HOLY WOW! Is there a name for this? I don't know the right words!!! (Violarules? Una+? anyone?)
My third alter, the kitten, turns out to be a scared 5-year-old Little girl "hiding" behind the facade of a kitten! My T had suggested this possibility a few weeks ago, so I wasn't too surprised. In fact it was me who asked them about it, and offered that she could come out and be a Little in our family if she wanted to... and she said yes! So we got to change her avatar!
I have all these little dollies (for the girls) and action figures (for the guys) so that "I" have a physical representation of each one of them (since I can't see or hear them). So, to represent Big Girl, my kitten, I discovered "Calico Critters" (aka Sylvanian Families ~ moms and Littles around the WORLD will know what I'm talking about, right?!!!) which are about the same size as the Disney Little Kingdom Princesses I got for the other girls. But today she got to choose a new avatar!
First she chose the "Anna" dolly with freckles, and then we were choosing the clothes. There was this really cute white "kitten-suit" (like footy-pajamas, with a tail), complete with little white hoody with kitty-ears! SO CUTE! But the white kitty suit only fit on the LalaLoopsy, so she chose that dolly instead! It is a more comfortable for her to "get used to" being seen and acknowledged as a Little girl while wearing a kitty-suit (even on the inside) while she goes through this transition. It feels safe and familiar. So of course, we made the exact same kitty-suit on the inside, complete with frilly pink tutu and 'tiara' between the kitty ears! We LOVE IT!
*************** You'll never guess what happened next!!!***************
Andrew, my big mean scary 'Incredible Hulk' alter... the one I was AFRAID OF when he first showed up... turns out to be a timid frightened 5-year-old Little girl underneath HER scary facade, too!
HOW COOL IS THAT??? I mean, that she felt comfortable enough to come out and say it! We had Melleisha time-warp the billows-car over to The Isle of Berk (where all the mean bully-guys had been banished to) to pick her up right away! Maybe seeing Big Girl come out helped her be brave, and maybe also she saw that she could have a friend the same age???
So ~ the topic of names... "Big Girl" chose the much more suitable name of Claire! And then Andrew changed his name to Andi... we call her "Andi Jewel" now, LOL! (Only some people will "get" where that name comes from!!!) They are both names I have always LOVED!!! Andi chose an Elsa dolly we had with it's hair already painted red ~yep, 2 more redheads in the crew!
********************GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXXXXXXXXT?????********************
MR. 2 FINALLY CHIMED IN!!!! Turns out 'he' is actually a 10-year-old girl!!! The toughest 10-year-old girl I've ever seen!!! Man, I thought Mr. 2 was SOOOOOOO tough and mean! And scary!
So I think it was Melleisha who scuttled off to pick her up and bring her back to Amasia, too. She picked out her name immediately ~ Sidney, another name I LOVE ~ and her dolly, the Rapunzel with short brown hair, just like my dolly! (yes, I have an avatar dolly for myself too, and yes, I already had two of them...
I really really loooooove these toys! I'm collecting dollhouse furniture for them, too!)
So that just leaves Butch, I'tabaka and 'Dolfo on the island... for now anyway.
So what do you think? Is this considered progress? Maybe even a "breakthrough?" (A trifecta? LOL!)
Is this from all the "work" I've been doing? Working on grounding; setting firmer, healthier boundaries; "outing" my abuser to my family; getting ready to file police report... and most of all, just really, really 'standing up for myself' and not backing down...?
Is it because I'm getting tougher about things that they are relinquishing their "tough act" and actually letting me handle that tough stuff now??? Because they feel safe enough to be who they really are now?
I'm feeling pretty jazzed... we're gonna go watch Tangled!
-- Sun Jun 26, 2016 8:54 pm --
Another thought, do you think it has to do with the time I've spent "paying attention" to them by paying attention to and playing with the dolls and their dollhouse furniture?
I mean, I was always loving on that little Kitty doll... it is covered with this really soft fuzzy-fuzz all over, and I would hold it and pet it's little head, snuggle it up to my cheek and rub noses with it's fuzzy little nose... and then she was the first to drop her facade and become her true self.
Is that kind of affection actually "felt" by them? Is that healing to them?