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Brother abusive to Parents

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Brother abusive to Parents

Postby healthstudent2017 » Tue May 30, 2017 3:34 am

Hello everyone,

I am seeking for advice and to find the most effective method.

For some years now, my brother’s behavior has been very abusive towards my parents.
In the past, I have confronted him and it seems to make things worse. As he will retaliate towards my parents. My mother has recounted to me, the things he has done and said at home, including at his place of work and the girl he’s dated.
As my mother told me, the girl that he was dating no longer is interested in seeing him. The girl no longer talks to him and blocked him. He was planning on getting revenge on her. Someone my mom was able to talk him out of it.
When they talk about work, my brother always complains. Either because they give him too much work, if they don’t, then he complains that he isn’t making enough money. He speaks negatively about his co-workers, how some are incompetent, including his superiors. (He works for *mod edit* a federal agency) He taunts the police, because he works for a branch of the government, he has this feeling of being above the law. He brags and boasts about the things he does and gets away with. There was an incident, where the police in the street were doing a routine stop, my brother drove by, with music blaring, the police chased him, my brother pulled up to his place of work. He told the police they couldn’t do nothing to him since they were in federal property. To my knowledge, they didn’t do nothing to him. He talked his way out of it.
Another incident, was he got pulled over by police, he drove till he reached the house’s driveway. No one in my family was home to witness it, except for neighbors. He said he got handcuffed and that he demanded to know why they had stopped him. He only stated to the police that he knew his rights and that he worked for the government. As a tax payer, he pays for their wages. Once again, the police let him go.
He boasts that he is not afraid of the police.
Years ago, in a car accident, as told by my father, this was just a fender bender in the highway. The police arrived at the scene, while he was getting his belongings from the trunk, my brother grabbed his baseball bat in a manner which made the officers prepare to draw their guns. Somehow, an officer told him to calm down. Very odd behavior, when you have the police arrive to help.
Just recently, my brother stated to my mother that he is going to run things down in the house. Before he has not paid rent, just a few days ago, he says he will pay rent and dictate what will be done. This worries me, since my parents are getting old and is taking a toll on their emotional well being. My brother is in his late twenties. He doesn’t seem to reason. My brother and I are estranged in relationship. If I do anything, he use it as means to hurt my parents. Just a few days ago, he said that he can destroy the whole house if he wanted to.
Regarding, verbal abuse, my mother said, he will not show up to my parents funeral if they die. This was very hurtful to my parents. He speaks badly of the neighbors. If he wants, he can report them to the authorities, because there are a lot of people living in there. Frequently, he drives his car at high speeds in the neighborhood. Like any street, there are kids playing outside. This is a high risk of an accident.
He is not the type of person that will admit his wrong doing. Less likely seek any counseling or help.
One time, my father and I went to the police for advice. Unfortunately, we were told unless the law has been broken or someone is assaulted, then they can do something.
My parents well being is important to me. Including anyone else, even though he is my brother, I feel he is being a menace to society.
He's done more things but these are highlights of some of his behavior.
May I find the right answers with your comments and advice.
God bless!
Last edited by realityhere on Tue May 30, 2017 6:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: privacy
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Re: Brother abusive to Parents

Postby quietgirl2538 » Tue May 30, 2017 11:37 am

My first thoughts are to tell him to leave and change the locks to the house. If he breaks in, then report him to the police. If your parents can't do that, would you be willing to? That's the first thing that comes to mind. What do you think?
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

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Re: Brother abusive to Parents

Postby healthstudent2017 » Tue May 30, 2017 10:03 pm

@ quietgirl2538
Thank you for your response!
A few days ago, he made a check payable to the landlord. That will most likely give him some legal leverage. With such actions, it has prompted my parents to consider moving out.

If there are any other suggestions. I greatly appreciate them!
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Re: Brother abusive to Parents

Postby quietgirl2538 » Wed May 31, 2017 7:48 am

Yes, I'd definitely consider moving out ASAP and not having him in their lives. It's very doable to not have toxic people in your life. No communication, no contact.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

Dx: Bipolar I
Lamictal 300mg
Wellbutrin XL 300mg
Vraylar 4.5 mg
diazepam p.r.n 10 mg twice a day

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