Really confused by my uhhh non diagnosis?

Hey!

So my psyche told me last night that I do not have full blown D.I.D, but! I do have protectors that come out and take over, so that I can be safe..
That the voices I've heard, and the chattering in my head that's woken me up or even one time, I've spoken to in a conversation with a few of them is totally normal for a person with my past.. (with the trauma and stuff that had happened since I was really really young..)

Ummm so it's normal? To hear voices and to retreat to the back of your mind while your protector takes over your body and says their own things while all you can do is watch? And sometimes I demand that they do something then being ignored by them and they just do what they want to get rid of whatever 'threat' or triggering scenario?

I'm confused?

If you don't have full-blown DID, maybe you have just a little-blown DID?

I'm confused too.

Iain

Maybe they are thinking you have OSDD-1? My first counselor told me the exact same thing--that it was symptom of having been badly traumatized--when I initially described this part of me that takes over and acts very angry. She told me to reprimand him and demand that he go away when it happened. This was not good advice, and she later conceded she really wasn't prepared to treat someone with my kinds of problems. I have since found it very helpful to work mainly with professionals who have training and experience with DID clients.

These fine points about diagnosis can get confusing. Luckily DID and OSDD-1 are treated the same way, so it doesn't matter too much on a practical level. But because of various biases and culture exposures, it is easy to think that DID is "real" and OSDD-1 is "not real." Every time I read about the difference between DID and OSDD-1, I think I definitely have OSDD-1, and I feel kind of disappointed about it. Then I remember I have more than one functional part, which puts me in DID territory, and I also feel disappointed but also comforted in some way. In reality both conditions are manifestations of severe reactions to overwhelming trauma childhood trauma. Regardless of what the condition is called, you, all of you, deserves respectful care and consideration in your treatment.

Hahahahahahaha! Ian, that made me laugh so hard lol

And thank you nondescript, I'm already looking around for some one that has the training for this.
And there is so much crap coming from every where.. My mom had said ' shell, you just need to be around people and you won't feel like this, you can push all of this out of the way and you'll be fine'

I was just like, ' i didn't think of that, really sound advice. Thanks!' lolz

IainEtc wrote:If you don't have full-blown DID, maybe you have just a little-blown DID?

Ha!

And to Nondescript....good to see you back. And great post.

MDs

MakersDozn wrote:
And to Nondescript....good to see you back. And great post.

Thank you, MDs. It's good to see you, too. I hope you saw my post about neurofeedback. I wonder if it would be of interest to you.

Mstrizix wrote:Hahahahahahaha! Ian, that made me laugh so hard lol

And thank you nondescript, I'm already looking around for some one that has the training for this.
And there is so much crap coming from every where.. My mom had said ' shell, you just need to be around people and you won't feel like this, you can push all of this out of the way and you'll be fine'

I was just like, ' i didn't think of that, really sound advice. Thanks!' lolz

My mom says that to me too! Every time I try to tell her how bad my memory is, she says that. When I used to have extremely terrifying nighttime hallucinations when I was small, she'd tell me, "other people your age experience the same thing."

Violarules, when I had told them that I had bpd, they were like, every woman has mood swings. It's normal -_-
Or or or the best one yet! They told me to be an anaesthetist because of my self harming tendencies.. Cause it just makes sense that if I can hurt myself then I'd have no issues hurting others.

I was just like, that's not how any of this works
Wtf?!

Wow that seems like that would be really frustrating to have to deal with.

My T is currently using a diagnostic tool in order to place where I'm at in the spectrum. I never have put a lot weight on the diagnosis thing, but now something has changed. At the same time we're terrified that she finds out about us and that she doesn't. Today I answered questions about memory and it seems that I don't have nowadays hard core memory problems such as blackouts/ total memory loss. I always know where I've been at, what I've bought etc. (Still, as I was driving in my car today I had a sense that I could have just been dropped there from outer space, as if I didn't have any personal history whatsoever. But this is depersonalization/ derealization of course.)

Diagnosis is a man-made construction and it doesn't describe reality as such, there is always the subjective surplus that cannot be converted into objective classifications. Still, I feel like my others are less 'real' if I have just OSDD. At the same time, I don't even want them to be that real. Why does it matter if I have DID or OSDD, honestly don't know.

When I say 'I always remember what I do.' there is a sense of disbelief in me that I cannot explain, still I cannot point my finger at any missing pieces. What's there to remember about childhood and 'being a daddy's girl', who can say? Feel like I'm lying all the time, no matter how I put it.

- K

We never should have speak to that b****. What's the use? Did you really think she'd understand s*** about this? You stupid b****. She doesn't believe you, you fake. No-one does. It' s better that way, we can be left alone. This is your problem now, making up disorders and s***. You can leave us alone now, you're the one with the disorder, were just fine. F*** you.

- O-o


Well, what ever my problem is, I thought that speaking up about it is the right thing to do. It's only a diagnosis, it doesn't have to change anything. We'd still be us.

- K

Who does she thing she is asking us what do we remember? You need to stop that. Tell her that we remember nothing, because nothing ever happened. Period.

- O-o

I just told her that 'I always remember what I do' and I don't remember anything 'like that' never happening, so that does it right? Btw, sorry for derailing the thread.

- K