by MesopicVision » Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:03 pm
Right now I am not entirely sure who I am. I feel like I am in a bit of a funny place. Maybe a halfway house between my parts or something.
I have my host, which is my born self. I go by my real name, and I am 24 yr old female. I like art, crafts, science, nutrition, reading, writing and have a playful side to myself. I like to have banter, but I'm not very good at it so sometimes people think I'm being rude, but I"m only playing really. I have a strong sense of humour too. I'm semi introverted, and like to have just a handful of friends. I like being with people, and that is sometimes company enough. I don't feel the need to talk all the time. I am very thoughtful, so when I do talk, I feel like it is more considered because I think a lot, possibly too much.
My little is called Suzanne. She's 6. She's very hurt, and feels abandoned. I hear her in my head a lot, and from when I have switched I scream a lot, and cry hysterically. She is also very playful though, and that side of me has only started to come out in the last 12 months or so. She likes parks but wishes she had someone to play with her. She likes toys, and wishes she had some, lego, and crafty things are her favourite because she is always asking to do that stuff. I think she is lonely, and very hurt, scared and upset. She often tries to kill herself, and can become very aggressive: but that is what she has always seen so it makes sense.
I have an anxious one also called Dorothy. She's super anxious about dirt, and feeling dirty so likes to be controlling about her environment. Sometimes she doesn't instil this in the best way and will shout and scream and be very attitude to me about how filthy I am, and how much I need to anti-bac, and disinfect everything. I think she feels dirty at her core person, so technically she will never be clean enough.
I have a protective one, who has no name. I go into this when I'm in trouble or nervous. She has the gift of the gab and talk, A LOT, constantly. She plays on the thoughtfulness of my host persona, and uses everything she can to talk, talk, talk, talk. She's restless and comes out in difficult situations in a calm, but energetic way: like when I've been arrested or sectioned. I think she's more confident in her own mind, and is also of an adult age because she comes out with intelligent observations. I think she is the part of me that talks for me, because normally my host I don't talk too much except for with close people.
Finally I have a persecutor who shouts and screams when I am upset. She calls me nasty names for being upset, and screams and screams and hits me. She is very difficult to tolerate. I have very little connection with this part but I have a feeling that it is a personified memory of my mum when I was a young child. I find this part of myself very hard to take, and she only makes things worse.
We're all female, but range from tomboyish(my host) to girly princess (Suzanne) and Dorothy : who also seems perfectionistic.
OMG CopperMoon got to know her alters very well. Because I saw a lot of names in the signature. It was not a moon but a fox. 
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