When I first started getting really depressed--to the point that I began actively avoiding even close friends (of whom I had precious few!)--it was difficult to decide who was doing the avoiding! Yes, I was
avoiding them (refusing to take phone calls, refusing invitations to parties, the usual) and even when I tried to explain that I just didn't have the energy or just plain felt too "down" to do anything, I know it hurt their feelings. (I'm not implying that this is what you
are doing, just relating my story in hopes that it might shed some light.
Then again, just to make it more confusing (!) I think that part
of the reason I felt depressed to begin with is that I had been "losing" friends for years. I had gone from very popular and outgoing in grammar school to extremely shy, quiet, and suffering from extremely low self-esteem by my very early teens. I was bullied a lot and rejected by the now "popular" girls, so much that I wished I could have become invisible! My self-esteem was in tatters and not even the small circle of friends I had left could "fix" that.
But at the same time I was pushing my friends away (even if unintentionally), yes, I did often feel that they were avoiding me. I think those of us who suffer from depression, hypersensitivity and low self-esteem sometimes can become a little paranoid--I don't mean clinically paranoid but just enough to start thinking no one likes us, no one wants us around, things like that. It certainly didn't help in my case when I discovered that my former best friend had in fact decided that she was
going to avoid me because somehow I had become the cause of all HER problems!
(That was many years ago and to this day she will have absolutely nothing to do with me.)
Also--unfortunately--depressed ppl aren't a lot of fun to be around. So even ppl who sincerely care about us might, without even being aware of it, begin to avoid us when we're in a low mood. They don't do it deliberately, but we're feeling very aware of anything negative around us and so we might easily jump to the conclusion that our friends no longer want anything to do with us. I don't think that's true of real
friends--I think it's partly that without realizing it, they're avoiding being around a depressed person, and partly because they don't understand what we're going thru and they don't know how to help, what to say, how to behave.
I don't know if this has been any help but sending you lots of hugs!!