psybear wrote:Thanks JadeRain, I too get tired of people saying I'm dwelling. I know I dwell and ruminate. I don't like it, but that's how my brain works when I'm not feeling well. They say just get over the past, don't live in the past, and I understand what they are saying because I spend a lot of my time trying to do just that. I wish it were as easy as just "wanting" not to focus on all the negative feelings I have. I don't like feeling like this at all, and do wish it would go away. I try to focus on the positives in life, but when I get down it gets very hard. I just want someone to listen sometimes, not give advice, you know? I realize my weaknesses and have insight into what's "wrong" with the way I think. Having insight is one thing, changing the way I think is totally different. I have a list of things I would love to change about myself, and ruminating (or dwelling) would be at the top of the list. Anyway, thanks for understanding and posting. It made me feel not so alone.
Not a problem Psybear. Dwelling when you're sad IMO is fairly normal. I don't think its just how us multiples work, just that it may be a bit worse because we may have more people being down at the same time. I totally get the feeling of not wanting to dwell and wishing it to go away, and I've come to realize that sometimes, if I just let myself dwell and ruminate for a bit, the issue actually resolves itself because I've not fought my mind/soul/body/heart. I totally understand wanting someone to just listen and not give advice. I know it sucks to not really have people on the outs to listen without making us feel judged, but I've found this forum to be a sanity saver.
Personally I think you're doing just fine. People focus on positives and negatives all the time, even singles. And the fact that you're aware of what needs changing is even better. You're absolutely right. Changing the way you think is different and even difficult at times. Don't be too hard on yourself though. You might be a multiple but the way you think is perfectly normal for you. Its how you coped and worked things out, and changing that is going to be rough.
And not a problem. Its rough... Really rough feeling like you're the only one going through something, and knowing you're not along makes all the difference.