How are you today thread (trigger warning)

We have gone into hiding. Feel that we have gone through a patch of being too open. Feeling very protective. Started blog it feels like I can control things more. Take a broader view without exposing anyone. Want to talk about stuff without making anybody feel vulnerable. Started to worry who was reading things and read some stuff about bad people on the internet who might not be real. Hope this post doesn't upset anybody. We also worry about doing that.

Hi LittleMie,

It would be super sad to have you gone from the forum. You say neat things and I always read your stuff. Hiding is ok though. You have to be safe - that's important. I hope nobody on the forum got creepy or anything.

Iain

Thank you for saying that Iain we are not gone from the forum. We are not leaving. We like it here and feel we have lots of friends but I have suddenly become very protective over everybody. I read a blog on malingering and on people pretending to be something that they are not. As a collective we are bad for getting into situations we really shouldn't be in and not being able to get back out. Just want to regroup and make sure everybody is ok because someone is feeling really uncomfortable right now and I don't know what has caused it. So I was just trying to let everybody know that if we are a bit distant that is why it is. Because we worry about other people on the forum if we don't hear from them or see their post popping up. But we will still be posting. Oh no feel like am getting back into a tangle. It will sort. We are ok.

a sad and chaotic day.
disclosure of the system seems to mark the end of our therapy with this T.
she asked us to come up with therapy goals that have nothing to do with the system if we want to continue.
duh. who does she think she is treating?

birdsong87 wrote:a sad and chaotic day.
disclosure of the system seems to mark the end of our therapy with this T.
she asked us to come up with therapy goals that have nothing to do with the system if we want to continue.
duh. who does she think she is treating?

Good grief that sucks. Was she that specific???? To disclose in first place is huge and then to be rejected.....no wonder you have chaos. Seems a bit weird. My last T (sorry to go on about him again we are obsessed) said that 40% of all work done is relationship - he was far from perfect and often I thought he wasn't entirely on top of what he was doing - was very focused on 'normalising' everything we presented - I sometimes wasn't sure of his agenda but trusted (back to our naivety perhaps) that he had one. Its only since I stopped seeing him that I keep thinking ahhh that's what he was doing - think this has happened because we had connected in some way therapy wise.

So getting down to it. How is your relationship with T? Do you trust that they have a helpful agenda or could possibly be working with something you can't grasp or are you so far apart that it is a complete waste of time?? T's also do push buttons at times as its part of their job - is it a challenge? Is there something happened that has led her to make this statement, it can't have come out of the blue??? Are you able to go back and discuss the issues this question has caused??

Sorry far more questions than I have helpful answers - I can see where you are coming from though if T has said to me outright 'I don't want to talk about your system' I would have been devastated - would also have been a bit tricky as we would often click out or switch during meetings....phew am waffling, just can't believe your T has said that. Sorry Birdsong78 ou sound like you are angry and hurting. Bad karma from T. Make sure whatever decision you make it the right one for you all.

Deep breaths, after the chaos there will be be calm or change. It just sucks. Sorry for waffling.

LittleMie, you are assuming too much.
we dont feel rejected. this is just adults speaking about what is possible and what is not possible.
we have had 2 years of therapy with her that helped tons, even though they were extra hard.
disclosure was a calculated risk.
the way our system works seems to make it impossible for Ts to help. it also makes us pretty stable.
from the very beginning she has not been what we needed, just what we got.

Hi Birdsong87 - sorry for the assumptions. Just read your other post and here you more clearly now. Have been no where near two adults having a conversation, for all the bodies 51 years we struggle to pull a cohesive adult into the therapy room. Can't quite marry up the pieces. We are very tired.

BeccaBee wrote:MDs and Birdsong I hear you. I am sorry for your pain.

L you were one of my first friends on this forum. I am glad you are back and sharing. you and your team have been fighting so hard and getting through such a difficult time. keep on, keeping on.

Charity, I think you are so much more of a fighter than you realize.

Thank you, BeccaBee. I'm hoping that we can have a better weekend than we've been having lately. When we're alone, all the pain flows out, and it's overwhelming. I/we need to find a better way to handle alone time.

We're sorry that you didn't get the new job.

Charity

We're kind of having a hard time today. I don't know why. We have some pretty angry alters and they are messing things up. I wish they'd stop being stupid.

Iain

Sometimes angry messes things up. but sometimes angry keeps you safe.

I am feeling very angry right now, too. but I have something in my toolbox called restraint. so that is good.