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Apathy

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Apathy

Postby epluribusunum » Thu Dec 13, 2012 1:12 am

Besides my PTSD/DID I deal with depression, as probably many do. Last week, I had two sessions in a row with my T that were rough for me. One left me feeling empty, the other agitated. I expected the second one to be a positive session; turned out to leave me feeling flat and disinterested. I have a long and solid history with my T, but I don't want to go back, now. Feel like chucking it. Don't have to see him until Tuesday morning.
epluribusunum: 57 yr old gay man, diagnosed DID, with alters Bernice, Coach, Betty, RonRi - all adults; Eddie, Jr., -teenager; Little Dreamer - child; Toni - mysterious one...maybe a fragment?
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Re: Apathy

Postby humptydumpty » Thu Dec 13, 2012 2:13 am

That's depression talking, my friend. I am guessing that you are posting this here because it doesn't make sense, but you still feel it...

epluribusunum wrote:I have a long and solid history with my T,
= thoughts uninhibited by depression.

epluribusunum wrote:but I don't want to go back, now. Feel like chucking it. Don't have to see him until Tuesday morning.
= depressed thoughts.

Most people here have probably felt severe depression. I spent time in a hospital because of it. When I was about 18, I finally came out of a horrible period of depression that landed me in the hospital twice. My psychiatrist casually said "it's just a feeling"...If I was depressed when he said that, I probably would have been offended. But, being in a non-depressed state, it felt like a eureka moment. He's right!! Depression is just a feeling! It's no more real than freakin peter pan!

If my advice means anything, I say you need to have a fun night uninhibited by dealing with DID or depression. You've had too much internal stimulation, you need a reset. A night out with friends does wonders for me.

PS, two sessions in a row would be rough for anyone!!
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Re: Apathy

Postby tomboy24 » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:46 pm

I agree with humptydumpty, especially since I know depression and apathy all too well.

You either need some "you" time, or you need to force yourself to do something you usually enjoy.

"You" time would be doing sh*t like relaxing all day, treating yourself to favorite foods or something, listening to calming or positive music, watching funny movies, maybe some meditation, some naps here and there, stuff like that. A day to not give a sh*t about anything but your relaxation.

Forcing yourself to do something you usually enjoy can help as well. It usually works for me. I'll either force myself to start drawing, or to watch a favorite funny movie, or to go out with a friend or two, or to even go out for a walk myself just to get some fresh air, or to listen to upbeat music; stuff that I don't feel in the mood to do despite knowing that I usually enjoy doing it. Because I know that if I force myself to do it, yeah, I might not have a good time at first, but often what ends up happening is that I'll get distracted by what I'm doing and start to feel better until before I know it, I'm enjoying myself and what I'm doing.

Definitely sounds like you just need a good break from therapy. Two sessions would be rough on anyone, like humptydumpty said. Don't give in to those depressive thoughts/feelings. Keep going to therapy. Maybe ask for a break or a couple of light sessions though?


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Re: Apathy

Postby humptydumpty » Fri Dec 14, 2012 2:32 am

tomboy24 wrote:"You" time would be doing sh*t like relaxing all day, treating yourself to favorite foods or something, listening to calming or positive music, watching funny movies, maybe some meditation, some naps here and there, stuff like that. A day to not give a sh*t about anything but your relaxation.


Exactly. "Self love" days, if you will. A conscious effort to distract oneself from the constant tremendous inner stimulation.

It may sound odd, but forcing yourself to smile helps too..It's sort of like priming a pump. I read it in a book written by Malcolm Gladwell. I also just searched for it online and came up with this article: http://www.pgeveryday.com/pgeds/article ... -your-mood

tomboy24 wrote:Maybe ask for a break or a couple of light sessions though?


Agreed. My doc is a very interesting person to talk with about anything. Sometimes, when I need a light session, we have conversations about how people think or interesting tidbits that are thought provoking. It helps me build trust with her to have these conversations as well.
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