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Others revealing 'true selves' beneath masquerade, WOW!!!!!

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Others revealing 'true selves' beneath masquerade, WOW!!!!!

Postby crackerjack » Mon Jun 27, 2016 3:48 am

HOLY WOW! Is there a name for this? I don't know the right words!!! (Violarules? Una+? anyone?)

My third alter, the kitten, turns out to be a scared 5-year-old Little girl "hiding" behind the facade of a kitten! My T had suggested this possibility a few weeks ago, so I wasn't too surprised. In fact it was me who asked them about it, and offered that she could come out and be a Little in our family if she wanted to... and she said yes! So we got to change her avatar!
I have all these little dollies (for the girls) and action figures (for the guys) so that "I" have a physical representation of each one of them (since I can't see or hear them). So, to represent Big Girl, my kitten, I discovered "Calico Critters" (aka Sylvanian Families ~ moms and Littles around the WORLD will know what I'm talking about, right?!!!) which are about the same size as the Disney Little Kingdom Princesses I got for the other girls. But today she got to choose a new avatar!
First she chose the "Anna" dolly with freckles, and then we were choosing the clothes. There was this really cute white "kitten-suit" (like footy-pajamas, with a tail), complete with little white hoody with kitty-ears! SO CUTE! But the white kitty suit only fit on the LalaLoopsy, so she chose that dolly instead! It is a more comfortable for her to "get used to" being seen and acknowledged as a Little girl while wearing a kitty-suit (even on the inside) while she goes through this transition. It feels safe and familiar. So of course, we made the exact same kitty-suit on the inside, complete with frilly pink tutu and 'tiara' between the kitty ears! We LOVE IT!
*************** You'll never guess what happened next!!!***************
Andrew, my big mean scary 'Incredible Hulk' alter... the one I was AFRAID OF when he first showed up... turns out to be a timid frightened 5-year-old Little girl underneath HER scary facade, too! :shock: Wha-a-a-a-aaaaaaaaat???
HOW COOL IS THAT??? I mean, that she felt comfortable enough to come out and say it! We had Melleisha time-warp the billows-car over to The Isle of Berk (where all the mean bully-guys had been banished to) to pick her up right away! Maybe seeing Big Girl come out helped her be brave, and maybe also she saw that she could have a friend the same age???
So ~ the topic of names... "Big Girl" chose the much more suitable name of Claire! And then Andrew changed his name to Andi... we call her "Andi Jewel" now, LOL! (Only some people will "get" where that name comes from!!!) They are both names I have always LOVED!!! Andi chose an Elsa dolly we had with it's hair already painted red ~yep, 2 more redheads in the crew!
********************GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXXXXXXXXT?????********************
MR. 2 FINALLY CHIMED IN!!!! Turns out 'he' is actually a 10-year-old girl!!! The toughest 10-year-old girl I've ever seen!!! Man, I thought Mr. 2 was SOOOOOOO tough and mean! And scary!
So I think it was Melleisha who scuttled off to pick her up and bring her back to Amasia, too. She picked out her name immediately ~ Sidney, another name I LOVE ~ and her dolly, the Rapunzel with short brown hair, just like my dolly! (yes, I have an avatar dolly for myself too, and yes, I already had two of them... :oops: I really really loooooove these toys! I'm collecting dollhouse furniture for them, too!)
So that just leaves Butch, I'tabaka and 'Dolfo on the island... for now anyway. :wink:

So what do you think? Is this considered progress? Maybe even a "breakthrough?" (A trifecta? LOL!)
Is this from all the "work" I've been doing? Working on grounding; setting firmer, healthier boundaries; "outing" my abuser to my family; getting ready to file police report... and most of all, just really, really 'standing up for myself' and not backing down...?
Is it because I'm getting tougher about things that they are relinquishing their "tough act" and actually letting me handle that tough stuff now??? Because they feel safe enough to be who they really are now?
I'm feeling pretty jazzed... we're gonna go watch Tangled! :lol:

-- Sun Jun 26, 2016 8:54 pm --

P.S.
Another thought, do you think it has to do with the time I've spent "paying attention" to them by paying attention to and playing with the dolls and their dollhouse furniture?
I mean, I was always loving on that little Kitty doll... it is covered with this really soft fuzzy-fuzz all over, and I would hold it and pet it's little head, snuggle it up to my cheek and rub noses with it's fuzzy little nose... and then she was the first to drop her facade and become her true self.
Is that kind of affection actually "felt" by them? Is that healing to them?
Dx:DID Host:Jelay as Kerry*Core:Kerry(stuck inside)
1.Melleisha 2.Sidney(Mr. 2) 3.Claire(Big-girl, a cat) 4.Jilay 5.Jelay*
6.Gretchen(Butch) 7.Diane(I'tabaka) 8.Billoba 9.Nanette(Domella & Jabbekpheka fused) 10.Megan 11.Jasmine(Adolfo) 12.Andi(Andrew)
13.Brenda(Omega) 14.Tessie 15.Tassie(Hajtauba)
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Re: Others revealing 'true selves' beneath masquerade, WOW!!!!!

Postby samrk2 » Mon Jun 27, 2016 1:04 pm

Yes, that is so cool and DEFINITELY a healing break through. My wife's defender first presented as a tough, acerbic teen, but once I helped her thru her anger toward me, she turned into a beautiful and sweet little girl who has now matured back up to a young lady. I think it's so important to remember that d.i.d. is a child's disorder and so a lot of the presentations of the alters before the healing begins is the child's attempt to convey something visually, emotionally that was missing during the abuse. So once the alters begin to feel safe, they don't have the need for the smoke and mirrors and can allow themselves to be their true selves: and that's so important if true healing is going to take place!

And yes, we have always given the insiders MAXIMUM outside time and I made it a priority to satisfy the needs they presented to me. I always felt the longing for those unsatisfied desires they had during the original childhood held them back from moving forward. So I did whatever it took to meet those needs they told me about, and as I did, I could almost 'see' them get released from the hold the past had on them so they could begin to move forward in the present.

I'm very happy for you and those in your system who are beginning to move forward!
Sam
Husband of 28 years. Wife has 8 girls in her system.
Loving my DID Girls: A Husband's Perspective on Dissociative Identity Disorder
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Re: Others revealing 'true selves' beneath masquerade, WOW!!!!!

Postby Una+ » Mon Jun 27, 2016 2:04 pm

Yup, totally. Situation normal. You are taking action, being strong, taking care of business; at long last they are feeling safe enough to come out from behind their disguises.
Dx DID older woman married w kids. 0 Una, host + 3, 1, 5. 1 animal. 2 older man. 3 teen girl. 4 girl behind amnesia wall. 5 girl in love. Our thread.

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Re: Others revealing 'true selves' beneath masquerade, WOW!!!!!

Postby MakersDozn » Mon Jun 27, 2016 4:05 pm

Woohoo!

High-fives if you want them. ^^

MDs
Multiple. Body 55f, no host or original. System: 42 females, five males; 17 littles, nine middles/tweens, 14 teens, five bigs, and a formless yin/yang duo. Oldest member is 25.

Frequent: Charity (25), Mary (23), Laura (17.5), Allegra (17)
Blog: http://makersdozn.blogspot.com | Our Story | Roll Call
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Re: Others revealing 'true selves' beneath masquerade, WOW!!!!!

Postby perpetuo27 » Mon Jun 27, 2016 9:12 pm

my psychiatrist actually wondered if three of my 'darker' ones might be children, though i don't believe so. i would much rather that though.

i did have a male child alter kind of progress also over the last few months too. they were one of the first to reappear after years of the whole system being mostly quiet/inactive when something (my frustration and perfectionism) triggered them. then a few months later, i had a dream where several alters were working together to keep everyone safe, and he was one who was switching with one of the younger girl alters during a scary part of the dream, so they were sharing the fear so not just one had to feel it. he was always nonverbal and reacted more where he would be full of anger and rage and be self destructive (or sometimes kind of violent outward). he was the only one that has caused a few seconds of blacking out and has never spoken verbally. i never saw his face before the dream. a few weeks after that dream and putting pieces together that it was him, he chose a name indicating through thought that he liked a name he heard on TV. it was like an instant sense of peace and like a weird coming together kind of moment. there is also a song on the radio that he connects to when it's on.

i like the idea of having things externally that represent them. i also don't see or hear the others much so have wondered if doing something like that would help them too.
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Re: Others revealing 'true selves' beneath masquerade, WOW!!!!!

Postby crackerjack » Wed Jun 29, 2016 12:55 am

Thank you so much samrk2 », Una+ » & MakersDozn » ! High fives accepted and returned! ^^

perpetuo27 wrote:a few months later, i had a dream where several alters were working together to keep everyone safe, and he was one who was switching with one of the younger girl alters during a scary part of the dream, so they were sharing the fear so not just one had to feel it. he was always nonverbal and reacted more where he would be full of anger and rage and be self destructive (or sometimes kind of violent outward).

Hey perpetuo27 », I'm just learning they've used dreams to "communicate" with us a lot! (Fortunately I have kept dream journals for a couple of years!)
That sounds a lot like our 'Andrew'! I alway felt like he was so POWERFUL, just like the Incredible Hulk! I actually went to 2 stores on day looking for a Hulk action figure to be "him" ~ good thing I didn't find one! But seriously... you couldn't have shocked me more. Out of all 14 of us, I knew Andrew was the biggest/baddest/roughest/toughest/meanest bada** in the body! I was literally AFRAID of him! But I have learned that in this case, the intensity of her anger represents the intensity of her fear/trauma. Which makes sense, as it turns out, since 'Little Andi' split off from Melleisha, our very FIRST alter. So Andi/Andrew got all that fear and showed it as being MEAN!
I'm starting to hear from others that it is very very common for Littles to masquerade like this, but other alters can 'masquerade' too, (If there is a CORRECT word for this someone please tell me!) and that it's not just animals, but objects and some otherkin too, etc. I guess it's common for Therapists to work with the Others to help them reveal their own "true selves." Even if they remain the same person, their attitude and personality can shift dramatically with the understanding of new information.
Sidney needed to ask me about God the other day, so I just talked out loud about my feelings and what I do, and she seemed satisfied with that. Sometimes I think my opinion or knowledge should be "obvious" to them because, well... their in my headspace! But it's NOT. Only 5 of mine are co-conscious with my thoughts, I have to speak out loud for the rest to know anything.
So what I'm saying is, YEAH, TRY THIS!!! It doesn't even have to be action figures, and you don't have to spend any money. In fact, my first idea was to draw a separate picture for each one... but my art skills aren't that advanced! I had to buy dolls cuz I can't draw! Here were some of my other ideas I thought of our actually did:
1. I made small "pockets" out of paper (stapling one piece on the front of a larger piece) for EACH alter, with their NAME on the ones I knew, and a fact/clue/feeling etc for the ones I didn't know yet. Then I cut strips of blank paper; as I gather data (this one's a kitten, this one has red hair, this one's ANGRY, etc) I write it on the strips and tuck it into the pockets. This was a GAME CHANGER for me. Each alter felt real, and they all felt acknowledged... and pretty soon they all wanted their names up on that bulletin board. And the one who was PISSED I found out their name? Well, they're a sweet Little girl now, LOL! (Accept them unconditionally ~ love 'em no matter what!)
2. I wanted to individually acknowledge each one... at first I thought of using Chess peices and taping their names on each piece (cuz I didn't know how many), or stuffed animals, or folders with their names, or 50 other ideas... but I went with 3-inch dollies, calico critters & action figures! (If nothing else, even a Post it note with each name stuck on the wall, or a page for each one in a notebook, and you could write attributes on them as you 'get to know' them.)
3. Once I had the avatars, I guess I took it to the next level... I started gathering little furniture and things... clearing shelves setting them up 'on display.' Playing with the darn things, truth be told! Spending all this time and attention seemed to sort of set the tone, that I accepted them in my life and was dedicated to helping them. I swear, this was a big part in them warming up and opening up to me! Annnnnnnd.... it's really fun!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Dx:DID Host:Jelay as Kerry*Core:Kerry(stuck inside)
1.Melleisha 2.Sidney(Mr. 2) 3.Claire(Big-girl, a cat) 4.Jilay 5.Jelay*
6.Gretchen(Butch) 7.Diane(I'tabaka) 8.Billoba 9.Nanette(Domella & Jabbekpheka fused) 10.Megan 11.Jasmine(Adolfo) 12.Andi(Andrew)
13.Brenda(Omega) 14.Tessie 15.Tassie(Hajtauba)
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