integration failed? *possible trigger*

A little break right about now sounds like a great idea! Go do something fun, relaxing, or useful.

Sometimes slowing down gets you there faster.

what a weird conversation. i wanted to fix things with my T. something went wrong and i wasnt sure what it was...
i talked with her and we found out that SHE has a memory gap, like 15 minutes of conversation she doesnt remember at all. her surprise was real, she is not lying. she somehow missed the complete part we talked about Mayas feelings. she had no memory whatsoever of what she had said to me about other parts.
that is kind of crazy. i do realize that huge parts of me didnt want her to aknowledge the diagnosis, or to hear about a little and there was a great expectation of rejection...
it does sound like a transferance thing. but it seems almost magic that i would "give" her my dissociation to shut out information...

i am back to my normal hopeful self. and Maya came out when i was with a small group of very close friends. she has played with 2 of them before and talked with another one, but this was the first time she ever came out in a group of people (that i can remember) and everyone was so happy to see her, they recognized her the moment she showed up and she was really welcome. that was so good. fellowship can heal wounds.

Hm. This glitch with your T could be an instance of a projective identification (see our thread on this topic) from you to her, or she could have a major dissociative disorder herself and be triggered in some way by some aspect of Maya's history.

Good on you, both for noticing that something wasn't adding up, and for having the composure and tact and conversational skill to locate the source of the problem. Well done!