*Abuse, SI Triggers* Save a friend when I'm also depressed

I've been depressed for over a year, with all the periods of feeling extremely suicidal, self harm, drinking, etc. I'm also a good actor, with years of professional lessons--I always seem happy to the people around me.

I was short-term sexually abused by a student-teacher for a period of one year when I was about 10-11; he kissed, fondled, various parts of my body, and called me the love of his life. One of my best friends was also touched by him during that time, though, from what I know, she was abused 'less' than me-though it doesn't seem to have affected her any less-I never heard that he had actually put his lips on hers or anywhere else during that time. However, four years later, my friend is now severely depressed, and, I think, suicidal. She has about three fairly new scars on her arms, with a couple older ones, and I know for sure she has many on her lower legs at least. She sometimes writes the letter 'h' on her hands on arms, and draws with black pen over all the markings on her arms and hands.

Recently, as well, I see her writing help conspicuously on some of her papers--once, she even wrote help in block letters on the top of a page and showed it to me.

I've supported her the entire year, doing my very best to cheer her up; every smile of hers is a joy to me. I'm so scared that she'll die and that it'll all be my fault, and it's making me even more depressed. Almost every moment of my day is dedicated to thinking about her and what I can do.

What can I do?


Thank you in advance for any answers--I won't be offended by anything, so please just give me an opinion. Thank you.

Maybe you could recommend she talk to a therapist about this stuff? Reminding her every now and again how important she is to you couldn't hurt. It's really great that she has a friend like you to rely on, not a lot of people have that.