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My boyfriend wants to be a woman

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My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby catlady » Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:58 am

Hi

Me and my boyfriend have been together over 3yrs and we have a very good relationship.
In the past he has often like to dress up in my clothes, wear wigs etc I have no problem with at all.
Yesterday he confused to me that he would like to go further and get hormone treatment and breast implants (he does not want his genitals changed). He said he has felt like this for over 10years now.

I am ok with this. We still want to be together.

My main worry is where it leaves us and our relationship. He says hes not interested in men, but he has read that hormones etc has made other people going through the same thing that have completely changed in there sexuality even without setting out to .

I will be there for him no matter what. I think maybe Im just in shock but I have no one else outside of me and him to talk to and I wouldnt want to betray his confidence.

Also does anyone have any advice on what he does next? Ive looked for lgbt support groups but there are none where we live for the other 25's.

Many Thanks for ready
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Re: My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby whybother » Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:03 am

catlady

welcome to the forums.

People on hormones generally have neither the desire or ability to penetrate.

If you want rally current information head for your local gay pub/club and speak to someone who is attempting to change their gender. Their information will be as current as the last script given to them.

You should also read all the posts in the transgender forums...... there is under 150.
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Re: My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby SnakeskinSoul » Mon Jul 23, 2012 4:57 pm

Hello there.

Firstly, if she wants to be a woman... then calling her your girlfriend, and using female pronouns, is probably for the best. In reality, she probably always felt like a woman, and if she is transsexual, then she always HAS been a woman. The current theory is that hormones in the womb wire the brain differently from the body... so you have male brains born in female bodies, and female brains born in male bodies.

Secondly, I am on hormone replacement therapy, though it's testosterone instead of estrogen. I found myself opening up to the possibility of different people than I was attracted to before... but I have always been a bit of a whore. ;) What I mean is, she's not going to like men suddenly just because she's on estrogen. If she feels more comfortable with herself and her body, maybe she will open up to the idea... but that's more about you becoming more comfortable with yourself, and thus exploring more things.

Talk to her about it, and your relationship. Share your worries. Maybe you both can go see a therapist together, like couple's counseling? I can also give you lots of links about being transgender, what it's like and what it means. If you feel comfortable PMing me here, and letting me know your general location... country and state works, if you're in the USA... I can try and help you find trans-friendly doctors and therapists.

I highly respect you for not talking to others about it, because that can be so dangerous. You both need support, but waiting to tell other people until your SO is ready is very compassionate and understanding of you.

Good luck. Hang in there.
All through history, the ways of truth and love have always won.
- Ghandi

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Re: My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby catlady » Tue Jul 31, 2012 8:36 pm

Thanks for your replies.

I have spoken to my partner about what pronouns he wants me to use for him and he wants it to be kept to him/ he for the time being.

We live in a very small part of the uk, which has no gay bars and no real support network for this. We did speak to his councillor (which he has for depression) today though which should help on getting us to the next step.

He has spoken to me more about hormones and does not wish to take any at present.

Thanks Again
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Re: My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby Not_A_Cannibal » Tue Aug 28, 2012 9:38 pm

catlady,

I'm going through similar issues, although my boyfriend hasn't considered hormone therapy yet. It is kinda of awkward when you think about where you two will end up, but in the end you can be nothing but supportive.

You say there's no gay bars in your town--maybe you should look for events in other cities that support transgenders. Being a part of those events might help him make a further decision on hormone replacement.

There's never enough you can do to support him, but I hope that helps =)
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Re: My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby shengtian » Wed Aug 29, 2012 9:09 am

If you like women, then you do not mind, if you do not like it then you break up, this is the best solution.
Image
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Re: My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby waymcr » Thu May 09, 2013 12:52 pm

Hello,

I'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend. We have been together for over 4 years. If you look online there is a supplement that increases breasts in men. It will have no effect on the genitals. But what I really wanted to do is ask you how you and your boyfriend are doing. I'm afraid David might leave me for a man if he goes through with this. He has changed so much just from the clothes and makeup. He says he hasn't but I don't think he is really looking. I think he doesn't want to see.
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Re: My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby HesDeltanCaptain » Fri May 10, 2013 1:16 pm

He's very lucky to have you that's for sure. Lots of resources online for people changing. Google like transgender advice or the like. *mod edit* :)
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I pretended to be." - Me.
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Re: My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby lifelongthing » Fri May 10, 2013 4:04 pm

I hope the transitioning goes well for your boy/girlfriend waymcr. You seem very supportive. I would say SnakeSkinSoul made some good points above about it not really (always) being about changing sexual preference, but more a broadening of your own horizon as you become more comfortable with yourself and the man or woman you were all along (just not to other people). I am not trans* though and so these are only friendly thoughts :)
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Re: My boyfriend wants to be a woman

Postby nrtazi » Sun May 12, 2013 11:07 am

Oriendation doesn't change with hormones.

And you can still have sex even if you are on HrT

in fact, even surgically castrated people can still get erections-and cum
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