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Am I abused

Open Discussions About Domestic Abuse.

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Am I abused

Postby Fish9547 » Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:37 am

So I live in a house with my two sisters and my mom in which I love. The thing that gets me bothered is my father. He is a firm believer in old fashioned spankings. The bad part about it, is that he will hit for the most random and dumbest reasons, even with a mistake. Here are some examples

When I was little, he gave me a bowl of orange slices and told me to finish them before I could watch T.V. again. I finished it, and jumping to conclusions, he got up and hit me... It hurt enough that I cried (but I'm physically and emotionally weak) later I told him I finished, he apologized but things like that where he jumps to conclusions still happen today

I was pulling some weed outside in the front lawn with my sister. I'm slow at yard work, so within I'd say 20 minutes my younger sister had finished do the weeds. I stayed out for another 10 minutes when I was called inside and hit for "being too slow/not working" (it hurt alot, but not as much to bruise me). Now I am stereotyped in my family as the kid who doesn't do any work. It's partially true, but it still hurts my feelings.

Final example. So my dad has put this strict rule that we can't game online, chat with friends on the phone, etc. So I got a game called Clash of Clans on my mom's tablet and started a team with kids that I knew. He found out, and he hit me so hard, it did leave like 2 visible bruises. Other times he hit me that left a mark was when I kinda closed a door on him, called him anti social Infront of one of his friends, etc

So I get that some (like the last example) were kinda deserved, but still, I don't believe he should have hit hard enough to leave a mark. Also, the second example is one of the main reasons I hate him and think I am abused. He also kinda emotionally abused me, calls me "ingrate" says that I'm the laziest kid he ever met, etc. I get how that is partially true, he needs to realize that I'm just a teen *mod edit* and that I'm not an adult with the maturety (or at least not that much).

So as you can see, I am in denial about this... So can you guys please help me. I have some questions...

1. Am I abused?

2. If I were to take him to court when I grow up or if something bad in which I get more bruises (I'm ready to break) would it get anywhere?

3. Would it be worth it to go to foster or run away if it got to the situation of Q2?

4. Do you think I'm overdramatic about this

Thanks for answers... And help
Last edited by quietgirl2538 on Fri Jan 20, 2017 5:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: small edit--pm to follow
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Re: Am I abused

Postby IntheMiddleofNowhere » Fri Feb 24, 2017 5:04 am

I don't think I have any great answers for you, but since nobody responded yet, I'd like to chime in.

I believe that abuse is common in most households, unfortunately. There is such a high prevalence of mental illness these days, and so many broken homes, with broken people, that SOME form of abuse is occurring in many households.

That being said, frequency does not make something okay. You sound kind of hard on yourself, or extremely honest. Even IF you decide that you could try much harder, it still does not make the way he is treating you okay. Is it abusive? Absolutely. Should you run away, or into foster care? Not as a first step.

I would go to your mother, and ask to see a counselor... or just start by seeing a school counselor. Discuss everything you mentioned in your post with the therapist. Explain that you don't know if what your dad is doing is abuse, but you know that it doesn't make you feel loved. You deserve to be loved, and you deserve to be treated with love. You are worth it. If your parents don't support you in your journey to see a counselor, then my level of concern for your environment would increase.
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