Oh god please help me [TW]

I was just, you know, texting my friend. 5 minutes into texting her, I suddenly feel...off, and eventually dissociated and started lowkey hallucinating (atpyical hallucinations).

And then I hear that twisted voice in the back of my head and from there, it was hell fire essentially.
Ithe, my homicidal and abusive alter began to take control. At first she was just in the background, putting her hands over my mouth so I couldn't speak. Although, after 10 minutes, she had nearly full control.

She put on music that would give her power - aka music that normally triggered her to make some sort of appearance. I tried so hard to keep control, but in the end, I just couldn't.

She then proceeded to start choking me and biting my hands to the point where they nearly broke skin (thank god for the human brain's ability to basically prevent itself from biting off the body's fingers). She started talking to my friends and pretending to be me, reassuring them in an attempt to get them away. It was also the only way I'd let her talk to them.

There were so many times she called me a "f*cking pathetic piece of sh*t who deserves to have all their limbs torn off" or "all their fingers broken." She nearly walked me straight into oncoming traffic.

She also found the scissors, so I think you can imagine what she did.

I just fear for my life whenever she gains control like that. If it weren't for my friends, she's probably have either killed me or landed me in the ER.

What do I do? I'm afraid no one will believe me and think I faked the whole thing. I also don't want to be hospitalized because I have my AP exam soon...Although, I really think I need to be.

Hi validateme

I could be completely off the mark here, but your AP exams my be quite stressful for you, and that may increase the inner turmoil.

Ithe may not feel that you deserve that for your future. But, you can only know when you start a meaningful dialogue with her.

Be careful about what you allow: walking in front of a bus is usually a one-time only thing.

As for friends trying to help... I've been onto countless scenes where the friends thought they were doing the right thing keeping the person out of ER. What they were doing in essence was preventing the person from getting the treatment they needed until it was almost (in some case, it was) too late to get that treatment.

Good luck... Brett

Forget the exam. Your life is more important. See if they can't make an acception for you to take it another time, when you're better. Then GET HELP!!!

Ditto the advice to seek help now.

Do not worry about your exams. Right now they are not important. AP exams can be scheduled specially for you; this is a normal accommodation for students who have any kind of medical event. You are having a medical event.

LearnToLoveTheRide wrote:As for friends trying to help... I've been onto countless scenes where the friends thought they were doing the right thing keeping the person out of ER. What they were doing in essence was preventing the person from getting the treatment they needed until it was almost (in some case, it was) too late to get that treatment.

So true. I saved a college student's life by calling campus security as his friends tried to keep him "out of trouble" by carrying him to his dorm room, where they were going to leave him alone to "sleep it off." He had acute severe alcohol poisoning from binge drinking vodka. They meant well but what they planned would have killed him. He was in urgent need of advanced life support.

Validateme, I would like to knock your friends' heads together. What are they thinking!? They should be taking you to the ER, calling a crisis line to find out how to get you into a psychiatric hospital, ASAP.

Now please take yourself to the ER.

Thank you all for your advice >_<

It's just so hard to.. admit this in real life. I'm terrified. My family will all be shocked and scared..I don't want to scare anybody. And yet I'm literally dying to have someone notice my pain.

How on Earth do I tell people?

Print off your first post in this thread and take it with you to your local ER. Or call a crisis line and ask them to help get you into a hospital.

-- Sat Apr 29, 2017 2:59 pm --

Key points to remember:

You need help.

You deserve to receive help.

You can get help.

...now go get help.

Una+ wrote:Print off your first post in this thread and take it with you to your local ER. Or call a crisis line and ask them to help get you into a hospital.

-- Sat Apr 29, 2017 2:59 pm --

Key points to remember:

You need help.

You deserve to receive help.

You can get help.

...now go get help.

..Im terrified.. but I'll try.. eventually..I need to build the courage.. Thank you. <3

Just do it.

Courage is not feeling ready to do something. Courage is feeling terrified and doing it now.

Just do it.

validateme wrote:My family will all be shocked and scared..I don't want to scare anybody.

It wouldn't scare them nearly as much as if you let this girl kill you.

And get rid of that triggering music!