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Argumentative

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Argumentative

Postby unsc8thd » Mon Mar 19, 2007 2:19 pm

is it a common trait for these PD's to be argumentative? seems if the positive supply lacks then they look for negative supply like starting an argument.

maybe it's a way to break the bordem & gain supply in an alternate method.
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Postby ewriter » Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:46 pm

my hpd was argumentative.

i think it´s due to their general lack of impulse control, their hostility and aggressiveness, both due to projection, and their fear when threatened with reality.
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Postby Roni » Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:52 pm

Yes, I would agree with ewriter.

My HPD actually hates to argue. (For many reasons, including he sucks at it; he generally denies all negative emotions; he perceives it as criticism, etc.)

But, he might impulsively blurt something out that seems intended to start an argument.

Really, though, I think he just has a sudden shift in mood or just a sudden thought that led to the blurting. He much prefers that I just placidly accept anything and everything, and certainly not "argue" about anything.
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Postby ccumm36D » Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:35 pm

My wife is argumentative but at the same time I did everything I could to avoid an argument.

To be fair argumentative may not be completely accurate.

She was/is very critical of others. I often thought her remarks were just her way of trying to feel better about herself, superior to others maybe, I don't know. Sometimes a critical remark would start an argument but I wasn't always sure that was her intention.

A long time ago, and I do mean LONG. I adopted a saying to myself. Just a little positive re-enforcement for myself...

"Positivity and optimism at all times"

When she was being difficult I would say that to myself and make a concious decision to not be dragged down. Being happy or sad can be influenced by the attitude we bring to it. Even when the sh/t was hitting the fan I would make the concious effort to not engage. I would say something positive.

Often times it had little or no effect on the immediate situation. The benefit, at least for me came later, when I didn't have to feel regret for saying something in the heat of the moment that I shouldn't have. Know what I mean? Often times after arguments we reflect back on them and wince to ourselves and think "wish I hadn't said that". I was able to over come that to a great extent.

Yeah the bitch was argumentative, what can I say? I tried to deal with it.
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Postby unsc8thd » Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:45 pm

on another note, this person has a very negative outlook on life. i was watching her from a distance one time while she was zeroing in on an attractive tall blond.
i actually watched her facial expression change from normal to disgust after she saw the tall blonde. it's like she was jealous of her or something. i can honestly say i have never seen an adult do that only kids who may be mocking someone. i didn't address her with it knowing it would only breed grounds for an argument.
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