by Yokker » Mon Oct 20, 2014 5:16 pm
There's this comic-writer who has the most perfect comic for it, for existential problems.
It's just a drawing of a guy who says (contemplatively): Pity that everything is relative..
Sometimes I just want a real truth, not subjective, and even though I know all is relative and subjective I want to state some things like they are objective. I mean... within our frame of reference things have meanings and cetain things are better then others, but not everyone shares the same frame of reference.. I'm still trying to accept it.
I try to base some "truths" on biological foundations, you can't feel like eating or drinking isn't needed to survive, you will just die. This is very true. Maybe ust a bit silly, but it makes me feel less like there is no meaning at all.
I can direct my thinking away from most of the negative stuff to some extent. I don't have to go deep into thinking about the utter meaninglessness of life and the unimaginable suffering of so many animals and humans that means nothing.
But what I can't really ovecome is feeling like my life is devoid of meaning. I sometimes feel so empty, even while eating something that I will just stop chewing my food and just sit there passively with this food in my mouth, no will to chew or to taste anything. What am I even doing this for? Which is such a silly question, the answer is very easy, I need to eat to feed myself, to stay healthy and to live. And sometimes I feel like this riding my bike, or walking somewhere. I will just feel overwhelmed with this meaningless that I just stop. It's a feeling that usually passes after a minute or two.
On a positive note, the fact that why design our own meaning (to an extent) gives us infinite possibilities. Whatever we want, whatever makes us feel like it means something.
I think my existential problems come as a side-effect of depression that simply makes your brain "unable" to generate the feeling of meaning. Like anhedonia takes away the feeling of pleasure, some way you feeling of meaning can be numb too I think.
For comical exploration of existential crisis watch the movie I Heart Huckabees.