Being denied treatment.

AGAIN. All the times I've waited and all the years I've tried for and I finally got to an assessment for psychotherapy and they ARE DENYING ME IT AGAIN.

Despite detailing my Borderline Personality Disorder and also details of my alters (including an alter that likes and wants to be RAPED) she seems to ignore the DID and wants to send me to a Borderline Group Therapy rather than giving me actual Psychotherapy! Completely ignoring the DID!

When I asked her about this she said "I've already told you that the alters are just different aspects of you". I know but that DOESN'T HELP!! NOT ONE BIT!

I've been pinning my hopes on this for a LONG time and now she's just not going to bother!

GRRRRRRRRRRR.

Feathers wrote:she said "I've already told you that the alters are just different aspects of you".

This therapist simply is not a good fit for you. So look elsewhere. Aren't you in the UK? Have you ever taken the advice offered here, to contact the Pottergate Centre?

Feathers wrote:When I asked her about this she said "I've already told you that the alters are just different aspects of you". I know but that DOESN'T HELP!! NOT ONE BIT!

We share in your frustrations as this is what occurred to us as we tried to seek help and treatment as well. Obviously these people do not understand DID and need to expand their reading material to text outside medical and research papers as they do not contain the true and personal aspects and representations of DID. I can guarantee that any one who enters this forum and reads with a generally open mind will come to understand more about DID and life with DID than they could from a year of reading medical text written by someone who has not experienced this firsthand.

Keep persevering, there will be someone out there who understands and who will give you the treatment you deserve.

Una, just emailed them now, not sure if they're anywhere near me or whether I could even afford to think about going private.

My main problem is I feel like this is my last chance. I've been through hell trying to get even here. It's a specialised psychotherapy department which I've had to travel out of my local area to get to. If they say I can't have it it feels like that's the end for me.

I've contacted my psychiatrist about it. Here's my letter:

"I had my final assessment for psychotherapy yesterday and I just wanted to let you know the outcome, and the fact I disagree with it. Kate seems to think that psychotherapy isn’t appropriate for me, and I know that you thought it was the only thing that was appropriate for me. I also felt it was appropriate and was pinning my hopes on it helping me since you don’t seem convinced by me being on medication.

Basically the outcome was that she wanted to send me to a “reflective borderline group therapy” thing, which I agree may be helpful but I don’t think it is addressing all of my needs. Most of my problems are alter-based, more so than my Borderline issues (which still need addressing). The fact it now looks like they aren’t going to be addressed has left me feeling more hopeless than ever as I always saw psychotherapy as the end game and now I feel like I have nowhere else to turn.

I also feel like I’m in a bit of a contradiction because you feel like psychotherapy is the way to go, not medication. Yet Kate seems to think that because I’m fairly stable on medication that I don’t need the therapy. She also seems to think that because my life is stable and going well at the minute, things will settle down. Which may be true but I think it’s unrealistic to place bets on things staying that way. Anything could set me off, my boyfriend leaving me, family member dying, etc. I’d hate to just waste the years I have waiting trying to get to this assessment by saying “things are okay at the minute, I’ll leave it” and then further down the line, something goes wrong and then I’ve missed the opportunity.

I’m extremely upset by it. She seems to brush off the problems I’m having with alters by saying “I’ve told you they’re just other aspects of yourself” which I already knew and that isn’t exactly helping things.

I knew fine well she wasn’t going to put me on the waiting list for therapy by the way she was saying things. She insinuated that therapy wouldn’t help me. She also seemed to blame me for not knowing HOW therapy would help me. Surely that’s her job to know? I just have to put my faith in it and hope things come out better at the end? Which I was more than happy to do. She also criticised that I was pinning all my hopes on psychotherapy working, which I am, because I feel like it’s my last chance. It’s the last place I have to turn.

I feel like I’m being denied something I clearly need and feel like I need. I’m also worried that if I don’t get into psychotherapy, and like you said, if the new medication doesn’t work for me, you wanted to stop the medication and concentrate on therapy. Would you still be stopping the medication if I don’t get into therapy? I’m terrified of what will happen if I’m not in therapy and I have to come off medication because life before medication was terrifying and I don’t want to go back to it."

Feathers wrote:Una, just emailed them now, not sure if they're anywhere near me or whether I could even afford to think about going private.

Good!

It doesn't really matter where the Pottergate Center is located; they can still help you. They can help with doing dissociative disorder assessments by post (mail) and special one-time appointments for interview assessment, and they have an outreach program to support individual therapists all across the UK who work with dissociative clients. Also, they are running training courses this year in York and Norwich.

Many other posters here on the DID Forum have been helped by the Pottergate Center.

Feathers wrote:It's a specialised psychotherapy department which I've had to travel out of my local area to get to. If they say I can't have it it feels like that's the end for me.

Is this department at all affiliated with the NHS? I had to leave the help I was getting under the NHS because they wouldn't take note of the DID diagnosis that I'd received from Pottergate. I have since found a wonderful private therapist and she doesn't charge me too much, knowing that I am currently unemployed. NHS and those sorts of organisations aren't the be all and end all. I know it feels like it but there are other options out there. Feel free to send me a PM if you want to discuss this stuff. Don't lose hope.

-B