My wife

Hello,
My wife was physically, emotionally, verbally, and sexually abusive to me. I just took it until it started affecting me in ways that I didn't want it to. I started standing up for myself and her behaviors got worse. She had started talking about getting life insurance for the family and had placed a toothpick in my food to try to throw me off balance. It took my second time going to the the county court to file for divorce for her to stop in February. In the middle of April I wanted to go to church somewhere and she said that she would divorce me because she can't handle that. In the meantime I learned to enforce my boundaries with her and to start recognizing the smaller abuses she attempted toward me.
Now she isn't like that except maybe a little emotionally abusive. I've started to show gestures of love toward her and she seems happy. However, I will never forget how she acted toward me when the kids were around. She still won't go to a psychologist, talk to people she's isolated, and won't talk about her past. I think she's just hiding and is not dealing with her issues.
What I want to know is if she will get violent again?

Will it happen again ??

The part about the psychologist is intriguing. Are you aware of any childhood issues that may be a contributing factor in all of this? It is not always the case but sometimes it is.

If it is, there may be certain triggers for her, that ignite these behaviours.

Is she frustrated with life. Have her expectations exceeded reality ?

Female violence against males is massively under reported. The Dunedin study indicates it is split almost 50/50. The issue is that when women start physical violence because they are often weaker they are damaged more than the male. Also culturally men hate to even admit that their partner physically abuses them.

I saw my mother and father fight from when I can remember until he was forced at when I was 7. I never saw her bleed, but I clearly remember when she opened him up. He just took it.

She said she was molested on a train, left alone as a child, her parents had an affair. She was in a home confinement for stealing money but said her coworker put her up to it. She told me that after marriage. She says she doesn't remember a lot from it. Her brother hit her though the psychologist wondered how much of that is true because she lied to the psychologist and was caught. After the psychologist stopped sympathizing with her she got quiet and she then didn't say anything to the psychologist. To this day she still doesn't want to go.

I suppose I'm testing her now. The psychologist thought Borderline PD. But the fact that she also punished me for not following her thinking and actions, seeing things that were not there, hearing voices telling her to boil the baby makes me think it's also NPD and perhaps even Psychopathy. None of this stuff goes on now as far as I know but it feels like she does small things in trying to get back control. They don't weaken me and now anger me but I still won't argue with her in front of the kids when she starts stuff.
If she's psychically or sexually violent again she's out of here. The emotional stuff is harder for me to figure out since I was diagnosed with Asperger's but I am learning, journaling, and responding better. This has forced me to learn so much about myself.
However, I don't want to stay with her for that reason. I think I am a little unsure still

She has issues, anyone coming through that will have some, how much they are affected varies.

Sometimes people will push against people so as to prove that they do care and they will not run away. That can get pretty bad at times. Not saying this is it, but from her background you will have some interesting stuff.

The lying can be tiresome but is often a learnt survival thing rather than dishonesty. I am guessing you are getting better at reading that, and knowing some areas where it happens and others where it does not.

I don't understand what you mean by her pushing against me to prove that she does care and not run away. Could you elaborate?
She's said to me so many times in the past that she wants a divorce. It was part of her verbal and emotional abuse. She doesn't say that now of course because it could really happen.
You're correct that I can tell when she's lying.
Right now I'm acting like I did when we first got married I think. Trying to show her I love her and that she's safe now. I have a morning shift job that makes decent money and she still does some stuff but in a month I'll probably have to work night shift, become OT eligible, and make less money which will create more of a stressful situation for her. She insists on handling the finances but hates overtime and night shift. Her behavior could be worse after that happens and I'm bracing for that.
I have to know that I can trust her. I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering if she'll do it again.

What I mean, with pushing away, is they are a objectionable deliberately, like saying "I want a divorce", in an attempt for confirmation of your love. "But I still love you". It is a deep self esteem issue, brought on by what you have described as her background.

The fact that she does not like your shift work, supports that belief. If she did not really care about you she would not mind.

It is very complex. Just be stable to her, show love, is all I think you can do.

I am drawing on my own experience here, as my wife had a very difficult child hood and still has many issues, but it is also from what I have studied (amateur researcher - not professional)