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Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

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Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby RunawayFaye » Fri Jan 16, 2015 8:04 pm

My name is Faye and I somehow have found myself physically dependent on Kratom. I was able to quit heroin a couple years ago and I've been sober from all drugs and alcohol for about five months now. I've been dabbling with Kratom on and off for about five years but over this past summer my usage skyrocketed for a variety of physical and psychological reasons. It's sold at head shops and I've always been told it was "non-addictive" and "non-habit-forming," thus the basis of its appeal. I now find myself experiencing what essentially feels like a heroin withdrawal when I don't have it. I promised myself I would never again be enslaved by a substance, and here I am again. I honestly never saw this coming or I would never have even touched it in the first place. I always thought it was harmless and now I'm woefully addicted and desperate to get of if this crap. I take such a large amount every day and I am slowly but surely tapering down, but I can't fathom another opiate withdrawal. It terrifies me. I'm type I Bipolar and also have ADHD and I take my medications as prescribed like clockwork because I can't handle the emotional pain. The thing is, the psychological effects of kratom withdrawal are worse than the physical ones, which is virtually unimaginable. The depression, self-loathing, anxiety, and restlessness are too much to bear and I'm desperate to stop. I'm in graduate school on top of it and the workload is so intense that it makes cutting down even harder. I'm SO desperate for help and freedom from this insidious substance. I'm at a loss as to what to do because I don't want methadone or suboxone. I feel like that's just a step backwards. Can anyone help me??????
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Re: Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby Callalily » Fri May 29, 2015 3:52 pm

I know this is an old post but just wanted to say I'm going through the exact same thing. I've been using kratom daily for about two and a half months now, but it didn't start getting really bad until I switched to tincture about a month ago.

I've been through painkiller and heroin addiction and this is worse. I feel sick all the time. My kidneys ache and I have terrible stomach pain. I sleep at least 12 hours a day. I vacillate between sadness, rage and numb detachment. Yesterday I picked all the skin off my face without feeling it. I can't do simple things like go to the store or get my oil changed. I have never felt so completely out of control in my life.

I'm planning to switch to plain leaf and taper, because I hear FST kratom withdrawal is as bad as heroin or worse. I'm going to keep a journal of it here, either in this forum or on my PF blog. I'm hoping that recording the journey will keep me honest. I'm also hoping someone will see this and realize that kratom is neither safe nor non-addictive.

I hope you are doing better than you were in January. Thanks for starting this thread.
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Re: Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby Callalily » Sun Jul 05, 2015 8:16 pm

I hope it's cool to use this thread as a diary of my own experiences because I feel like I'm going to go nuts if I don't write them down somewhere. I am now 5 days into withdrawal from liquid kratom. I did try to taper but it didn't work. In part because I kept cheating and in part because the head-shop tincture I use is really strong and seems to vary wildly in composition between batches, making dosage difficult and unreliable.

So far this is less difficult physically than withdrawal from opioids or heroin. It's still pretty ######6 awful. Emotionally it's about the same: sadness, fear, despair, self-loathing. As with H withdrawal the longer it goes on the more impossible and pointless it feels. The initial "Let's do this" momentum wears off and there's no end in sight. There will be heartbreaking little moments where you feel like things are improving and then all of a sudden you wake up feeling worse than ever. Those are the parts where you feel like throwing in the towel and the only thing that keeps you going is blind faith that you're headed in the right direction. It is like being in a very long tunnel and you can't see light at either end.

Last night I caved and had a mL to sleep and I woke up feeling totally broken, like I blew it and am right back at square one. I slept until 3PM and woke up feeling so angry and helpless. I spent like an hour sobbing, "I can't do this, I'm never going to be able to quit." I am trying to put it in perspective. Last week I was drinking two bottles a day. So I have made progress. It's there. I have set myself back but it's there. It's hard to make good decisions when you have been flopping around in bed for six hours and it's dawn. I've heard that SEALs only sleep for about four hours total the whole of Hell Week. So: sleep is for pussies. Hoo yah.

Fingers crossed I'll be able to report that things are better next Sunday. Hope you are doing well OP.
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Re: Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby Callalily » Wed Jul 22, 2015 8:43 am

It is 4:30 in the morning and this is my fourth day without sleep. Feel pretty bad. Random crying jags and sudden rages. Just read that the U.S. Govt is impounding Kratom shipments as of a few weeks ago. I am sorry for the opiate users who will now be without. This is why we can't have nice things. I never know what to do with myself when I can't sleep. Is it better to lie here with my thoughts or just accept reality and watch The IT Crowd until dawn? Just hoping this will be over in a couple of weeks. Please lord.
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Re: Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby Oliveira » Wed Jul 22, 2015 10:04 am

Hi Callalily,

did you discuss this with a doctor? Perhaps it would be possible for you to go on a SHORT TERM sleeping aid, like two weeks, so you don't have to suffer like this?

Big hugs. I hope it will be over soon.
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Re: Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby Callalily » Wed Jul 22, 2015 5:14 pm

Thank you so much for writing, this is a very lonely experience. I never thought to do that, I will definitely ask. Thank you!
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Re: Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby JessiRae » Fri Aug 21, 2015 5:25 pm

Hi Callalily,

Your story is heartbreaking, and I want to try and share the little wisdom I do know about substance abuse and addiction. Many who try to detox at home actually endanger themselves because of the unexpected health hurdles, conditions, and yes, instances of relapse.

Relapse happens at home because you don't have access to medical help, and as you've said, it's often difficult for people to not use in the face of emotional and psychological stress. If you're considering addiction treatment, you really should go, as you'll have access to 24 hour medical ans psychiatric monitoring.

I think a key point to zero in on is that you were clean for a number of years and hopelessly relapsed. I believe this is because you never really address the reasons WHY your coping mechanism are set to use drugs. Once you're able to discover the underlying causes of addiction, you'll be able to see the problem before it happens and seek an alternative route.

This is easier said than done, but with treatment counselors and addiction specialists can walk you through step by step.

To touch on using methadone and suboxone: many people don't feel maintenance treatment is the best way to go- and I'm not here to sway you in anyway- however, medically assisted treatment has been PROVEN to prevent relapse and help recovering patients get back on track to recovery. Remember this type of therapy is never supposed to last forever- only as long as the chances of relapse are high, and if you are dedicated to getting better, and you really learn the life skills you need to overcome your addiction, there is no reason I can see that you would be on medical maintenance for long.

And even if you are, if it helps you stay clean and productive, isn't that what medications are supposed to do? Stopping before you're ready can have the same effect.

Do you know about naltrexone? It's a non-opiate based medication which essentially does the same thing as suboxone, in terms of keeping users clean, but it DOES NOT cause withdrawal and is not addictive (according to study and reports). It's becoming the favored maintenance drug for both alcoholism and drug addiction.

And yes, Kratom is addictive :(( It's in bath salts and I think flakka too, but I'm not quite sure about flakka.

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Re: Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby Callalily » Sun Oct 18, 2015 9:52 pm

It has been three months and I am still fighting this. I am now down to 1tsp of powder a night to sleep; if I don't take it I will thrash around in bed the entire night. But I think that tsp is actually making things worse, because it means every day I have to come off it again. The nighttime dose seems to last about 12 hours and then symptoms start in. They are mostly emotional. I am so depressed I can't get out of bed. This is interspersed with severe anxiety/paranoia, and occasionally crushing sadness. After seven months' daily use it's like I don't remember who I am. I feel hopeless. I feel like I'm never going to feel good again. I know that it's not true, that my brain will right itself, but I'm afraid of how long that's going to take. I've never been addicted to anything this long before. I feel like I am not strong enough to do the things that should help, like exercising and going to Meetings; I just don't have the will or the energy. I can't seem to do anything but sit here and watch movies and play video games and occasionally have a cigarette. For the first time in my life I am really afraid that I have gotten myself into something I can't get out of. I'm trying not to think too hard about anything because I know fear and sadness and despair and guilt are going to push me right back into heavy use. I am trying to distract myself. I hope that's what I should be doing. I wish I had any idea how long this would last.

I know I will be okay if I just keep going. It helps to talk about it.
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Re: Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby northwoods23 » Thu Oct 27, 2016 8:20 pm

Ah, this is tough to read. My heart goes out to all of you, 'cause I've been through Kratom addiction too. I definitely understand the psychological side-effects of withdrawal. I remember waking up in the morning and feeling so hopeless, just crying. Feeling like my skin was crawling when I'd go too long without it.

It's weird, though... Because I was finally forced to quit when I went back to school (in a state where Kratom is illegal). I think it has something to do with the change of environment, but it was nowhere near as bad as I had anticipated. After 1 or 2 days, I basically forgot that I was even in withdrawals, asking myself, "what was I so afraid of?" It was weird how easy it was after I changed locations.

Although, I'm not saying this to belittle anyone's experience. When I was actively addicted to Kratom, it absolutely felt near impossible to stop. The withdrawals were terrifying. I guess, the best advice I can give, is to take any change of scenery as an opportunity to quit. Even if it's a vacation or holiday break from school. I know it seems scary, but getting yourself out of your deeply-ingrained routines really does wonders for the way we perceive withdrawals. I know this might not be the most practical advice, but it's what worked for me. I hope for the best for all of you. I know it's not easy.
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Re: Does anyone have experience with Kratom? HELP!!!

Postby smithjon » Thu Feb 02, 2017 11:28 am

No,i have no experience with kratom. There are many people who are using this herbal medicine Kratom. This herbal medicine Kratom is not as high as a recreational drug and that is because it is not a recreational drug.
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