by Guest » Wed Mar 22, 2006 7:39 am
Way to go!!!
Your story sound very familiar. i also lost a best friend to cocaine od. One year after my cousin, with animal tranquilizers.
After that I didn't have the need for being addicted or even participating socially. But that was 10 years ago, and I still have urges. All I have to do is think of all the bad. Homeless, violence, jail, no job, no family, screwed up friends, thieves, you know the story, it never changes.
Altered states have been in mankind for 1000's of years, but I still have so many questions, why we do this, what need are we really feeding? Being someone else, feeling no pain of life, needed energy, i.e. meth, that appears useful but is actually self destructive?
Do we hate who we are that much? I did, but now and then to get off my soapbox, I have a new journey a new challenge and experiment, see if I can live life for real!!! If I come out of that alive, I feel I have accomplished my experiment. Since we all know we can die from drugs, that's not a challenge.
But like you I am grateful to that force as well., that kept me alive, though not out of harms way. But we live with our choices. Mine were wrong.