AZSam wrote:This may be the answer. Maybe I don't fit into the stereotypical role of male/female.
This is hard to answer, because when I lived as a female before I had a very strong male identity and I completely rejected anything female, so I was miserable as a female. Now, this isn't true anymore, I'm much more excepting of the idea of both my masculine and feminine "qualities".
I was on hormones for one year only (the year prior to my surgery). I've had a bilateral mastectomy and had both my uterus and ovaries removed.
You'd be surprised how often someone says "ma'am" instead of "sir", seems to happen most often in the grocery store of all places. I have facial hair, but I'm short, so I wonder if they're not actually looking at me, just glancing and assuming based on my height that I'm a woman. They seem to always correct themselves when they actually look at me.
Probably looking at your height. That's... fail. Really. If someone has FACIAL HAIR you'd think that's a pretty obvious male gender-mark
AZSam wrote:I stopped the hormones originally because of the cost. Later on when I could afford them, I felt I didn't need them and didn't want to lose my hair (call me vain ).
I think people can be blind at times. Funny part is they always get flustered when they realize their mistake. I usually just ignore their blunder.
watching&waiting wrote:I don't think gender changes, so much as your perception of it does.
AZSam wrote:Originally, these thoughts were driven by a desire to not be alone; my parents are elderly and once they're gone, no one I associate with will KNOW me as I truely am: transgender.
Forgottenpast wrote:AZSam wrote:Originally, these thoughts were driven by a desire to not be alone; my parents are elderly and once they're gone, no one I associate with will KNOW me as I truely am: transgender.
OMG - I'm a male-to-female - and I could have written this sentence myself. I've been living and working as a female for nearly 25 years, AND I KNOW SO WELL WHAT YOU MEAN about the 'illusion' of this life. I rarely tell anyone the truth about myself for fear of how this will affect my life: Will I be discriminated against? Will I lose my job? It has happened before, as it's happened with nearly every transsexual I've known who works. It's constant stress and fear of discovery.
I also fear that I'll be completely alone once my parents are gone. I've tried having relationships - with the chasers no less - and as every MtF knows that's generally a deadend.
I, personally, wouldn't want to go back to living as a male, but I have thought of other options.
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