I'm 35 and after a series of failed relationships, of which retarded ejaculation has been a major contributing factor, i have decided enough is enough! A relationship has just ended for me and although i am devastated i think it has finally given me the kick up the backside that i needed. I'm not saying i have never tried to sort this problem out... i have had counseling on and off for about 7 years with little affect. I've been using pornography for about 20 years and have finally decided that this must be a highly contributing factor to my problem. I have joined SLAA (Sex and Love addicts anonymous) and had my first meeting last Thursday to try to stop the porn habit. Its early days but i will keep up attendance and try to stay focused.
Since the end of my relationship about 3 weeks ago i have been in a pretty dark place. I contemplated ending it all and had serious feelings of depression and anxiety regarding no one that would ever put up with my problem, i felt old, ugly and so tired. I quit my job and was so bad i just couldn't function and just wanted to curl up and die. I dragged myself to the local doctor and after an emotional consultation was prescribed Citalopram. This was around two weeks ago and although they have kicked in a bit I'm still depressed. As mentioned before i have spent years trying to sort this problem out. I have had many many different types of therapy, i even tried surrogate sex therapy where you have therapy and then ###$ the therapist. Nothing seemed to work and i guess the resignation to this thought was when i really thought whats the ######6 point, i don't work and that's that!
I've done a lot of reading about my problem on the internet over the past week, in fact I've almost treated it like my job! kinda 9-5. A lot of what i read described my problem exactly although didn't really offer much solution. I did come across one thread that made me feel really optimistic! It talked about fleshlites (imitation vagina) and how to re-sensitize yourself. This was the link to the site. I found it very useful and have ordered my fleshlite and am looking forward to trying the techniques. This was the site...
I have been referred to a psycho sexual clinic by my doctor and should get an appointment within the next 4-8 weeks although I'm not sure the problem is psychological. I think its down to porn, excessive masturbation and desensitization. I hoping that all i have to do to recondition my body to find to get the stimulus its needs from a fake vagina and then the real thing.
Today is an optimistic day!
Please please please if you have any success stories or information that can aid my quest i would be very grateful.
Thanks in advance,