AubeO wrote:And start yourself a journal (I did, and it has helped me TREMENDOUSLY) of all the memories, all the things he has done, to hurt you. List them all out. You'll find yourself bouncing among sadness, anger, outrage, hurt, and wonder -- wondering why and how he could have done those things, and wondering why and how you kept allowing him to do it.
But just keep writing, every day, and keep reading what you write. Over time, as you read, and continue to record the patterns, they will emerge to you as starkly as the nose on your face, and you will know that you made the right choice.
Just keep going, and come back to this blog for support. It's the best I've ever found!!
I started writing a journal when I met my ex-N friend, something I haven’t done since I was a teen and it did help me put things in the right perspective. After he just vanished from my life without a word (and I stopped wondering why months ago) I started writing letters to him as a part of the healing process, letters he will never see and will never be sent. More than anything else I wished I could have told him all that in person, tell him I knew and understood and accepted a lot of things from the day he came in my town for the first time. I become aware of the N traits fast enough and was reading his emotions much more than he though I did (no, he didn’t fool me-I did that to myself LOL). I tried telling him, but soon I realized it can do more harm than good to him, so I just gave up.
As for letting go and reading FB statuses, I have deleted him from my friends twice since we started being RL friends (we made up once before). I don’t want to know and besides he is smart enough to limit who gets to see what and probably has other accounts-which is fine. In fact it’s all kind of fake so what’s the point? I still find this amusing because I’m the “what you see is what you get” and “honesty at all cost” type of person, so the games he plays online made me laugh more than once. Once he was out of the picture though I decided I don’t need reminders and besides it would be kind of wacky to have him as a FB friend while he is giving me the silent treatment