The Health Industry Cannot Help Me, Looking For Advice

I have had trouble getting help from doctors for a long time, I suffer from some form of depression and the latest drug they have given me is Sertraline. It stops most bad emotions and helps anxieties, but it also takes all emotion and feeling away and I feel like a zombie. I never got much from the world before, I don't have hobbies or friends, and now I get even less. I have long ago lost myself in escapism and whenever I am not at work I am playing video games in my room.

Doctors can do no more for me, I cannot help myself, what can I do? Is it that my brain is damaged and I will derive no pleasure or feeling from life until I die?

Your brain is not damaged.

What it sounds like is you haven't found any methods that have worked for you and that's what's most frustrating. I'm sure it makes you feel hopeless and, because I have depression myself, I understand how much worse that makes you feel.

I don't even work and I lose myself in Video games all day. Still working on Bloodborne .

You can help yourself. Doctors aren't saints, half of them have their heads so full of air they don't even know what they're doing. But there are some good ones out there. There are some good therapists out there too. And sometimes, just sometimes there's a medication out there that might work. I personally choose not to be on them for that very reason: they make you feel like a zombie. All the life and emotions that make up life are gone. I'd rather be depressed than feel that way and that's just my choice.

You don't have to live like this forever if you don't want to. And if you can somehow squeeze at least a quarter of that thought into your mind every morning and every evening, it might just change your perspective on things a little. Thoughts are very powerful, as I'm sure you know. We all know how powerful negative thoughts are, at least.

Positive thoughts are too. Even if you don't believe them an ounce, even if you feel stupid for saying them to yourself, even if the negative half of you rejects them and laughs at you for doing it, do it anyway. Instead of saying you can't help yourself, say you can. Because you can. I can help myself too. It's a struggle every day and maybe for a few days or weeks I won't get out of bed and I won't shower and maybe I won't eat. Maybe when my anxiety is high I won't get out and spend the next six months agoraphobic.

But then maybe some days I won't. Maybe some days I'll get out of bed and I manage to do things. Maybe I manage to use the techniques i've learned from my psychologist to help manage my anxiety out in public and maybe when my brain is rambling off every negative thought in the world, I can find at least one positive on and hold onto it for dear life.

It's all about what you want. Always. Screw the doctors; the doctors aren't you, they don't know what's really going on. Their medication doesn't know jack $#%^. Only you do.

Don't give up on life. It's got so much to offer you and you have so much to offer it.

Something will eventually work for you. It might take a few more years even, but something will work. I wish you well and good luck.

Sorry for the late reply.

I am glad to see a fellow gamer mr Alucard. All I think about is video games. Been browsing the SA LP forums a lot lately.

I find too that some days I end up not doing anything at all and some days I manage to go shopping or for a walk. But I just don't feel anything, and i don't feel anything I can't give myself a reason to do anything.

What techniques were you taught that help you? I find alcohol helps me a lot. I know its not a good way to deal with life but meh you do what you gotta do

I have been to therapy snaga and it didn't help me one bit. I try to tell them how I feel and they don't give a toss, they are like NOPE I SAY YOU HAVE THIS AND THAT IS THAT. They are useless.

I am glad to see a fellow gamer mr Alucard. All I think about is video games. Been browsing the SA LP forums a lot lately

I'm actually a Miss Alucard but it's all good I love me some video games.

What techniques were you taught that help you? I find alcohol helps me a lot. I know its not a good way to deal with life but meh you do what you gotta do

Most of what I was taught was for really strong panic in public, similar to anxiety attacks but a little less severe, but also things to say to myself when I am depressed whether I believe it or not. One thing I learned was a way to get back in touch with your senses. So I guess this would work for the moments of regular anxiety too and quite possibly moments where you feel unbelievably depressed. You're supposed to focus on sound taste touch, hearing and sight. Like if you're in a room you literally say "I see the black television. I hear the dove outside. I taste the chocolate candy". Stuff like that. And it brings you out of your head and into the present space.

So does simple math. If you do some math problems it shifts your focus from deep inside your brain and gives executive function back to your frontal lobe. Puts you in the present too, basically.

With depression specifically, mine comes in bouts and half of the time it's triggered by something dumb that has happened for me. So what I've learned is geared towards that. It seems like things that wouldn't work, like reminding yourself this won't last forever or saying a random positive thought like "I can do this" to myself. But the more you do it, the more your brain will start to believe it. Just like the more someone tells themselves "i'm a loser", the more they start to believe it. A lot of depression has to do with negative thought patterns, so if you implement the same pattern but replace the negativity with positivity (whether you believe it at the moment or not), some people find that their negativity lifts. It hasn't worked 100% for me, but it's changed my perspective on a lot of things.

I will say one thing about the therapist situation: there are a lot of bad ones out there I can't even lie about that. I've ran across many. But everyone is different and sometimes it takes a while to find the right one that fits with you. I decided to go with a humanistic psychologist with a psy.D because everyone I went to before that didn't seem as knowledgeable or passionate. Sometimes you just have to weed through all the crap ones. A lot of em.

Sorry Miss. Video games are like cocaine, gotta use more and more of it to get to that same level of pleasure you got when you first played them as a kid. Great escapism though, I love to go back in time to play games that bring back nostalgic feelings.

So distract the brain from the pain and focus on something till the anxiety and depression goes away? I will try but once it hits its really hard to distract yourself. The longer I have to think about something the more I get worked up and nervous about it. Which is why I started drinking to calm nerves. I have a good shot of scottish whisky and it helps. Not fixing the issue I know but I have been doing it a lot in the last few months.

Over the years I have been to a lot of shrinks and my goodness I certainly got all the crap ones. It is so hard to get across that my brain doesn't work like it should.

I posted this in another thread but I will post this here too as it is the primary thing destroying my life apart from depression -

I have been searching the web for the name of the mental disorder I have. I am probably using the wrong words for the symptoms I have am searching for in google, I was wondering if anyone here knows what I might have so I can look for help easier.



I have depression of some sort which I assume this ties into. My main problem is that I don't feel anything from life, I don't get anything out of my senses. It feels like I am viewing the world through a tunnel or something. My brain just sits there dull and lifeless and everything I see, hear, taste, smell, feel travels to my brain and gets lost on the way. When I go to the beach I want to be all "This is the beach it is lovely!" but instead I only really feel probably 20% of the stimulation a normal person would feel. It is like if you were watching a movie you didn't care for and only paid attention to it now and then. It means I have trouble making decisions too, for a small example if I was going to order food from a menu I assume most people's brains tell them what they want, I don't feel anything, I am neutral to all choices so it makes them hard to make.



The biggest issue is that since I don't feel anything I don't want to do anything and I don't get anything out of life. I do what I have to, I go to work, I eat, and when I have spare time I play games for escapism. But I never feel the need to smile or the desire to do something or see something. I have been this way my entire life and I know it ties into depression but it must be its own medical condition as well. And if it is then I can maybe find help somehow. And I mean find help by internet doctering, I am fed up with the health industry. Being a male today in a world that hates men is difficult and many men are alone and isolated, me included. Perhaps if I can get some feeling then I can figure out what i am and what I should do on a daily basis.

Haha it's okay. I agree with you, especially about the old games. I still have my PS1. It overheats a lot and the only way to cool it is if I take it apart and let the pieces cool off individually.

Yes and no; you don't focus on one single thing, you focus on multiple things and really it's more like just acknowledging those things existence in your present space rather than focusing or analyzing it. And you just keep repeating it out loud to yourself. Oh I know, the hardest part about those stupid little techniques is trying . . . because once you're in that head space it's hard to not be in that head space. That pattern of getting looped into a particular type of thinking that induces that nervousness is exactly why I recommended those "distracting" types of techniques. You'll be amazed at how you're in the midst of anxiety and then suddenly you look around and you're like . . . what was I thinking about again? Just from those techniques. Takes a lot of practice though, I really hope it does for you what it's done for me whenever you decide to give it a try

Well I can't give you a diagnosis but the word that pops into my head when you start mentioning that you don't get anything out of your senses or that you don't feel anything from life is the frequent side kick of depression called Anhedonia. I get the same way in my bouts of depression to the point where I feel no need to move, often forget to eat, ignore everyone around me. Because you say it's been with you for a very, very long time, your own life, I'd recommend searching things like Chronic Depression or Dysthymia. I'm not saying that's what you have, or that you can get an accurate diagnosis from any internet website, but maybe in searching things like that, and Anhedonia, you can find yourself relating to it in some way.

Today, often, it's not acceptable for men to express their feelings as it's damn near expected of women, and I think that contributes to your isolation, which is in no way fair to you or anyone else. I think this is a good place where you can vent about feeling (or not feeling, in your case) a particular way and be able to connect with other people going through what you go through. Hopefully you can find active techniques to try so you can find a little bit of joy in things again. It's all about hard work and practice for those of us struggling with your mental health. And unfortunately, we don't always have strong advocates by our side to help us through. Which is why I'm glad you've come here.

Sometimes doing spontaneous things help, too. Being in routine can be like a trap for some people, even if they don't realize it. Like deciding one day to call sick into work and snatching out a map and putting your finger on a random place near you and taking a day trip there. Don't know if that's possible for you in your situation, but often things like that can spark some life back into certain people. Of course your brain is going to be like "why are you even doing this? You're not going to get anything out if it anyway", but that's just your brain. It's just background noise. That's what I label all the voices in my head (not actual voices, but you get the point). Spontaneous trips, trying a new food place, anything out of the ordinary. Sometimes that can do you a world of good.

You have to take your ps1 apart to cool it off? That is old school gaming for you:), did the fans die?

I will try whenever I feel anxiety and the world closing in. They say the only way to be brave is to face your fears over and over again until it doesn't effect you anymore. That is just as hard as using distracting maneuvers. Our brains often work against us and it is very hard to trick them, they go rampant at the worst times.

I have looked Anhedonia and it is possible, same with Chronic Depression and Dysthymia. I was hoping if I could narrow my problem down I would maybes find the answer, a bit naive of me. If only it were that easy, some day in the future if I do go back to the doctors I could throw those terms around. Some weekends I just sit on my computer all weekend and do nothing constructive at all, I am a right lazy bastard when I am not at work.

Its frustrating to see groups for men who are there to discuss the issues men face are attacked and shut down by feminists all the time, if you are a white male nobody wants to know about you because apparently you have to "check your privilege". That is social justice for you. And then there is the depression chatrooms which you are ignored while the mods have a chat about BMWs or something. Also quite a few depression forums have a delay on sign up (awaiting approval) which is surely bad if someone is wanting to kill themselves and they want to talk to someone.

I should get out and about more. I do have a lot of sick days to spare. I just feel so out of place and awkward in public places so I always go for a walk in the wilds. I'm 26 shortly and I am still no more comfortable in my skin as I was a couple of decades ago.

Can we please leave gender/race politics out of the discussion? /mod