Our partner

Intense emotions regarding new relationships

Histrionic Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.
Forum rules
Attention Please. You are entering the Histrionic Personality Disorder forum. Please read this carefully.

Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of HPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non HP readers. Discussions related to HPD behavior are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging or encouraging these urges is not what this forum is intended for.

Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse from HPDs. .
Non HPD users are welcome to post here, But their questions Must have a respectful tone.
If you are a NON and have issues with an past relationship with an HPD person, it is suggested that you Post in a Relationship forum. Here is a link to that forum: relationship/

For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.

Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.

Best Regards,
The Team

Intense emotions regarding new relationships

Postby thrown_away_kitty » Thu Oct 08, 2015 4:24 pm

I posted this in Borderline personality disorders as well, but I think it might belong here more.

I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and histrionic personality disorder a while back and since then, I've been able to determine when I'm experiencing a symptom and dealing with it accordingly. It made it so that the symptoms are less frequent and intense since I am able to recognize them

One that I'm unable to shake off through is my intense emotional response to new relationships and my dismissal of old relationships due to these new relationships. For example, I consider myself polyamorous and so I have multiple sexual and romantic relationships. I am seeing four people at the moment, and at the beginning of every single of those relationships I had a very intense emotional connection. I wanted to see them all the time but as I would get other relationships, or simply as time went by, I would lose interest and replace them.

So essentially, my original intense emotions seemed to be false or clouded and turned to disinterest, and this within a few weeks or months.

I have no idea if this is linked to my personality disorders as I am no longer being treated or followed for these, and this has been happening for years, probably since I was a teenager.

I have searched for how to deal with this type of symptom but to no avail. It seems that all the sites in regards to personality disorders are very good at saying a quick phrase about a symptom without giving you tools on how to cope.

I need to be able to deal with this and to be able to differentiate between these "fake" momentary intense emotions from real long lasting ones because I'm entering a sort of relationship with a man who I work with and who I really like. I don't want to express these emotions I'm feeling because I'm afraid that they won't last and I'll have to backtrack later (which has happened many times in the past) but sometimes they're so intense that I just want to scream at how happy and safe I am when I'm in his arms. We met two and a half months ago, and started as friends. Since the begining, we shared intimate details about our mental health, our issues, our lives.A month and a half ago, we started seeing each other and sleeping together, without actually categorizing our relationship (we haven't said we've been dating, and we always refer to each other as friends)

So I guess what I'm asking for is tools and tips/tricks on how to go about this.

Any help or insight will help. If I need to give any additional details, please let me know :)
thrown_away_kitty
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2015 3:47 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 9:55 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Intense emotions regarding new relationships

Postby xdude » Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:18 pm

Hey thrown_away_kitty,

My personal opinion only -

Yes for sure most material on personality disorders focuses on symptoms, very little on how to change, maybe because changes start with a committed want to change that is needs to be stronger than the want to continue as-is. I think that first step really has to start with the person, and must be self-chosen.

A generalization, but I also think to a great degree we're all driven by perceived/real benefits vs our perceived or real negatives. So I guess I would start with taking some time out to ask yourself some questions such as:

What do you get out of the newly idealized relationships?

What do you ?fear? will happen if you don't let your feelings for a new person run-away on you?

What do you think will happen if you stay committed to one person longer?

What do you get out of maintaining multiple relationships?

Anyway you get the idea. It can be hard to ask these types of questions of self if you have a perception that if you don't run with your feelings of the moment something will be lost (e.g., an opportunity) In that case you can ask a deeper question such as:

Why do I fear stopping and examining my own feelings?

What do I get out of avoiding stopping to examine my own feelings?

Etc.

A variation on that is "I can't stop my feelings of the moment" but still a question can be asked such as:

What do I think is going to happen if I stop and force myself to try?

--

Essentially practicing introspection, something that some avoid, maybe just because they have never learned how, but sometimes also because they fear what they'll learn about themselves, or miss out on if the think about their own feelings.

That all written, there is something to be said for living life and not over thinking it too. As usual, it comes back to extremes. Over introspecting is probably not so great, but nor is avoiding doing so entirely, or avoiding it to continue down a self-destructive path. Just remember that we are the only ones who miss out if we ignore our thoughts at the expense of our emotions or vice versa. They are both part of who and what we are as humans.

Hope that helps.
We do NOT delete posts

Read the forum rules before posting here. If you are having any doubts about what you are posting, if you are thinking in the back of your mind, "I am going to want to delete this, or these details, later", remove those details, or step back and don't post until you are sure.
xdude
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 8662
Joined: Thu Dec 23, 2010 3:41 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 9:55 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Intense emotions regarding new relationships

Postby laila1013 » Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:11 am

thrown_away_kitty wrote: I've been able to determine when I'm experiencing a symptom and dealing with it accordingly. It made it so that the symptoms are less frequent and intense since I am able to recognize them


Hey kitty,

Got a question of my own - how did you learn to recognize the symptoms and deal with them? What makes you aware?
laila1013
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2015 3:01 am
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 4:55 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Histrionic Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests