Moderator: salted lipstick
You are correct, it will not.He just wants to ignore it, and I'm not convinced it will stay ignorable.
Yes, I would definitely get to know him. Don't ask him what makes him different, but ask him who he is, when he spent time in the body. Ask him if he's willing to tell you anything about what happened to him. I wouldn't ask for your husband back unless it's absolutely necessary, like he has a pressing appointment or a job to go to. I would try not to let him know that you favor one of the two over the other, though that may be difficult. If William is to trust you, it's is important not to reject him. William is a critical part of your husband, likely a part that saved his life in some way. It's likely that he was at one time necessary to your husband's physical, mental or emotional survival. He deserves credit for this. If he isn't dangerous, you might thank him for all he's done (vaguely, because he may not like your husband).I guess I need to know what I should do if William presents himself again. Should I try and get to know him, ask him what makes him different? Or should I just ask him for my husband back?
Patience wrote:From what you describe of William, he sounds like either a Protector or maybe an Persecutory alter. Just try to imagine though, if you can, being locked inside your body while someone else was calling the shots. Imagine how trapped you would feel not being able to do what you wanted to do, or with whom you wanted to do it. That's how William feels being locked up inside for so long. He has to come out and take control of the body. It also seems that he mistakenly has believed in the past, that if he could just kill your husband, he wouldn't be locked away ever again. He doesn't realize that in killing your husband, he would also kill the body they share.
It also looks to me as if you have met another alter, a little one. In my personal situation, very frequently after a Protector comes out, a little will emerge afterwards. Perhaps feeling bad and sorry that I got reprimanded by the Protector. There are usually more alters than two, but of course it's possible.
In your other thread you asked how to deal with these alters. First..always with the respect that each of them deserve. They are separate people, although they share the body. All of their opinions are valid and should be treated as such. I hope the next time you deal with William that there's no alcohol involved. Maybe you can get more of a feel for what he's like. Second...no judgements. If he feels that you are willing to discuss whatever he needs to talk about (no matter how painful) it's possible with time he will trust you and befriend you.
Like I said, my SO does not have a violent Protector, but his was nasty enough. With time he has grown to trust me, though he can still lash out. It's his job. It's what he does. He protects again anything perceived as a danger to the system.
The other people that answered your post in this thread have given some excellent advice, too. Learn as much as you can about DID. No system is the same, although there are similarities. There is a wealth of information to be had online and through books.
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