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Can't Remember Things: Dissociation?

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Re: Can't Remember Things: Dissociation?

Postby uscitizen1966 » Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:32 pm

Thanks for that! :)

Yes I do want to be in reality. And it is quite painful. The thing for me is that reality is unpleasant, to say the least, which makes it all the more painful. When I can travel to my fantasy land I can actually be happy, but when I stay in reality, I am miserable!
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Re: Can't Remember Things: Dissociation?

Postby artychik1 » Wed Jul 13, 2011 5:10 am

I totally understand! My trick is to start filling my life with things I like doing. I've taken up visual art again and have gotten into an exercise routine. I look fwd to these things now and I feel more like myself when I do them though I still fantasize about company at the time because for me, loneliness is a huge trigger. I need to work on getting good friends in my life I enjoy spending time around. I just worry sometimes if I'm not a likeable person because I am depressed and I try not to be around people but it eventually is impossible to hide. How about you?
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Re: Can't Remember Things: Dissociation?

Postby uscitizen1966 » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:19 pm

Well, for me, many, if not most of the things I used to enjoy doing I can't anymore. Long, boring story of physical problems. Used to love to go hiking, walking, out taking pictures, can't do those things anymore. Exercise, can't no way, walking about the house puts me in bed with pain.

I agree, when I can do things like even just go out to the grocery store, I feel better and feel more "normal."

I know what you mean. I felt that way when I was super-depressed. I'd think: who wants to be around such a negative person. I totally understand this.

I guess I am not big into friends. Very much a hermit. I've tried, repeatedly to maintain friendships. I found a checklist online one day for dealing with BPD that said try to find and maintain one good friend. Ugh. To me that would be torture. I am fine with online friends. To me they ARE friends. But in person friends, no, I would really dislike that.

It's interesting how different people are. For me being alone is a comfort. I am usually triggered by others, at almost at no other time. LOL Weird, huh? If I could go live off in the woods in a shack away from all of society and only socialize on the internet, I would do so in a heartbeat. :)

I do TRY, so hard, to fill my time with things I enjoy. My problem is my body, which will not cooperate. So I do have too much time on my hands and not enough things to do. I get bored sometimes. Usually just sit and write or read, post here, do housework, small stuff. But I would love to be out there doing the things I used to be able to. I'm sure that would help with all of this. I think I am in a phase of trying to figure out which things I can do, to take up time, that don't hurt my body. Quite a challenge to say the least. Probably another reason reality hurts so much. I have lost me literally, because of my physical problems.
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Re: Can't Remember Things: Dissociation?

Postby amberfire » Sun Jun 15, 2014 1:23 am

uscitizen1966, are you still reading this forum? It appears you haven't been here in some time. Your posts could have been written by my son, it is shocking how similar they are. First, how are you? I would very much like to speak with you via this forum as I am hoping you may have information that can be of help to my son or visa versa. Please let me know if you are still checking in.
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Re: Can't Remember Things: Dissociation?

Postby Havasaur » Wed Feb 10, 2016 3:35 pm

I would like to mention that many worldviews accept this dreamlike quality of reality as truth. In contrast to what many people seem to think nowadays, especially within psychiatry, we can't just decide that materialism is the one correct philosophy. Seems childish to dismiss the mystery of existence entirely.

Didn't someone suggest that this dimension is sort of a simuation with gravity as the starting point?

In any case, we heal by recognizing the value of all experience.
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Re: Can't Remember Things: Dissociation?

Postby Asheranne » Thu Mar 10, 2016 5:54 pm

Thank you for your post - I didn't know when I opened it that I would read that you also have BPD.
My dis-associative moments are exactly like yours - a shadow of life where its easier to say I didn't eat because if I did I truly have no recollection. I screw up at work all the time from it!!!! Sometimes I know I am in that pit other times I am unaware. The memory loss is so bad to go through other people don't understand one shred - they act like I just don't listen. Its heartbreaking sometimes but usually i don't mind because I'm used to it - I only mind how other people perceive what is going on.

I honestly don't do anything anymore like most here - friends, gone, clubs dancing sports volunteer work - not in forever - I even can't do my hobbies like crafting dream catchers jewelry and other art for weeks, months at a time- it just somehow seems so impossible even if my head says that is ridiculous which from anyone else's perspective it is. That makes me fall further like why care then.
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