Emotional detachment/split personality

Ok so I am just getting less and less sure what is wrong me... I've been very emotionally detached mostly the last few years, I must have lost track of how messed up I got... since a couple of years ago in high school I was really into trying to get friends etc., although I knew people at school, it didn't get very friendship-ish, so I kinda gave up on that, and concentrated mostly on physics and programming. I am not sure if I was just very ambitious or got grandiose, since I was doing really well in school and had many top grades, so I wanted to just produce somehing great (with physics and programming). When I started in university,I was hoping to make some friends again but I wasn't social enough, so I concentrated mostly about physics again, but then I started getting really anxious and afraid of people, for some time I didn't know anyone, so it got very noticable that I am scared of people I don't know, and I was anxious even at home so my studies went much more poorly. I hadn't put much thought into it before, but when I'm scared of people I either get emotionally detached, then I can talk to them intelligently, but not being very social. But when I am not emotionally detached, and around people I am not scared of and happy, I kind of stop being intelligent and can't socialize in a "smart" way, so I am behaving kinda like a little child or something, and although I can get kinda friendly with people, it's really weird how I am. It's kinda like I can't have emotions and be smart at the same time...

I've been seeing a psychologist, I have been mostly emotionally detached with him, I've told him I get scared of people etc. But he isn't talking anything about anxiety, he thinks I have aspergers. It could be true as well, but I think I need to tell him I am sometimes fine emotionally, but then not intellectually... but I don't know how to explain this to him. I was hoping he would just figure everything out, but he is relying mostly on questionaires.

Well Kuno, I can't say whether you've got Asperger's or not, because I'm no therapist, but my guess is, you don't, and I arrive at this conclusion based on the fact that I've had to walk a VERY similar path in life, and because of it, I'm pretty detached/impersonal when I deal with people too. I guess that just happens as a result of growing up with people you don't develop a true intellectual/psychological 'connection' with. I got detached partly because I knew that most people wouldn't be able to really 'metabolize' my whole personality, and that's got NOTHING to do with grandiosity; I realized that people for the most part are simple, so they didn't always have the abilty to see the whole personality I had, so I just asked myself 'what's the point? The point is, you've gotta look for people who are more YOUR speed intellectually.

I'm betting since you were very intelligent coming up through high school and university, but because you didn't really learn the softer art of socializing, it gradually became like a muscle you had to work on more consciously. Alot of intellectuals don't do well socializing because if you take an intellectual, and place them in a room full of class clowns, jocks, cheerleaders, and all the other social archetypes that the majority of society places so much emphasis/importance in/on, then the intellectual in spite of being incredibly intelligent/bright, won't naturally shine in this type of situation because his merits will seem reminiscent to the 'teacher/parental/authority' type of archetype that teens/young adults feel are oppressive...but being an intellectual you hold the advantage because you can use that knowledge to your advantage; I started to do just that, and my social life improved! I got confidence in just talking to people, but I'm STILL an introverted/intellectual, and I would rather be that way.

If you don't come off as intellectual/preachy and can just loosen up, (assuming you don't have any history of trauma/abuse/ in your past) socializing for you should be a breeze! People who party love videogames, alcohol, partying, dancing, etc. when I'm with people who are more party, alcohol types, I can turn on the confidence more because I know (even if this seems a little TOO BRUTAL) I'm more intelligent than most of them, so what do I care if they like me, or not?! I suggest the same approach for you. There's confidence, arrogance, grandiosity, and then there's quiet confidence...use it to your advantage by knowing who you are, and what you've got to bring to the social table man!

I can only engage in this stuff every ONCE in a while with people en mass, but having a get together with a few people I trust/know/like well, is better. JMO.

Split persoanlity? You never actually used that term in your post, at least that I saw . . . It seems like you think you can be 2 different ways or personalities. Have you checked out te Dissociative identity Disorder Forum? That forum might help you see yourself a little clearer, either way. It can help to rule things out. If you are concerned or noticiting a "split personality", look there for clues for or against.

As for aspergers, the main clue to that would be if you have any clue that you are being detached socially. Do people complain to you that you are detached or hard to communicate with? My FIl displays signs of aspergers and it shows the most when his kids confront him on his communication, or lack of, and he doesn't even have a clue why they are upset with him . . . apparently not calling your kids EVER is okay . . . that's more like aspergers to me.