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Cut off all contact with my HPD coworker

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Cut off all contact with my HPD coworker

Postby UCS1923 » Mon Aug 04, 2008 10:18 pm

Will she ever quit trying to get my attention back? She used to have a slight romantic interest in me, but not anymore. After I cut off contact, she was trying desperately to get my attention back. That was 5 months ago. Has she given up, or is still trying to figure out a way to get my attention back?
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Postby Chucky » Tue Aug 05, 2008 7:24 pm

It took about 1 year for my HPD ex to finally leave me alone. You must be strong and resist all attempts she makes to contact you. Over time, rejecting her will become like a habit for you, and it will be easier.

Kevin
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keep the door shut

Postby MyWave » Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:42 pm

NO CONTACT...

They are very skilled at manipulation, and you have to cut off every single angle. You are just a source of supply and she has a shallow investment in you...you give her any problems and she will throw you away like a old sandwich

Thank your lucky stars that you are out and never look back...believe me she is already with/after other prey several times over
You feed the fire that burned us all
When you lied
To feel the pain that spurs you on
Black inside
~ Alice in Chains
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Re: Cut off all contact with my HPD coworker

Postby Calavera » Wed Aug 06, 2008 11:34 am

UCS1923 wrote:Will she ever quit trying to get my attention back? She used to have a slight romantic interest in me, but not anymore. After I cut off contact, she was trying desperately to get my attention back. That was 5 months ago. Has she given up, or is still trying to figure out a way to get my attention back?


Sounds to me you want her ... else you wouldn't be wondering whether or not she's given up after 5 months of no attention seeking behavior from her.

Please stay no contact (like MyWave said) ... for your own sake.
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Postby santa fe » Wed Aug 06, 2008 3:33 pm

I'd say that she's given up due to having acquired a fresh source of supply that obviates motivations toward you. That, or that she is working on a source with full obsession because of a higher potential payoff due to status, quality of supply, etc. If you were the most intriguing option she would not have stayed away this long.

Remember, it's not about who you are––it's only the efficiency with which you can create the illusion of having plugged the gaping hole in her disordered personality and the diameter of the hose with which you pump her full of hydrogen and make her feel light on her feet.

What you really need to figure out––the question you should be asksing––is why you are still obsessing after five months. HPD relationships are addictive and it's not just the hpd half. We all need to realize (and deal with) the fact that although they are disordered, mentally ill, lacking in the very characteristics that are most desirable in a real partner, we are in some way the yen for their yang. We have characteristics that make us vulnerable and even after having been treated badly, humiliated and disrespected, when the hpd looks around and says "anyone up for another round of abuse" it's like we have spring loaded elbows––when a reasonable person would be jumping out the window to get away we raise our hands and say pick me, please pick me.
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Postby Chucky » Wed Aug 06, 2008 5:25 pm

Actually - yes - why are you even still thinking about her so much that you had to come here for advice? She must still dominate your thoughts but, I warn you, getting with her gain could be a mistake. It would be like stepping onto the spider's web - Once you do that, she'll catch you.

Refocus your attention away from her to other girls. To me, it just sounds like you are starved of attention, but you must not seek it from her. Look elsewhere.

Kevin
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Postby Oknow » Fri Sep 26, 2008 4:33 pm

I agree with the wise words from Santa Fe. I am in a similar situation. I am currently keeping away from my HPD friend. She has made no attempt to contact me and I know its because there is something or someone far more interesting at the moment. When that falls over as it ineviatbly will, she may get back in touch but there are a lot of me's that she could chose from. Probably all at the same time. Its hard to stay away, I really like her anyway from a fun point of view. My advise 'Just don't love them'
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