Do I have a right too a voice?

Hi, I'm Adam. I live in a very small country town in Australia. The community is very small. Everyone knows everyone else. My host, who I love very dearly, won't/can't tell any one except her therapist about us. I feel very frustrated that I don't have a voice. I want to get to know her daughters. They are wonderful kids and I know we would get on really well. I feel trapped. I know host is very afraid of switching. It makes her feel sick and out of control. I understand that. And because I love her so very much I don't want to put her through that but where does that leave me? I want so much more out of life. Am I being ridiculous? Our therapist said today that I wasn't real. That made me very angry, so angry that I took over and had a word to him about respect. But now I can't help wonder where it all sits. How do I fit in? What rights do I have? I'm starting to feel very depressed. Maybe the way I use to be, wanting to end it all is valid and the right answer. I don't really want that though. I just want to understand and I certainly couldn't hurt host. She is the love of my life. If any of you can help me understand what this is all about please do. It's all just a bit much at the moment.
Thanks,
Adam

Hi Adam. You have a right to live a satisfying life, just like everyone else. The fact remains though, that you are part of a person, which requires cooperation and sometimes very creative problem solving.

For us the solution has been to work toward integration.

Sounds like your therapist could use some psychoeducation, as he is making the common beginner mistake of thinking one part of you is real and other parts are delusions. If that were true (which it isn't), who gets to decide which part is real? Certainly not him.

Re psychoeducation ISSTD can help. Their website isst-d.org has a lot of good information, and there is a strong group of ISSTD member therapists in Australia, many of whom are listed on the website.

Hi Adam,
My name is Heather and I often feel the same way about wanting to be heard. I don't have a love for my host though so I go about it rather bullishly. Our T is the only one I talk to too, though we have a friend who knows we are multiple whom we have just reestablished contact with. You absolutely have a right to a voice but you may have to be patient for your host to come to terms with things and it doesn't sound like you T is helping her do that.
Heather

Thanks Guys,
Kelly and I have been looking through the ISSTD site during the day today. Unfortunately all of the Ts on the list are from 6 hours to 2 days drive away. We have emailed one of them hoping that we might be able to work something out through Skype. We will continue reading from the site as there is a lot to get through. Thanks again for your help.

Hi Adam

Country towns where everyone knows everyone are close knit! Did your host say exactly why she doesn't want anyone to know about you? Perhaps if you know the reasons, you can work out some type of arrangement that still allows you to come out but doesn't play into her fears too much

For example I know some parts of me aren't too keen on other people knowing I have DID, so long as we don't make it tooooooo obvious from clothing choices in particular, we are mostly allowed to express ourselves just fine, it's kind of like we struck a compromise.

Does your host say why she is worried about switching? Why she doesn't want people to know about you? Is there anything you could both do to work around some of her fears?

There are alters that aren't going to want to voice anything, what I do is allow them the people factor. Patience, kindness, respect, regard I watch for symptoms education on the likeness goal. I also don't hold what a website has to the most regard knowing they we can't always get permission. Life is usually a repeat there is someone that has been doing things as alters any way. I think it is best to in the education of alters to explain what the author or site writers might have intended. Is this a phase I'm in, in fact certain alters might be light years ahead of others even in the same system. I just need if you can get with the dominant alters and get those to help the others along the way.