, 2008 2:09 am

Confront her and you will lose her within a week. If she is HPD.

You cant help her as much as you want too! I would cut and run. If not be prepared for her to leave you on her terms. Its easier said than done.

What other symptoms does she have?

Does she seem shallow or fake?
Does she always want praise?
Is she attractive(hot)
Does she lack detail in her speech?
Flirt with everyone(even with body language)?
Rapid speech?
Charming?
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Postby crazysexycool » Wed Dec 17, 2008 2:53 am

Last edited by crazysexycool on Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:55 am, edited 2 times in total.
“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”
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Postby Jalysmith » Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:13 am

Does she seem shallow or fake?
Does she always want praise?
Is she attractive(hot)
Does she lack detail in her speech?
Flirt with everyone(even with body language)?
Rapid speech?
Charming?


She values appearance over EVERYTHING - she normally judges people by their appearance and is OBSESSED with hers - I catch her looking in any reflective surface all the time. Once she even sat in front of the mirror for 20mins staring at herself, barely even blinking and then started crying and made a list of more surgery she wants. Shallow doesnt even begin to describe it!!!
At first i thought it was BDD(Body Dysmorphia) but she is too much of a bitch and can be confident in front of stangers so i find it hard to see her as having BDD

She THRIVES on praise. She hates my family cause they apparently dont praise her enough to me.So i can not go back and tell her amazingly wonderful things they have said about her!! She is always seeking reassurance that she is better looking and better in bed than all my exes. She once asked me to compare her to Scarlett Johanssen for attractiveness - WTF how can i tell her she is more beautiful than one of the most stunning actresses in the world!?
I told her she was anyway, but this then turned into an argument and she told me i was lying and that I am therefore probably lying when i say she is better looking than my exes. I think this is unreasonable and completely illogical behaviour! it makes absolutely no sense to ask me a question and then yell at me for not answering it right and then yell at me for lying cause i told you what you wanted to hear!

She studied maths because she has dyslexia. she is so illogical she can not string her ideas together hence she cant do essay type subjects well.
This goes for everyday speech too. She confuses the issues in arguments and i think just talks for the sake of it. She GENERALISES everything. And never has solid facts to back up opininons yet wants to challenge everybody about theirs and ends up looking the fool and then tells me that everyone else is dumb.

She views the world in a really weird way some of the beliefs she has are so retarded. i.e
"you only live once so im going to carve myself into a goddess. I was given one life and im going to die the best woman on earth. Thats my purpose in life!"
She also believes in every single conspiracy theory going she even argued with me that Obama is going to launch a terrorist attack like she reckons bush did with 9/11 - WTF where does she get this $#%^?
She can never justify it either and its annoying!!
She also said she doesnt want kids unless she can afford to hire an au pair and that the only reason she wants children is because she wants to see what they look like!
She also said that she doesnt believe in love...i got angry at this and asked her to elaborate and she retracted it saying she was being silly and that she only meant that she dont believe in love at first sight!

As for flirting....she flirts with my nans dogs!
She flirst with everyone in every circumstance even if she doesnt say anything she gives them seductive eyes and touches her breasts neck lips or tummy(pulls up her shirt to reveal her midriff),
She has even emailed some of my male friends for no reason at all and striked up conversations which i deem to be flirting!

I'm not sure about the rapid speech, she speaks faster than average but i have a lot of asian friends who speak extremely fast so it doesnt seem like she does....hmmmmm not sure.

She is incredibly charming reading this makes me wonder why im with her....and then i remember the good times when she behaves in a reasonable and sane manner . I love her so much even with her craziness. She is like someone i have never met before. She can make me feel like I am the best man in the world and tells me she loves me and that I am gorgeous evey minute of everyday!

She is ALWAYS threatening to leave me though and when I do say go ahead then she gets upset and makes out as thought I am the one trying to end it. The one time I got sick of her false breaking up I actually broke up with her and then the next day i found her sitting in my room naked when i got back from college because she had told my mum that i had told her to meet me there.

On the plus side she is gorgeous, great in bed exciting unique and very generous. She does have a big heart. She used to do a lot of voluntary work with homeless people before i met her. She isnt evil she is just crazy and i want to help her get over her issues so the relationship can progress....and there are ALOT of issues
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Postby cmj85 » Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:42 am

Sounds HPD

She hates your family because they take attention away from her.

She will try to isolate you from your family. My family did many nice things for my ex-hpd. But she eneded up treating them like ponds.
she tried to isolate me from them. Calling my mother and making up stories.

The charm, looks, and sex is part of being in their web!!!

Get the ###$ out! You see the red flags!! Listen to yourself.

a lot of us on this forum thought our love could fix a HPD...sorry to tell
you its not going to happen. If you want to keep her...then leave her first. If they dump you then you will NEVER get a answer or her back!

But my advise is to leave NOW! Help yourself...you came to this forum for a reason. Be prepared for her to cry a river that she loves you...its all a part of her ACT!
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Postby cmj85 » Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:49 am

SHE LIKE SOMEONE I HAVE NEVER MET BEFORE


WOW....thats what we all have said about our HPD. Im telling you
her mask is starting to fall off...you will get used at the end.

Listen to us wise souls...

Listen to

mywave
Shivers
411needed
Harry

Im telling you...she will destroy you when you least expect it.

I understand how much you love her but she is not normal...she is a master at what she does. HPD people are very good at emotional blackmail.
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Postby MyWave » Wed Dec 17, 2008 4:38 am

Sounds quite a bit like an HPD with some BPD elements as well

All those things she is accusing you of (Lying, cheating, contacting ex's ect) are things she is projecting. Further, they are also things she is doing or is on the verge of doing...

Isolating you from your family and friends is right out of any abuser playbook

The prognosis of her getting better is bleak at best. I am sorry as I don't mean to kill your hopeful enthusiasm, but you need to hear the highly probable reality; SHE WILL NOT CHANGE, AND ALSO, YOU WILL END UP HURT. I really wish I was wrong here, but read this board...

You can't help her (only she can) and the more you attempt to or point out her major flaws, the more likely she will bolt abruptly. She has other guys in her radar and it most likely is a matter of time before she will feel you closing in on her true identity. As hard as this is to hear she views you as a source of supply. She has you on a pedestal one day and the next thing you know she will throw you away like yesterdays trash...and that is when they will make plans to leave

You may want to do a search on Panama's posts here. He had a similar situation as yours. Read his story and tell me what you think. In fact, read this board as much as possible. There is a wealth of information

In the meantime, please take good care of yourself. Being with an HPD can suck the life right out of you. Stay connected with your family and friends as they will become even more important than they are now. Being with an HPD... It is like trying to fill a bottomless hole. The highs are great but the lows are crushing. Worst of it all she was acting the whole time

Keep posting to us
You feed the fire that burned us all
When you lied
To feel the pain that spurs you on
Black inside
~ Alice in Chains
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The Confrontation

Postby Jalysmith » Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:31 pm

I confronted Katherine and showed her this forum yesterday. She was livid that I had been discussing her and then today she
consequently hacked into and deleted my myspace page and facebook.

I have arranged to meet up with Sarah on Saturday :P

I am on my way out boys. I am not getting involved further.
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