This is my first post here, so i hope i don't say the wrong thing... I just googled similar to what you just wrote, and came across this, and I was so comforted, and I hope you will be too, that as cliche as it is, I'm not alone, which means you're not. It's so hard, and I don't know what to do either, but you get to a point where you just feel stuck, and you wish someone else would choose for you and take on all the consequences. Anyway... I just wanted to let you know that in your title, in what you just said, I promise you're not alone, because I'm in it too... and as selfish as I must sound... I'm hoping it's a little comforting.