Those Inner Voices...

So, those inner voices. I have always heard them, little conversations in my head, I assumed were normal thoughts, sometimes I was "imagining" out scenarios when there was a lot of trouble of stress going on, again, thought this was fairly widespread and typical for EVERYONE, is this not? Does the non DID affected person not hear those voices?

I'd love to ask someone "normal" but now I am very concerned about the reaction to "so...I hear these voices having little conversations in my head often..".

Is it these same conversations for other here that cause insomnia often? It does for me, and again, thought this was a normal way of dealing with the stresses of the day.

Bloody Violence kept us up for most of the night, last night, it doesn't always cause insomnia but it can, I know that much, if you want to talk we have Skype.

-Raven
-Scarlet

Hi Layla8,

My name's Iain and I'm one of the 'voices' in Host's head.

He learned a long time ago to NEVER EVER tell anyone about the 'voices'. You just have to tell one really close friend to end up with no friends at all! Maybe other people have different experiences and I hope they do. Anyway Host and I used to talk a lot then he got TOTALLY weird about it when he found out 'normal' people don't hear voices. It took a while, but we got back talking again. It's WAY better when we talk so I can help him with things.

Oh and when things get really quiet at night Host can hear us really well. That's sometimes a problem.

Iain - but you knew that already

i have wondered the same thing. i used to hear the others' talking in their own voices. the last few years, it's more through thoughts, i guess. my head is considerably more quiet than it used to be now. but there are times i don't know if i'm just talking/thinking to myself or not because i can kind of tell when 'i' am actively thinking..yet there will be responses or conversations, etc. which confuses me because it's still kind 'my' head voice..

and the other weird thing is that i don't actively hear the others much anymore and don't feel them as much (though still do), yet when i'm doing something, the thought process is sometimes more like 'let's do this. we should do this then this, etc.' or a full out conversation deciding things. haven't figured out how that works since i don't have the level of communication i used to...so i don't know how that can be the others without the general type of communication/hearing them (anyone know??) then i just think i think too much and am crazy or bored or something....

one other thing i have noticed though is that sometimes there are images in the back of my mind or like a TV almost playing images. i haven't figured out what it is, but my psychiatrist said maybe it's the others' day dreaming or something since i can be engaged in a task externally yet it is going on still.

It can be so hard to verbalize this. I Def have the insomnia. sometimes worse, sometimes better. I switch a lot trying to fall asleep. and sometimes someone will call my name as I am nodding off.

anyway, I wanted to chime in that I have discussed this with a few "normals". I get the sense that a internal monologue is normal. to think what ur thinking. but the dialogue in the head is what's unique and not experienced by singles.

they do have semi imagined conversations that usually involve conflict. like maybe they imagining fussing out a boss or a boyfriend. or confessing their true feelings for someone. but they mostly imagine what they will say and rarely imagine a true dialogue even in that situation.

the take away here. everybody kind of thinks to themselves. it's when that thinking becomes a dialogue or group conversation that it begins to exceed "normal" parameters

I apologize for bad grammer, punctuation, spelling, and not policing the autocorrect..

Really appreciate the feedback, yes, there are differences in those "conversations" sometimes it is just the thought process, and yes, sometimes it is like a family gathering in my head...Iain, yes I have been cautious to simply not let on to people about it, it is a signal to others that you are "weird"...

perpetuo27, the daydreaming thing while still in full function, yep, have definitely been there, it's an odd thing....Like watching TV and also being at work, or driving (probably the most dangerous one) or watching TV while daydreaming and both having my attention.

I too get woke up with someone calling out my name, and it startles me awake, sometimes it is the twilight moment I am drifting off and hear these whispers in the room, several people talking but I jump out of bed and find no one home with me. Husband was gone early for work and I knew I was alone, drifted into that sleep and certainly heard it, jumped out of bed it was still dark, I was alone, but yet I was sure someone had been in the room with me, I had to turn the light on. I am not a scaredy woman, I have chased intruders out before, but this was for some reason, so much more scary for me.

Hi Layla8

OK, I thought I'd weigh in here since I'm completely "normal": I scored a 6 on the DES.

I have a constant internal dialogue going on in my head. So much so that I have terrible, chronic insomnia as a result.

I think the difference in experience between my internal dialogue really 'hearing' voices may be:

• Mine are all a single voice, whereas people who 'hear' voices generally hear difference voices.
• My dialogue centers around specific subjects. The subjects may shift but there's a predictability to what is being said and what is going to be said.
• My dialogue never tries to influence me to do things I wouldn't normally do, or to harm myself, etc.

There's your control subject.

Apparently, between 5 and 28% of the US population hears voices that other people do not.

Take care...

LearnToLoveTheRide wrote:Hi Layla8

OK, I thought I'd weigh in here since I'm completely "normal": I scored a 6 on the DES.

I have a constant internal dialogue going on in my head. So much so that I have terrible, chronic insomnia as a result.

I think the difference in experience between my internal dialogue really 'hearing' voices may be:

• Mine are all a single voice, whereas people who 'hear' voices generally hear difference voices.
• My dialogue centers around specific subjects. The subjects may shift but there's a predictability to what is being said and what is going to be said.
• My dialogue never tries to influence me to do things I wouldn't normally do, or to harm myself, etc.

There's your control subject.

Apparently, between 5 and 28% of the US population hears voices that other people do not.

Take care...

Just checking for ourselves,
Yes, different voices, Jessica's is unmistakable, cockney accents are usually hard to miss
Not necessarily, more of what is at hand, Jessica, as usual tends to comment the most, Raven just passes on information directly to Scarlet and doesn't comment necessarily
Our dialogue does try to influence me to do things, Sylvera, when she speaks says 'You have no hope left, you should kill yourself' or something similar with different alters drives and motives. I find thinking of alters tends to make them come up and say things though, and often, their voices feel distant, don't know if that's a thing.

-Scarlet
-Raven

I have no idea if there is a scale in which this can be identified by. I know the voices, somehow I know they are mine, but different tones, subtle and not ever wanting me to harm myself. Usually it is about the motives of others, not so much a paranoia...so in relationships, I often hear this one voice that tells me "you're being lied to", "why would he want to be with you?'...that type of talk. There is an angry voice that reacts with swearing and says stuff before I can stop it. Things that don't need to be said (things in anger at other people, out of character for "me"), and then there is such huge shame and regret.

If "I" am in control of myself, I can be very calm, thoughtful and can clearly think about things before I act or speak on them. The angry voice/self has been out a lot more lately, the one that says those things internally, those negative things about me. I wonder if the angry internal voice (as I just don't find any names or ways to explain how I feel at this point about those aspects of myself yet) is really the protective one that fears rejection and hurt and bad things so much that it says these things to keep me from the things that I could get hurt in/by?

Strange, when I first started this journey of understanding what is going on, I assumed MAYBE there was only two others, but as I continue to talk to others here, and the more I have to really think about it all, seems I find I begin to see more than just two/three aspects of myself.

Mature calm voice, patient, motherly...
Angry voice, pushes people away, like a rebellious teenager...
Sad voice, gets hurt and cries a lot, seems to need a lot of validation...
Outgoing, intelligent one, makes all the creative decisions...
Sensual one maybe....

Hey,
Look at this, you'll see what I mean, this is from some of our system

Known System
Scarlet - Borderline Host - 15 - Androgynous voice, slight American accent, somewhat low unless anxious or scared or stressed or hurt
Unpredictable, constantly needs a lot of attention, intense fears of isolation, neglect, loneliness and abandonment, reacts to extremely to these fears and has many attention seeking behaviours.

Ari - Borderline Teen - 16 - Feminine voice (we have masculine vocal chords but her voice is still very feminine), light, airy, high pitched, not so airy when angry or wanting something
Unpredictable, wants to be able to drink alcohol

Raven - Teen Protector - 17 - Voice slightly lower than Scarlet's, a bit rougher and more casual sounding
Protective, serious but able to make jokes, understanding, observant when it comes to people

Valkyrie - Protector - Ageless - Voice around same pitch as Scarlet's, more formal than hers, more elaborate language
Protective, self blaming if Scarlet self harms, understanding, easily conflicted about people but hold the people she trusts steadily and constantly in a good light but with room to prepare for a backstab just in case

Arabella Rose - Little - 8 - Higher pitched voice and pronounces syllables in a more defined way, makes 'hmmph' sound when unhappy, annoyed, upset, etc
Playful, scared of rejection and abandonment, seems to have easy attachment to women and female teenagers aged 16-25, has repressed suicidal desires and is ashamed of them, refuses to eat meat while fronting or blending

Sofia Kovalevskaya - Analytical - 25 - Cold, monotone, detached, short expressions or a more flowing, warm style of speaking, both contain more elaborate language but more emphasis on terminology and longer technical words whereas Valkyrie would often have a more artistic taste
Appears to be cold sociopath but is actually insecure and emotional

Lilliana Angelique - Sexual Alter - 24 - rich, smokey voice, heavier american accent than Scarlet's, somewhat slurred words, occasionally laughing but may also take on another voice if she thinks someone will find it more attractive.
She changes her behaviours to what she believes is attractive to someone she wants to seduce, in general though, she constantly fantasizes and masturbates in the inner place

Jessica - Teen - 14-15 - cockney accent, cruder word choices
Often indignant, light hearted, loves Pink Floyd and no other music, jokey, makes comments on obvious things eg. while walking outside on a rainy day, she'll comment on the fact it's a rainy day, even if one of us has already commented on it, disturbingly similar to Scarlet's father's behavior on one of his good days.

Clockwork Girl - Unknown - N/A - Speaks in slightly breathy voice, slightly high pitched, can only speak in single syllables, occasionally two at a time or she suffers a breakdown
Kind, caring, inquisitive, fascinated by clocks and clockwork imagery or devices, believes she is broken

*TW MENTIONS OF ABUSE*
Bloody Violence - Persecutor - 22 - Based her voice largely off this song, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hp_gHVRlBoc both the screaming and the speaking (the screaming is in the chorus, takes a while to kick in but the way it is produced is how she screams) some of her language and key phrases are based off it as well, in general she also tends to growl, particularly when at school or around a lot of unknown and entrusted people in close proximity, large parts of her are very animalistic in nature unless she is being abusive where she is colder and more human but brutal in both (and both of these sides also seem represented in the song.
*TW END*

I hope you see what I am trying to show you, not really sure how to explain it for now.

-Raven