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It's been a while

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It's been a while

Postby NihilismOppurtunity » Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:32 am

Hello,

it's been a while since I've been on these forums. I just need support right now. I don't have a therapist and I won't until mid-september. Unless I muster up the courage to contact the resources given to me from planned parenthood. I just recently did a Big Move across the country. I'm not adjusting well at all. If I don't need to go into the city, I stay in my room all day. Literally all day. I'm eating okay though.

I haven't thought about suicide in a long time. But it's starting to creep into my thoughts more and more. I haven't told any of my friends because I've been doing so well and I don't want them to think I'm relapsing. But I'm scared that I'm, as medical professionals would say, "decompensating."

I've been hearing voices, I'm having psychotic symptoms again (I'm schizoaffected - depressive type). I decided to post in the mood portion of the forum though because the symptoms bothering me the most are my depression, not the psychosis. But it's important to bring it up because it's playing a part in my depression I feel like.

I don't know what to do. I just want a huge or maybe a frappe. I don't know. I don'tk now. I'll be safe, but the thoughts are becoming more serious-feeling and I'm scared that I'll act on it impulsively. I don't know. Sorry.
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Re: It's been a while

Postby Oliveira » Sat Jul 23, 2016 11:18 am

Hello,

are you on any medication? If not, would it be possible for you to see a psychiatrist? In my country the GP can also prescribe antidepressants (and other necessary meds) – as long as you used them before and they helped. Perhaps this would be possible – and easier?

I hope you feel better soon.
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Re: It's been a while

Postby NihilismOppurtunity » Sun Jul 24, 2016 1:45 am

Yeah I'm on three meds currently. An antipsychotic, a mood stabilizer, and a blood pressure med that helps with PTSD nightmares.
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Re: It's been a while

Postby Oliveira » Sun Jul 24, 2016 12:18 pm

Perhaps dosage increase is what's necessary? I've also heard of meds "pooping out" meaning they work for a while but then stop working for no discernible reason – maybe that could be it? (I haven't had this experience myself.)
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Re: It's been a while

Postby NihilismOppurtunity » Sun Jul 24, 2016 2:36 pm

Unfortunately, to get my meds changed, I would need to check into a psych ward probably. And I don't feel like this is an emergency situation. Just really uncomfortable. Thanks for responding, it means a lot. I don't feel as alone right now. Thank you.

I wish I could see a psychiatrist, but I have to establish care at my new therapist's office first and I won't see my new therapist until after initial intake which won't be until mid-september D:
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Re: It's been a while

Postby quietgirl2538 » Sun Jul 24, 2016 8:11 pm

Please seek help by calling 911 if you're in the US or seek some sort of emergency help should you happen to need it. Just be safe and be well, as much as you can be. I've been depressed with psychosis, it's no picnic, that's for sure.
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Re: It's been a while

Postby NihilismOppurtunity » Tue Jul 26, 2016 4:34 am

Thanks for the advice and well wishes quietgirl2538. I would check myself into the hospital if absolutely necessary. 'Til then, I'll continue to seek support outside the hospital as much as possible. This forum being one of my support links. I'm not a danger to myself, and I work very hard to maintain that safety.
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Re: It's been a while

Postby quietgirl2538 » Fri Jul 29, 2016 2:14 pm

NihilismOppurtunity writes:
This forum being one of my support links. I'm not a danger to myself, and I work very hard to maintain that safety.


Yes, I have found Psychforums a source of support as well. Keep us updated.
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Re: It's been a while

Postby NihilismOppurtunity » Sun Jul 31, 2016 2:37 am

Well, my grandfather passed away a few days ago. So now I'm dealing with that all alone. I don't have any friends here where I live, since I just moved here. My only friends are on holiday (I'm house sitting for them).

Still, I don't think I'm a danger so there's no concern there.

I'm just... in a lot of pain and feeling useless.
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Re: It's been a while

Postby quietgirl2538 » Sun Jul 31, 2016 2:57 am

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandfather passing away. And I hope you see your friends soon. That will help you along through all this. I want to say it's normal to feel a lot of pain when you are experiencing all that you are going through right now and feeling useless may seem normal too in that there is nothing more that you can do. What do you think? Go easy on yourself, if you can, you are doing the best you can do with what you have. Keep writing and sharing. Take care.
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