Idek anymore

Ok, so around Febuary I had woken up one day and freaked myself out by asking myself if I was attracted to girls, my mind was telling me I was a full out lesbian, but I knew that wasn't right, I was definately attacted to males but I females I thought were cool too and I could see myself with one pretty much. So I accepted myself as a bi-sexual la-di-da-di-da and then came about 2 weeks ago my gender issues. Kinda the same thing just started asking myself if I was better off a boy. I feel like if I don't become a boy I will have this HUGE regret later in life and im sure these thoughts won't go away. I loved who I was, yes i was very confused on my sexuality, but I liked my body, plus I had dreams of becoming really fricken awesome at makeup. And I loved womens fashion, Now it all just seems like a blur to me. I tried on some boy clothes and it didn't really feel right but when I look at myself in the mirror I don't feel right either. Plus, I have this voice in my head that tells me I have to be a boy to be happy and if I don't beocme one I will have huge regrets. and I feel like that voice isn't me talking. I just miss the me where being a girl was ######6 powerful and like feminism is really big now and women are fighting hard for their rights. But all I can think about is future me being a dude and being satisfied? if thats the right word and then the me who I wanted to be and I see myself not necessarily unhappy but "fake" I also had my first therapy session on the 22nd.

You mention therapy. Have you had opportunity yet to bring this subject up?

I'm cis-male so.... I don't have a whole lot of personal vibe with FtM. Most tests I know of online are geared to MtF. But if you've not heard of it, you might give the Bem Sex Role Inventory a whirl. It will assign a numeric value to Masculine, Feminine, and Androgynous personality traits. As an example, last time I took it I was roughly 62 Feminine, 31 Masculine, 31 Androgynous. There are some who say the test is dated, it was invented some time ago, and that social norms have changed, so actually for an old fart like me it may be more accurate than for a young person. But give it a shot. Let us know what it says.