You're sure not alone. Until 3 months ago I'd never had even a fleeting suicidal though
in my life - however, since that time it's been a 24/7 nightmare having reacted to a medication
causing a possible neurological issue that has not been corrected.
The reaction has been awful, with dreadful and persistent psychological symptoms. Suffice to say
I'm hoping this will resolve. I completely understand and sympathise with anyone, whatever the cause, situational or chemical to the battle we face on a daily basis - caught somewhere between
desperately wanting the suffering to end/being cured (I mean of course we do) but not wanting to die in the hope that we will 'get better'.
I'm pretty shocked to find myself in this situation with, at this point, seemingly no way out Im literally
bumping through the days in the hope this will get better. This time last year I was happily celebrating the beginning of summer with lots to look forward. This year, it's a battle for survival clock watching through the days.
One thing I've learnt, and you are veterans but it's that mental illness is pretty much invisible. No one can see the pain and suffering. Hold on to close friends and family and make them understand as best you can cos we all need the people we love, close to us to get through it! With attention seeking, I think when we reach a certain point that's only natural - it truly is a cry for help. I'm doing it myself, I want someone to get rid of this!! We need love and attention and understaning, someone that can help share and take away the pain even if it is only for a little while.
If only we had broken legs. If anyone needs to talk Im here!! Promise. And if i'm cured soon always will be here for others.....