Depersonalized a Lot

For the Last two or three momths i was depersonalized a Lot.And u know what is the Reason..A crush...
I depersonalized from my normal behaviour like smoking was not a dead end for me but when the crush thoughts ruled my mind.i made it a dead end,struggled to end smoking.Over used nicorette gums.Tried to get away from all sorts of fumea.my whole understamding of life was chamged.i thought life was never like before it has its own meanining.i tried to see relationships differently the world around me differently.constantly know that someone is thinking of me make me depersonalize so much...i dont know my life was meant to be like this like there is no connection with the head and tail.....

A crush . . . and maybe also withdrawal? Were the smokes nicotine or marijuana?

Una+ wrote:A crush . . . and maybe also withdrawal? Were the smokes nicotine or marijuana?

nicotine...its so hard to beat the craving i nearly lost my brain....

Hm. So a lot of people who smoke do it as part of a larger ritual, including a work break. Standing up from their desk, going outside, talking to people you enjoy (or getting away from people you don't enjoy), maybe getting a drink of water too. All these activities are part of self care, and may be neglected when you stop the smoking.

Are you taking good care of you? Taking breaks?

Una+ wrote:Hm. So a lot of people who smoke do it as part of a larger ritual, including a work break. Standing up from their desk, going outside, talking to people you enjoy (or getting away from people you don't enjoy), maybe getting a drink of water too. All these activities are part of self care, and may be neglected when you stop the smoking.

Are you taking good care of you? Taking breaks?

Infact Yes nowadays i frequentlygo to therapy open myself.which is is selfcare i think.also that is the only thing that helped me to reduse smoking.but therapy is itself addictive...i am so dependent on it there is no alternative way aroind that i can feel the same level of relief i get from therapy....
if there was i will be behind that.sometimes i start to think that the cigarettes and life of hiddenness was better.as going to therapist every month.crying infront of him abt my problems make me so shamefull abt myself..Like therapy is a big burden to me
.infact it is.i cant concentrate on studies because most of the time i get emotional because of freauent therapy as therapy is always painfull...
also the fear of rejection that makes me this dependence fearsome
..

Sounds like you may be going a little too fast in therapy. Slow it down a little? Feeling dependent will pass.