I'm a male and I think I might have HPD

I'm new here so this might sound stupid but I just googled "why do I crave attention" and it came up with this. The only thing is that it said it is something women generally have and I am a straight male.

Anyway whenever I'm at a party or a social setting I try my hardest to get everyones attention especially if there are women there and if I can't get it I get extremely agitated.
I usually do it in a way that doesn't make me look needy so it looks like I don't really care about the girl, like I will pretend to tell my friend a joke but I will stand close to a girl and say it quite loud so she hears it and laughs.
Most of the time it works and I end up getting the girls full attention but when it doesn't I have to do everything I can in order to get it and I end up doing really stupid $#%^.

I don't even date the girls, I usually just keep talking to them until I feel like they really like me and give me all their attention and then get bored with them and try to get attention from someone else and the cycle goes on and on.
I might sound like an asshole but I feel like this is self destructive and I don't want to be like this.

The reason I'm here is because this girl didn't give me her full attention on a Christmas party and I'm still pissed off about it. I don't even care about the girl but I keep thinking about the fact that she ignored me and I feel very uneasy.
She did talk to me but she was also talking to these other guys which pissed me off.
The next day she tried texting me and I was like ###$ you go talk to those other guys, and then she just stopped talking to me which pissed me off even more. Usually they get upset and start apologizing or something but she just moved on.
Then I uploaded a bunch of topless pics and ab pics to facebook to try get her to comment or something but she's still ignoring me.
I don't even want to date her or anything, I just want to know that she likes me so I can move onto someone else but I'm wasting all my time obsessing over her.
While I was trying to get her attention at the party I managed to attract these other girls but their attention wouldn't do it for me.
The girl isn't even that hot, she's not ugly but compared to me she looks like someone below my standards, so it pisses me off even more thinking she can do this to me.

Anyway I probably sound like an idiot but that's why I'm posting this anonymously on a forum and not telling anyone in real life how I feel.

What can I do about this?

Hey stevienyc,

We cannot diagnose anyone here, but it is enough to know that obtaining attention is causing you grief on some level.

I think it would be fair to say that most people enjoy the ego boost from attention, but it's when it goes to an extreme, when the person doesn't feel good about themselves without it, or obsesses, it suggests deep seated self-esteem issues are behind it, which leads to the obvious question -

How do you feel about yourself when alone?

xdude wrote:How do you feel about yourself when alone?

Right now I feel like $#%^ because of what happened but it usually depends. I always try to convince myself that I am some kind of God but when something like this happens I feel angry and confused.

Not sure if my last post went through.

Hi stevienyc,

Not always, but sometimes there is a core reason why we do what we do. Is there anything behind this that has been hard to look at? The reasons why you aren't feeling good about yourself?

I feel angry because I was ignored when I usually get full attention. Right now I'm using up all my time obsessing over this even though it happened over a month ago and I still can't get over it. I just want to be someone that girls go crazy for and I can usually trick them into wanting me but when it doesn't work I end up feeling like this.

-- Mon Jan 18, 2016 5:36 am --

Oh could you also please delete my 3rd post? Thanks.

Hi stevienyc,

We don't delete posts here, and it is harmless as-is.

Again it's probably fair to say that most people want to be desired, and feel a degree of hurt if rejected. Being desired is an ego boost. Being rejected is an ego hurt. We all react to our sense of ego up/downs, but my non-professional understanding is that people with HPD react to their own sense of ego boosts/downers to an extreme, and are often unaware what's going on in themselves, that there is some core inner damage that hurts too much to face.

stevienyc wrote:I feel angry because I was ignored when I usually get full attention. Right now I'm using up all my time obsessing over this even though it happened over a month ago and I still can't get over it. I just want to be someone that girls go crazy for and I can usually trick them into wanting me but when it doesn't work I end up feeling like this.

-- Mon Jan 18, 2016 5:36 am --

Oh could you also please delete my 3rd post? Thanks.

Stevie, can you tell us a little bit about your family and childhood? Especially the relationship you have with your mother and father.

Also, you may want to read these:
http://www.universitypsychiatry.com/cli ... _PICPs.pdf
http://maretwebproject.com/users/docs/histrionic.pdf

Tell us if what's written there fits your personality traits.

Fr4nz83 wrote:Stevie, can you tell us a little bit about your family and childhood? Especially the relationship you have with your mother and father.

Well I've had problems with my mom since childhood so that would probably the obvious reason for all this. I don't get along with her and I don't like her but she still tries talking to me so I sometimes have short conversations with her.
I never had any problems with my dad. He was strict when I was younger but he didn't really do anything wrong and I speak to him regularly.

Why you don't like her?