Well, for me, many, if not most of the things I used to enjoy doing I can't anymore. Long, boring story of physical problems. Used to love to go hiking, walking, out taking pictures, can't do those things anymore. Exercise, can't no way, walking about the house puts me in bed with pain.
I agree, when I can do things like even just go out to the grocery store, I feel better and feel more "normal."
I know what you mean. I felt that way when I was super-depressed. I'd think: who wants to be around such a negative person. I totally understand this.
I guess I am not big into friends. Very much a hermit. I've tried, repeatedly to maintain friendships. I found a checklist online one day for dealing with BPD that said try to find and maintain one good friend. Ugh. To me that would be torture. I am fine with online friends. To me they ARE friends. But in person friends, no, I would really dislike that.
It's interesting how different people are. For me being alone is a comfort. I am usually triggered by others, at almost at no other time. LOL Weird, huh? If I could go live off in the woods in a shack away from all of society and only socialize on the internet, I would do so in a heartbeat.
I do TRY, so hard, to fill my time with things I enjoy. My problem is my body, which will not cooperate. So I do have too much time on my hands and not enough things to do. I get bored sometimes. Usually just sit and write or read, post here, do housework, small stuff. But I would love to be out there doing the things I used to be able to. I'm sure that would help with all of this. I think I am in a phase of trying to figure out which things I can do, to take up time, that don't hurt my body. Quite a challenge to say the least. Probably another reason reality hurts so much. I have lost me literally, because of my physical problems.