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Seeking Real Stories: Meth Addicts/Tweakers need not reply

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Seeking Real Stories: Meth Addicts/Tweakers need not reply

Postby Functional » Sat May 13, 2006 8:17 am

I want to know how a fuctional meth user overcame this addiction. I don't mean the tweakers and geekers who stay up all night for days at a time...pick their faces...steal from friends/family who don't have any morals and values stories. People who are like that and blame meth disgust me... its not the meth... its their shady personalities and they need somthing to excuse thier shady behavior.

I have been using for three years...I am a educated mother with career and family home. I go to work everyday, sleep every night, take care of my child...I do what I am suppose to do and function well.

I would like to stop using this drug without having to go to rehab, detox...etc. I need to know that it is possible to stop without having those resources which I know are available to me. I need to hear some real life stories. Thank you.
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Postby MSBLUE » Sat May 13, 2006 11:31 pm

Hello functional.

Tho some of the members might take your post as an insult, the drug does take over your values, even in those that had them.

I have been in recovery 11 years now.

How did I do it. Well all that you described happened to me. A person (me) seeking euphoria with the wrong enviroment and substance, got hooked, I couldn't get away from it. I frequented the nightclubs prior, and then during and after. It wasn't until after I stopped going where the vampires lived and hung out that I got away from it being flashed under my nose by dealers that profitted from my addiction and loss of reality. I thought they were my friends. shaaaa.

I started hiking, hiking and hiking, everyday I walked 5 miles, then started weight training and got in shape again, rebuilt the muscle that the drug ate, and began to part time model again. I met a man with the same problem, he was so proud to have met a girl that was "Drug free" wow, he said it, I was I really was. It felt so good for someone to recognize the pain I had to go thru to see my life was fading fast. He followed me down the journey to freedom, and we have now been together over 10 years. Drug free. Oh it's still there , but I don't go around it. I have to stay away from it. No matter what.

Some friends turning to prostitution for it, some jail. Others lost nice homes with boats cars, nice jobs. It broke my heart. As I couldn't help them. It happens slowly, but it will happen. tho not to you YET.

Then OCt 6, 1995 my best friend od'd. I've never looked back. It took that for me to truely feel the pain. MOre pain than I believed I could ever handle. He had invited me over for a shot, just before he did himself. I declined, those were his last words to me, besides "I love you".
He sat down on his couch, just got some strong stuff, and did his second shot, Bam his heart blew.

It can happen to you.

WElcome to the world of sobriety, and freedom without psychosis.
You have taken your first step.
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Thank you

Postby Functional » Sun May 14, 2006 12:00 am

I don't want to insult anyone...I guess that is a part of the drug I don't understand or have not come face to face with.

I'm sorry about your friend...I also lost a friend he was shot in the face for his dope and money.

What scares me the most is the depression and anxiety feelings I will encounter once I stop using...Is there anything you can suggest to help get through this trying time?

Thank you so much for your time and thoughts.
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Postby MSBLUE » Sun May 14, 2006 6:15 am

Many people start meth to self medicate for underlying conditions .

It could be possible to see your doctor, and explain about your upcoming or ongoing depression. I assume you had this prior to use, right? That is so common, as the drug is an antidepressant, first called dioxin(methamphetamine). So it would be good to keep very very busy , one,
two get back to nature as much as possible.
Alot of people take benzos when they come off, but valium is the only thing I would take, as xanax are even more addictive than meth.
One week at a time, you start forgetting about it, until you get around those you did it with, or the bars. So you have to adjust to a new lifestyle. that won't be too hard.....as when you disappear so will your so called friends, that aren't helping. As in my situation.

If you want to be addicted to something, or need a crutch as many of us users and recovered users still do, get addicted to working out. The endorphines beat meth for everything from pain to anxiety, depression, self esteem(which you must work on at the same time, to keep yourself mentally strong and aware). Care about yourself. Because others do, esp. that baby.

Rehab and detox can help, and I would never tell you not to go,if that is what you need. WE are each different. Our dosages and tolerances are different, and so is our ability to overcome individual addictions. This may your last one , I hope it is.

It won't be fun, but it only takes 3 days for meth to exit the bloodstream, the rest is psychological, and if you feel paranoid the first two days, that is normal. After that if you get depressed I'd say it's an underlying condition, and you should not self medicate, you then become dual diagnosis. Like putting fire out with gas.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm so sorry for your friend as well.
there were many that year, but he was my best friend. Not a drug buddy.
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Postby agnosiousd » Sat Apr 25, 2009 5:49 pm

I was addicted to dexidrine, ended up with some real life
problems. for someone with life problems, they need help
outside of themselves the sooner the better. for someone
who is maintaining discipline and has resolve, that outside
help shouldn't be shunned, so keep it in mind.

taper off your dosage over time. do it slowly, if you do it
from current dose to 0, over a course of a month, you will
be uncomfortable; (snapping at people, irratable and irational,
not very positive towards your loved ones)

take two months or 3, if you find your mood bad, revert
to a previous dose lvl for a few days or a week, slow the process
down. you must accept some discomfort, thats what it feels like
to earn your freedom but you can restrict the lvl of discomfort.
your mood can get VERY sour when withdrawing.

olanzapine was superb! in specific, this drug.
it ELIMINATES within hours, the desperation and psychotic
features, the more extreme mental foccii while withdrawing.

you can quit moderate or low meth addiction almost cold turkey
with olanzapine (or another antipsychotic) always under
the watch of a psychiatrist whom you have told the truth to
about your usage.

I was given about a tenth of my previous dose of amphetamine,
the first day and nothing the next, and fairly large doses of olanzapine.

left to my own recognizance a week later i continued using olanzapine and avoided my dealer.

I cant recall the exact dosages but i tended to do about 25-40
pharmaceutical grade caps a day for a few days and then crash.

so for a less abusive amphetamine user, you wont need
anywhere near the dose i had. (10 mg for 2 months)
you may even have success with the lowest available
dose of 2.5mg which makes side effects almost unnoticable.

antipsychotics are not nessicerily for psychotic people.
they do a number on anxiety, and improve many mood disorders.

I continue to take a low dose which improves my depression
a great deal, but not from being an anti depressant, rather
by reducing my anxious tendencies and my social phobias
thus reducing depression.

also, you could get a perscription for dexidrine and use that
_Properly_ with consultation from a Dr.

its bad stuff because its addictive. its JUST AS ADDICTIVE. its just less potent, so it takes more to equal the same dose, so its just another trap.

ag.
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Re: Seeking Real Stories: Meth Addicts/Tweakers need not reply

Postby danica » Tue Jun 16, 2009 10:12 am

Old post I know (originally) but for anyone reading ... I was heavily addicted to meth for 7 years. Also functional. I worked to use and used to work, didn't party or get involved in the outside elements. I did it all ways imaginable. I'd stay clean for a few months and then relapse. Those last two years I was using every day ... easily going through $100 every 2. It was very bad. I lived a double life in every way.

I had to hit rock bottom and that was losing my freedom for a while. I missed my family, desperately and lived for the day to see them again. The experience from that, the twists, turns and drama within my incarceration, was life changing.

I got out in 1998 and have never looked back. I even ended up face to face with the drug a year ago when it ended up literally on my front lawn. Picked up an article of clothing some stranger had dropped and out fell a huge pipe of the crap. Over 10 years later I had waited for that day, to really know if I'd beat it. I called a neighbor over and had them dispose of it ... I had NO cravings, no desire, total apathy and some level of being disgusted. When I think back on a decade ago, I never thought I could manage that. Shortly after that, an old family friend we hadn't seen in many years took me for a drive to talk about old times (he was never a user when I knew him) and he brought out a baggie. Same reaction and I demanded he take me home. NO desire, no temptation ... all it reminded me of was being ripped away from my family. It felt so good to flip it off and NOT care. That in itself was the greatest high and all natural!

I tell all that because there IS hope. The consequences of your actions have to frighten you enough that it's not worth risking. Associate the drug in your mind with your biggest fear regarding it ... You also need to not "live the life" and hang out with people who use. I think that was key to my recovery.

It can be done but you really do have to want it enough ... want to break free ENOUGH that the answer is within you. Nobody else can do it for you.
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
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Re: Seeking Real Stories: Meth Addicts/Tweakers need not reply

Postby Kyliet78 » Thu Jul 09, 2009 7:11 pm

My name is Kylie, I am 31 yrs old and I overcame the addiction to meth on my own. I started using when I was 21 and I just did it everyonev in a while at first, then it became a problem I used everyday, 2-3 times or more however much I had or could get. I did walk away from it at one time, My Mother was diagnosed with cervical cancer and i thought that if my mother was going to die she would not die seeing her daughter as a meth addict. I moved from one side of Texas to the other and I did stop using for a while till I met a guy that lived a few doors down from me. He asked me one night if I would be up for doing a line with him I hesatated and I excused myself to the restroom, when I came back he had it all ready and I at that point thought, it wont hurt to do it this one time. Yeah that was the wrong thing to do, I used again off and on for 3 years.
When I was 25 I met the man that I had no idea would become my husband and yes he was a tweeker, thats how we met. We did use meth alot, to keep us going, just wanted that high. I was going to school to become a massage therapist and he worked alot to support our habit. We never really partied or got high with friends it was mostly just he and I. Man my house was clean all the time, never stopped, I had all the energy I needed.
Then one day I sat down and realized that I wanted a family and I wanted to have a life without this poison in it. I layed on my bed and had the breakdown. I saw my future with this going nowhere fast and I realized I had to change that. When he came home from work I was asleep and he woke me up and said he had some on the way. I told him that I didn't want it around my house and if he was going to do it he had to leave too. It took a while with the few set backs, the occasional using and it got to where it didn't feel right, like it made me sick for days after doing just one line.
We decided on Feburary 27, 2004 that we would never touch it again, we never did. One year and one week after we had quit we concieved or son, he was born December 1,2006 and one week before his first birthday we found out we were going to have another baby. Our daughter was born July 23, 2008.
I guess what all this leads to is you have to decide that you dont want to do it. I still crave it, the taiste, the smell the feeling but man my babies come first. If you want to quit the best thing I can tell you is to get as far away from it as you can, the friends, the dealers, anything, you have to get as far away from it as you can, if you really want to quit using it you have to leave it alone!!!! Walk away and nver look back, its hard, im not going to say any part of it is easy. I have been off of it for 5 years, I did it on my own but you have to want to!!! Good luck and God Bless cause it takes both!!!


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Re: Seeking Real Stories: Meth Addicts/Tweakers need not rep

Postby MarkBetty » Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:29 am

You're in some serious, serious denial. SERIOUS denial.
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Re: Seeking Real Stories: Meth Addicts/Tweakers need not rep

Postby Darrin » Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:55 pm

Functional,

I used meth and I have to say, just because you are functional doesn't not make you any better or worse than another person in a bad place. Do you know each and every person's story? Do you know what else they may be suffering from which would cause more extreme behavior? You may have classified me as one of these "tweakers" but I later found MY root problem was bipolar disorder. When I was treated for bipolar disorder everything fell into place and the using came to a stop. I do not consider myself a bad person, quite the opposite in fact. But I did do some things I regret due to meth. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone else ...EVER! You should have a little more tolerance and keep from judging others as you have NO clue as to what is going on in their lives. Granted, there are good people and bad people out there but you can NOT judge who is who by how they react to meth or any other drug. Be mindful of this.
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My Story of Bipolar Disorder & Crystal Meth

http://SavedbySlowDeath.com/
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Re: Seeking Real Stories: Meth Addicts/Tweakers need not rep

Postby lastlittlebit » Sat Nov 05, 2011 3:52 am

I just joined this forum last night, and I did it because I needed to reply to your post.
I was just like you once. I had a house, a husband, and 4 kids. We owned our own contracting company, and were fairly well off. I was a stay at home mom, my house was always clean, and I was a loving, attentive and damn good mother to my kids. On the outside, we looked like a happy, normal family. No one knew my husband was abusing me, and no one knew I was a meth addict. I started after the birth of my 4th baby. I had some weight I wanted to drop, and I told myself that as soon as I did, i'd quit. I lost the weight alright..60 lbs, but I didnt quit the meth. I was totally functional, just like you. I noticed the meth made it easier to deal with my husbands abusive "episodes", and that was how i rationalised my use. The next thing I knew, 5 years had gone by, and rarely did a day go by in all that time that i wasnt using. Long story short, I ended up in rehab, got clean, and finally divorced my abusive husband. I was clean for 5 years. Then, one day, I was offered a line, and i ended up using daily again. In the beginning , I was totally functional, and like you, ignorantly passed judgement on those "other" addicts. The ones you look at with disgust. I, like you, just knew i'd never be like them. Not me, I was too smart, and had it under control. That was almost years ago. I went from snorting, to smoking, then to using IV. I lost control and lost my kids, my house, my car...I lost everything. I looked in the mirror one day and it hit me hard that I had become one of "those" people..the ones I swore i'd never be. My behaviors were erratic, my resoning and impulse control were gone..all that i cared about was how much dope i had left. I was no longer functional. Now, i'm still fighting it. I have nothing left, and live with my boyfriend the house he owns, and shares with 2 dealers. I graduated from nursing school during my 5 years clean, and still havent taken my licensing exam. I rarely leave the house, and am on psyche meds for PTSD, severe depression, GAD, and a few other things. Just recently, my 3 adult kids told me I couldnt be a part of their lives anymore..until I get treatment. The guilt, and shame I feel is always there, yet I keep pushing back the date im scheduled to enter rehab. I have no money, and am unemployable. Why am I telling you this? Because I was just like you. I thought the way you do. I judged other addicts and thought of them as less than human. I was functional....I started just like you, and now, i've become the person i swore id never be. You, my dear are deep in denial and need help, or I can promise you, it will take you down, just like it did me. You say you're not like me...what I say is you're not like me YET.
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