Obsession with host?! (Trigger)

by **user110867** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:46 am

I want Leslie here now! I can't find her! Where is she?! Where is she?! I need her here. I hate full on switches sometimes because then she's not here and she's all I really have. :cry:

I feel like a freak. I think I have an obsession with her. I feel angry talking to anyone else. This is crazy. I don't know. I want us to isolate ourselves from all of the other alters and other people in our life. Why can't we just run away and live alone together? D*mn. I feel like a freak. I don't know what to do. She's all I think about now. It's like an obsession that I can't get over. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

I feel the same way about Rachael sometimes. I wish it could just be us again like in the very beginning. I wish she could spend more time inside with me. I feel lonely without her. There are times when I want to run away with her too. I wish we had separate bodies so we could actually have a true relationship. I don't think you're a freak at all. I think it's just that when you're so close to someone and they mean so much to you it's agony to be away even for a moment.

I know how tough it is. I hope you find Leslie soon.

by **user110867** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 1:02 am

It's so scary with her gone. I mean, the only time I feel content is at night when we are alone in the room just talking. Or there was this one time when we made grilled cheese and had flashlights and seashells all over the place and made shadow figures wit our hands while listening to music. I don't know. I just can't get this to stop. I want my own body so bad sometimes so she would know that I'm not just 'some alter'. I hate this overwhelming feeling. She just needs to come back.

by **Evanescent** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 1:25 am

That's exactly how it feels for me. The only time she really spends time with me is at night and we cuddle under the stars or on the beach. It sounds like you have really good times with Leslie.

I totally understand wanting your own body. Sometimes I think Rachael sees me as a nice comfort alter or a pass time until she meets someone in the real world. I don't want her to meet anyone else I want her to just stay with me and work on our relationship to make it more real. It's just so frustrating!! Because if I had my own body then it would all be perfect!

I'm sure Leslie will come back to you soon.I know it's difficult having to deal with feeling that way.

by **DarkDreamer19** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 1:43 am

Kohaku is the same way with our Host Kim, when we first came here its all he talked about to others in PM trying to get information on what to do, and how to handle it. It was hard on him and it finally got to the point he tried to *Trigger warning* kill her boyfriend in hope he could body jump him *end Trigger* but in the end Kohaku let Kim date her boyfriend and left for a little while.

by **user110867** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 4:16 am

Logan, I'm here. Are you alright?

-- Mon Mar 04, 2013 4:21 am --

I'm ok. :/

by **Evanescent** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:00 am

DarkDreamer19 wrote:It was hard on him and it finally got to the point he tried to *Trigger warning* kill her boyfriend in hope he could body jump him *end Trigger* but in the end Kohaku let Kim date her boyfriend and left for a little while.

I'm glad everything turned out okay, and no one ended up hurt.

by **user110867** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 2:21 pm

I need some kind of coping skill for my panic and urge to self harm when she isn't around. It's difficult and I don't know what to do about this. :/

by **DarkDreamer19** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 2:22 pm

I am glad to honey, you see, Kim and her boyfriend broke up as well, he was happy and was destroyed after they got back together.

by **user110867** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 2:25 pm

Other people love to get in the way, don't they? :/ Especially signifigant others.

Obsession with host?! (Trigger)

Obsession with host?! (Trigger)

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